Whenever we get around to it, we’ll post a recipe that we both made. This week’s recipe was Slow Cooker Cheesy Bacon Ranch Potatoes, a recipe that Nance spotted somewhere and that we both thought sounded tasty; it was originally published on Damn Delicious.
First things first: someone mentioned in the comments to the previous post – and they are right – that we aren’t correctly informing y’all that when we link to things on Amazon, they are affiliate links. This means that whenever you click on that link and then buy something from Amazon, we get a tiny percentage of your purchase. I need to put something in the sidebar and will be posting at the top or bottom of each post, so everyone knows that we’re pulling in the big bucks.
We’re saving up for a beach house – so far, we’ve saved nearly enough for a pack of gum!
Now, the recipe. Nance sent me the link at some point and said “Doesn’t this look good?”, and so when it was time to choose our recipe for this month, I suggested we just go ahead and make the potatoes. I mean: potatoes, cheese, bacon. What’s not to like, am I right?
Bacon, red potatoes, cheddar, ranch dressing mix, chives. First up, make your bacon. The recipe says to preheat your oven and bake the bacon at 400ºF. Instead, I made the bacon using my very favorite oven-baked bacon recipe – put bacon into a cold oven, set it to 375ºF, and bake for 20 – 30 minutes (depending on how thick it is and how well-cooked you prefer your bacon). You don’t have to do it like I do, you could pretty much cook it however the hell you want, even ::shudder:: pan-frying it.
You do you, is what I’m saying. I made mine in the oven.
And while your bacon is makin’, you can get the other shit ready – line your crock pot with foil, chop up your taters.
Before you know it, your bacon is ready!
Doesn’t it look tasty? I was a little grumpy that it hadn’t occurred to me to make extra bacon to shove in my face.
Let your bacon cool, and crumble it up. Or use a knife and chop it up while it’s still hot, if you’re the impatient sort.
Coat your foil with cooking spray, and put a layer of potatoes in the crock pot. Top with cheese, ranch dressing powder, and bacon. Repeat it two more times, setting aside half a cup of cheese.
Fold the foil down over the whole shebang, put the top on the crockpot, and cook on low for 7-8 hours or high for 3-4.
Then go confer with your chef kitten.
That’s Chef Barnaby, who I was babysitting (along with his sisters Bubble and Squeek) for a couple of weeks while their regularly scheduled foster mom was in Uganda. They’ve gone back to her, but they certainly were fun while they were here with us. Chef Barnaby told me that my knife skills were for shit. What does HE know?
When it’s been 3-4 hours (or 7-8 if you’re cooking on low), remove the lid, unfold the foil, and sprinkle the remaining half cup of cheese on top. Put the lid back, and cook until melted, which should only take a couple of minutes.
Then serve that shit!
We had our potatoes on Memorial Day weekend, along with burgers and coleslaw, because it seems a very cookout-friendly side dish.
What was the verdict? Well, before I can tell you that, I have to tell you this: I am a dumbass. I am such a dumbass that I see a recipe, and I think “Oooh, that looks good, and I LOVE everything I’ve ever made from Damn Delicious, so this will be a hit!”
The problem is that although in THEORY I really like potatoes (and in actuality I DO like bacon and cheese), the reality is that I’m just…not that crazy about potatoes. I’ll eat them if they’re put in front of me, I like a nice scoop of potato salad, I’ll eat one or two of your french fries, every now and then I like a baked potato, and mashed potatoes are okay, but for the most part I have no desire or craving for potato products, and I’m happy to skip them. So these would have had to be laced with the crack cocaine* to get my interest. I ate them, and was pretty much “meh” about it. Fred said they were good, but he also wasn’t super crazy about them, and we gave our leftovers to the chickens.
So we give this recipe a resounding “meh” with the caveat that we are weirdos, and if you’re into potatoes in a big way, your mileage may vary.
*Also not into drugs or drinking. I might be the most boring person you’ve ever met.
Once again, I saw this recipe on my Facebook wall. I have no idea who posted it because that would involve me having to pay attention to something for more than 30 seconds. I saw potatoes and a crockpot and I was ready to roll. I figured this was going to be an easy winner.
I had to change the recipe right from the beginning because my bacon was frozen (I buy a 3-pack at Sam’s) and I don’t like to bake my bacon in the oven anyway. Thankfully, Shirley (aka: mom) was around so she fried the bacon for me. There is nothing worse than a woman with ADD standing around waiting for bacon to fry.
Krissie was on high alert while that bacon was frying!
The recipe seemed easy enough. Throw a bunch of shit in a foil-lined crock-pot and rock ‘n roll. That is an affiliate link over there.
My potatoes were so old that they were growing eyes. I think they’re called eyes. That’s what we always called them. If I’m wrong (gasp!), feel free to tell me in the comment section. Oh god, I hope they’re called eyes and I haven’t been stupid for 40+ years. Anyway, those sections had to be cut out and then the potatoes had to be chopped.
As usual, this recipe called for fresh chopped chives of which I had none. Who keeps chives in the house on the regular? I sure as hell don’t. Luckily, I had bought chives one day and I have until 2018 to use them up. As it was, the recipe never said when/where to add the chives so I didn’t even use my dried ones. I predict this bottle of chives is going to be thrown out in 2019 when I need them and realize they’re too old to use. Sigh.
My first layer of potatoes turned out perfect! I’m a real food blogger! Look at those potatoes, man. Look at that photography. I am ALL THAT.
I decided to not mess with that twee one tablespoon of ranch dressing. I just sprinkled it over all of the potatoes and hoped for the best.
All layered up and ready to go. Note the pretty bacon. Did I mention I had high hopes for this recipe?
This is the day that we found out what food Krissie doesn’t like. Raw potatoes are not for her.
All sealed up and ready to go. I pretend that I’m off to work and returning to a fabulous meal when I use my crockpot. But I’ll be honest…I never leave the house when it’s on. Shirley’s neurosis has wrecked my nerves so now I worry about fires and such. Thanks, mom. Keep spreading The Crazy.
I let it cook for 7-8 hours (leaning more towards 8 hours).
This is what I ended up with. Note: My husband and mother liked it. I thought it was terrible. The potatoes on the top weren’t cooked, the cheese was steamed and rubbery. The bacon was damp from being enclosed in the foil with the potatoes. Damp bacon. Rubbery cheese. Hard potatoes. Yuck, yuck, yuck. When you look at all the work that went into this, making the bacon, cleaning/chopping the potatoes, grating the cheese and layering everything this recipe is a big fuck you to anyone who tries it. On the box of ranch dressing there was a recipe for making potatoes in the oven. You chop them up, coat them with oil, sprinkle the ranch, throw them in the oven and call it a day. That’s my kind of recipe!
The paparazzi almost got a shot of the elusive Felina, but she wasn’t about to cooperate.
- 6 slices of bacon
- 3 pounds of chopped potatoes (preferably red)
- 1 c shredded cheddar + ½ c. shredded cheddar
- 1 T ranch dressing mix powder
- 2 T chopped chives
- Make your bacon - put it in a cold 375ºF oven and bake for 20 - 30 minutes until crisp (or pan-fry it, if that's your preference). When it's done, let drain on paper towels, then crumble it when it's cool enough to handle.
- Line a crock pot with tinfoil, leaving enough of an overhand so you can wrap it across the top. Coat tinfoil with cooking spray.
- Layer ⅓ of the potatoes on the bottom of the crock pot, top with ⅓ cup of shredded cheddar, 1 tsp Ranch dressing powder, and ⅓ of your bacon. Repeat twice more.
- Cover potatoes with foil; cover crock pot and cook on low heat 7 - 8 hours or high heat 3 - 4 hours.
- Sprinkle with remaining ½ c. cheese and cover again until cheese is melted, 1 - 2 minutes.
- Serve sprinkled with chives.
Um, there’s no Nance’s Take
Okay, how on earth can this recipe be this bad? Like Robyn said, it has only good things in it.
Well boo that it wasn’t more awesome, but the awesomeness of a post on my birthday totally makes up for it.
That’s why we posted! 😉 Happy happy birthday!!!
That’s because I was stupid and didn’t know how to put it up. It’s up there now. lol
I like all those ingredients, bacon potatoes cheese, but yeah this seems like a big meh. Those don’t seem like slow cooker type foods. I could see slicing the potatoes and making it like scalloped potatoes layering slices of potatoes, pre cooked bacon and cheese and then mixing the ranch dressing with a cup or 2 of milk and baking for an hour.
Yes, I think this same recipe in the oven would be fantastic! I have no luck with crockpot veggies or potatoes.
Now that you mention it, I don’t think I’ve ever had a successful crockpot meat or veggie recipe. I think crockpots are just meant for meat!
I could see this being a crockpot fail – this absolutely belongs in the oven. And why not – you already have it on to cook the bacon, so you might as well use it to cook the whole dish.
And the recipe is quite definitely missing a VERY important ingredient – SOUR CREAM. You absolutely, positively cannot have potatoes without sour cream. If it’s a potato dish, you can eat it with sour cream, including but not limited to: French fries, hash browns, baked potatoes, potato casserole, etc.. In fact, sour cream is a far superior dipping medium than catsup/ketchup for French fries or hashed browns if you ask me (and even if you don’t).
So when you serve up that heaping spoonful of fresh from the OVEN cheesey bacon potatoes, put a nice big dollup of sour cream on top. It will change your world 🙂
Do you sell sour cream for a living? Ha! I love sour cream so I am totally down with all of your suggestions.
I could go for some sour cream. 🙂
Any leftover sour cream and ranch mix would make a fine dip for potato chips. Or does that constitute a potato vendetta?
I make a variation of that… chop red potatoes very thin, throw in a big ol’ Ziploc with a packet (or two if you want) of the powdered ranch… add enough olive oil to make everything wet with a little left over for them to cook in and bake covered at 400 degrees until they are soft (about 30-40 min.) SO.GOOD. I never add bacon because I am a weirdo who doesn’t like bacon. lol
Your recipe makes sense. This recipe took way too much time and effort for the results that we got.
Wayyyyy too much effort!
If you’re going to serve potatoes with cheese, bacon and ranch dressing, then the potatoes need to be *crisp,* IMHO. Thank you for clarifying this for me!
I think you’re right!
I’m kinda like Nance. I don’t trust crockpot cooking. Not because of fire though.
I saved the Amish cookie recipe. Guess who has a five pound container of sour cream? Come on over Chris!
Save the Amish Cookie recipe that I put in the comments, the one we made for DCEP sucked. And go you for having five pounds of sour cream!
I saved the one in the comments. I am going to make them with butter.
I’m glad you did this because I 100% thought this was going to be the best food ever made and it sounds like it wasn’t. Also I hate recipes that are for the crock pot but entail cooking a bunch of shit first. Screw that. I want to dump raw shit in there and come back to a 5-star meal (this never happens).
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
Right?! Crockpot recipes are supposed to be fast and simple to throw together!
::sigh:: I got so excited when I saw this recipe, having glorious visions of arriving at a BBQ, crockpot in hand, and taking numerous bows as attendees sang my praises as a culinary genius. I guess it’s back to getting a prepared tray of veggies from the grocery store.
It’s a bummer, for sure!
If you want glorious, take Spinach Dip made with the recipe on the Knorr’s Vegetable Dip packet. Sprinkle chopped green onion and crumbled bacon on top.We call it Crackity Crack Dip.
Those people who never eat? They will devour it like ravenous beasts.
I LOVE that spinach dip! I’ve never tried it with bacon, but I can attest that even without, it is SO GOOD!
I divide the main batch into 4-6 portions to chill. Taking them out one at a time keeps the dip cold. A family size box of Ritz Crackers works perfectly. BTW Feel free to link these brand names if you can. I don’t know how it works but a few more shekels for website upkeep is a good thing.
Now that does sound glorious!