Every week we’ll post a recipe that we both made. This week’s recipe was Red Lobster Cheese Biscuits in a Loaf Pan. Printable recipe can be found at the bottom of this post. The original recipe can be found over at iVillage.com
This week’s recipe was my choice. I ran across it on Pinterest and knew I had to make it, because who doesn’t love the HELL out of those little cheese biscuits from Red Lobster? And doesn’t it sound way easier to throw it in a loaf pan and bake it than making biscuits? It totally does.
(Amanda is sniffing in disdain right now and saying “Chain restaurants. Well, of course YOU PEOPLE eat at chain restaurants.”)
Milk, flour, chunks o’ cheddar, sour cream, salt, pepper, cayenne, baking powder. Not shown: melted butter.
Throw all your dry ingredients into a big bowl and whisk ’em all together.
Then toss your cheese chunks in the bowl and coat them with the flour and other dry ingredients. This somehow helps to prevent the cheese from sinking. You don’t want all your cheese to sink to the bottom of the bread, do you? No, you don’t.
In a different bowl, mix all your wet ingredients (milk, sour cream, butter, egg) together.
Throw all your wet ingredients in with your dry ingredients and mix well.
Toss it all into a loaf pan. The recipe said to “oil” the loaf pan, which I did. I recommend you use Baker’s Joy instead.
Bake that shit, and take a kitten break while it’s baking.
This is Kate and one of her five kittens, Aslan. He’s well past the age of needing to nurse, but that doesn’t stop him from harassing his mother 75 times a day. Sometimes she bunny kicks him in the head, and sometimes she gives in. Hope springs eternal for little Aslan.
This is what my loaf of bread looked like when it came out of the oven.
It barfed up some of the cheddar – but hey, at least the cheddar didn’t all sink to the bottom of the loaf, amiright?
When I went to remove it from the pan, it stuck at the bottom. Because I oiled it instead of using the stupid Baker’s Joy.
On the up side, I was able to pull that chunk out of the pan and see how the bread was instead of having to wait for the loaf to cool. DAMN it was good.
This is what a loaf of bread looks like when its cooling on a wire rack. Fascinating, no?
Then I had a brain storm (or an aneurysm, you decide). “This loaf of bread totally needs to be brushed with melted butter with garlic salt mixed in it!” I told Fred. He concurred. I said “You come mix the garlic salt in with the butter, and I’ll brush it on the bread!”
I cleaned up the dishes in the sink while Fred melted the butter and added the garlic salt. He tasted it. “This needs more!” He tasted it again. “The garlic taste just really isn’t coming through!” Finally, he’d added enough garlic salt that the butter met with his approval. I got out the pastry brush and brushed the butter on the bread.
“Let’s eat!” I said. I sliced the bread.
I took a big bite of a piece of bread.
And it was like a goddamned salt lick. Deer were crashing through the door and elbowing me out of the way to get at that shit. As it turned out, my brain surgeon of a brilliant husband was DUMPING garlic salt into the butter, the garlic salt was sinking to the bottom of the bowl, and then he was tasting the melted butter from the top of the bowl without mixing the garlic salt into what he was tasting. It was fucking VILE.
We ended up cutting the top and sides off the bread and ate what was left, but the spell was broken. He totally ruined it. He’s never allowed in my kitchen again. Fucker.
Seriously, that stuff was good. I recommend it. Just don’t let Fred help out in your kitchen.
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Truth Game: I have never been inside a Red Lobster® restaurant (I don’t like seafood). I have no idea what their cheese biscuits taste like and I have no intention of ever finding out. I have heard a lot of people rave about how good they are and I almost bought their official boxed mix (heads-up, affiliate link). The reason I didn’t buy it? Because The Olive Garden® restaurant tricked me into buying two bottles of their salad dressing and it sucked. It was so awful that it made me paranoid about buying those kind of branded items. Okay, MORE paranoid. Whatevs. If one of you guys buy it…
1. Use the affiliate link. Ha!
2. Tell us all about it!
There are many people that take issue with a lot of different things (Amanda). This recipe annoyed me when I saw that it said to “oil” the pan. Should my dumb ass be wiping the pan with an oil-soaked paper towel or could I just “grease” the pan with Crisco® like God intended? I had a flashback of 11-year-old Nance using vegetable oil and her fingers to prepare a cake pan. And I was flouring that mess, too. There was a good reason for Home Economics to be taught in school, people. And thank Christ I was forced to take it in 7th grade!
After the greasing and oiling issue I started to wonder if there are people out there that don’t know you have to level your flour when you measure it. Something so simple, yet really important.
Well, now you know. Level that shit.
I don’t think I would have this in my cupboard if it weren’t for DCEP. I have always used cayenne flakes. And no lie, I would use a mortal/pestle thing to grind it up. What rock have I been living under? Sheesh.
I didn’t even taste the cayenne powder in the biscuit, but Rick says you could. So take that however you want to because I don’t have a clue.
Felina really, really wants to be a part of the action. But she does not fit in with my artistic ideal so tough shit, little dog.
Demon cat be snorting that cayenne and exorcising like Linda Blair. Heh.
Shh…this is the whisk that came with Shirley’s (aka:mom) special stainless steel pan set. I’m totally using it behind her back. Hi, mom. You should probably find a new hiding place.
Half of 8 ounces is 4 ounces which is equal to the amount this recipe requires. I genius!
(Shout-out to Shelleyness – who I always think of whenever I use a Ziploc® Bag).
I cut the cheese (hee!) into ¼” cubes. Or what I thought ¼” cubes might look like. I sure as hell wasn’t going to measure them.
Action shot with Polish Pottery!
This is kinda gross, huh? And I need my ass kicked for trying to pour a too full bowl like that into another bowl. I got lucky this time, normally I would have had to clean up a huge mess.
This is me not over-stirring.
Color me un-impressed. It tasted okay. But cutting the biscuit loaf was a pain in the ass. Crumbs everywhere. It was also a pain in the ass to eat because hunks would break off when you lifted it. Ugh. Too much hassle/mess for me to bother with it again. I’ll pass.
- 3 c flour
- 1 T baking powder
- 1 tsp salt
- ¼ tsp cayenne pepper
- ⅛ tsp black pepper
- 4 ounces cheddar cheese, cut into ¼ inch cubes
- 1¼ c milk
- ¾ c sour cream
- 3 T melted butter
- 1 egg, beaten
- Heat oven to 350 degrees. Spray a 9x5 loaf pan with cooking spray.
- In a bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, salt, pepper, cayenne and black pepper. Add cheese cubes and stir until covered in flour mixture.
- In a separate bowl, mix the milk, sour cream, melted butter, and egg. Stir the wet mixture into the flour and cheese mixture until just combined.
- Spread dough in your prepared loaf pan. Bake for 45-50 minutes. Let cool 10 minutes and then remove from pan. Allow to cool for one hour before slicing and serving.
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“It barfed up some of the cheddar.” “Deer were crashing through the door” “Demon cat be snorting that cayenne …” I was laughing so hard I almost couldn’t get through the rest of the recipe. Another wonderful Monday morning at DCEP… Thanks!!
It really did look like it barfed up the cheddar! That’s why I didn’t put any pictures of mine up there. And I’m glad you got a few Monday morning chuckles – everybody needs that on Mondays. 🙂
Me too! Robyn had me in stitches! I sure hope Fred doesn’t read this blog! Ha!
Dammit, Fred! Why are you messing with the bread? Messing up the bread is a pretty darn close to a capital offense around here. Pro-tip from someone with family members who like to doctor food with vile concoctions? Make them use a side cup for dipping ala the fanciest pizza joints that Amanda has never visited. Their nonsense will never touch my food again. Or, just ban him from the kitchen. Whatever works for you.
Like Nance, I have never been to a Red Lobster to enjoy this delicacy. But bread that barfs up cheese is worth trying out at least once.
I’m half tempted to try that boxed mix just to see if it’s different. I would rather do that than go to Red Lobster that’s for damn sure. Everybody tells me that they also serve chicken and beef, but I bet it all tastes like fish.
For some reason I am totally judging Red Lobster like it’s a half-step up from Long John Silvers! Proving that I am totally ignorant and need to shut my mouth since I have no idea what I’m talking about.
Amanda is totally judging me right now. Hell, she’s judging all of us.
Amanda is clasping you to her bosom and sobbing slow, happy tears in solidarity for your judgement of Red Lobster.
My sister hates seafood in all forms, and years ago we used to go pretty regularly; I’d get seafood, she’d get (non-seafood) appetizers, and we ate every biscuit we could get our paws on.
I do not want to be clasped to Amanda’s bosom. Put that thought right out of your mind, Robyn!
Poor Robyn’s sister. Living in Maine and hating seafood. Time to move to Pennsylvania and enjoy the hell out of our pierogies! 🙂
I actually like seafood, although I’ve never tried lobster. Amanda now knows me for the heathen that I am. While I’ve never been to Red Lobster, I *have* been to Long John Silvers (I know… I know… )
My friend Liz lives in Maine, and when she visits, we have to go to Long John Silver’s on the way home from the airport! (Actually… I don’t remember if it’s Long John Silver’s or Captain D’s, they’re the same to me.)
When I was a kid (OHMYHELL) we used to eat at Long John Silvers with my grandparents once in a while. I always ordered chicken. We had some last year because we were starving and there were three of us in that car that said, “Never again!”
My mom made a recipe like this from scratch, and while they were pretty good, they weren’t hugely popular (she did the biscuits, not the loaf). Then she bought the official mix and started making them, and they are soooo good. Anytime she’s making them, I try to make it a point to show up for dinner and mooch. That’s what I actually thought this recipe was going to be…just using the mix. Which would probably give Amanda an aneurysm.
Is she using the “real” Red Lobster biscuit mix? Or the other versions. If so, I might have to break down and try these damn things!
We do not want our dear Amanda to have an aneurysm! What we do without her critical thinking skills?
Shit. Maybe we need to both buy the official recipe and do another tandem post about it!
This could be in the cards because I’m thinking we should report everything there is to know about these mystery biscuits. Our jurnalism skilz r neded. 😛
for what it is worth, Maine ran Red Lobster out quite a while ago and it hasn’t bothered to come back. I mean really, who puts a “red lobster’ in Maine for goodness sake where small little lobster shacks are all over the place selling lobster that was walking at the bottom of the ocean that morning..
(and Nance, you aren’t alone.. I can’t stand seafood)
Just thinking about them crawling around in the bottom of their own toilets. Ugh. Gag.
You Mainers who don’t like seafood need to send it all to me, stat.
Why is just “Mainers” – you’re a racist, Robyn! 😉
Because Connie’s a Mainer!
You said, “You Mainers” meaning more than one – don’t even try that Connie’s a Mainer excuse, ADMIN.
Racist. TO THE CORE.
I WAS COUNTING MY SISTER IN THAT GROUP.
My parents lived in Maine for 20 years, and we referred to them (and other Maine residents) as Maine-iacs. 🙂
BTW, all my visits required at least several visits to this place:
I do not normally eat lobster, but I ate the hell out of their Lobster Stew (it was awesome). Same goes for their fried seafood. (Welcome to Fatty-fat central!)
Oh, I’ve never heard of that restaurant before – I’m going to have to check it out one day!
I love lobster stew so much. When I’m in Maine, my friend and I always make a run to The Seabasket in Wiscasset. SO GOOD.
Yep! That’s what the good seafood places are like. *sigh* Now I’m jonzing for Maine seafood.
Unfortunately, it’s a 12-hour drive, otherwise, I’d be going on a road-trip!
My parents used to take me to Long John Silver’s ALL THE TIME as a kid. I still have a fondness for paper pirate hats and hush puppies. When we were traveling, we took a road stop at a combined KFC and Long John Silver’s (I KNOW!!) to introduce the kids to hush puppies. Now they keep asking to go back. I have created monsters.
Oh, hush puppies! Damn, I forgot about those! They are truly fabulous and now I’m craving them. Thanks, Kelly. I wonder if you can order just the hush puppies minus that horrible other crap. Do you remember the extra crunchies people would ask for? I’m ashamed to say that my fat ass ate the hell out of them when I was younger. No pride!
I also remember my mouth having a coating of grease for a while after having eaten there, too. Gross. Ew.
OH MY GAWD! I completely forgot about the crunchy things. I not only devoured them, but slathered them with ketchup too. (And, yes I ordered chicken instead of fish. I think Long John Silver’s fish was the reason I didn’t eat fish for most of my childhood.)
BTW, Just in case you’re ever passing by and get the urge… you can order the hush puppies alone. I had to order more “to go” after the kids scarfed them all down like they were peanuts and demanded more.
I don’t know about anyone else but I am absolutely LOVING the fact that a blog post containing a bread recipe has turned into a discussion over who eats seafood and Long John Silvers. You get five stars for the conversation alone.
I always liked Long John Silvers, but there were two issues – one, the store to store quality was uneven, so if you got one that cut corners it was really bad, and second, the stuff got cold before you could drive it home so you had to eat it there.
Interesting. I tried to make this same recipe at Easter and it was awful. Dry with pockets of flour. I did use shredded cheese instead of cubed because I am lazy, and our theory was that the shredded cheese somehow absorbed all the moisture.
BTW, Robyn, never use garlic salt for brushing like that. Garlic powder is what you need.
So we went back to our stand-by, perfect every time, Red Lobster knock off biscuits. Bisquick Cheese Garlic mix, prepared as on the box, with melted butter & garlic powder brushed on top. Tastes exactly the same, 40 times easier than this recipe.
Oh, Fred declared that we needed garlic salt because the salt would bring out the garlic taste or some ridiculous shit like that. Now that I think about it, he actually added both garlic salt AND powder. He’s still banned from the kitchen. BANNED, I say.
I had thought about using shredded cheese, I’m glad now that I didn’t.
And Bisquick is THE BOMB.
Also, I like how I declare that he’s banned as though he’s dying to get in there and make something. AS IF.
never been to Red Lobster either because:
1. I hate seafood- my father scarred me for life on lobster by letting live ones crawl around the kitchen like giant bugs when i was 6.
2. there are no Red Lobsters in Nova Scotia. plenty of other seafood restaurants,though. it IS Atlantic Canada, seafood central. blech.
I enjoyed the hell out of reading the recipe takes though! thanks!
Fred needs to stay out of the kitchen!.
1. Giant bugs. Nope. Cannot handle that picture in my brain.
2. But do you have a Long John Silvers?
And finally, Fred cannot stay out of the kitchen. He’s the one that created that 700 layer raspberry filled cake that I haven’t got to try yet! Which by the way, I could have tried when I was down there in December, but baker Fred was apparently not in the mood. Hmph.
hahah! nope, no Long John Silvers, no Cheesecake Factory, no Olive Garden. lots of fast food places, lots of really fine dining that is disgustingly expensive.
a lot of regular non franchise restaurants.
google nova scotia. it’s really pretty up here!
my dad was a great baker. he created this amaizing chocolate mouse cake when i was 18 that I’ve tried to recreate for yrs. my version is great, but not the level of his. my specialty is chocolate carrot cake
Chocolate mouse cake or mousse cake? Because I’m thinking you should send in that recipe for us to try, but only if it’s the chocolate mousse cake. I don’t want to be messing with any mice.
And I would starve in Nova Scotia if it was all fast food and expensive fine dining. But I guess I would be okay with exchanging cooking for living in a pretty place. Not a bad trade-off. 🙂
You know, when you live as close to the ocean as I do (hour and a half drive to Charleston – a foodie haven), in a state where the official dish is shrimp and grits (and we will judge the hell out of any version that is not our own!), you just don’t do Red Lobster. But for some reason they sent me a $10 gift card last week, and what was the first thing that came to my mind? Damn, I can go eat cheese biscuits!!! But now I can resist the temptation to put on a wig and dark glasses to venture to the Red Lobster and make this loaf instead. Bless you!! 😉
Get the guest room ready and Robyn and I will be visiting! I like the beach and she can have the seafood!
Why doesn’t anybody send me gift cards, dammit? Robyn, we’re going to stop mentioning these restaurants if we’re not getting anything out of it. Starting now. No more saying nice things about…oh. Carry on.
That works, because on closer inspection (damn these eyes that can’t read jack shit after I hit 40!!!) the gift card is actually for $10 off of two (TWO!) entrees… So they are forcing me to drag someone else to their fine establishment just to get $10 off and cheese biscuits! :p
Thanks to you guys, I am now craving some homemade bread or rolls and have no time to make any :P. And I’ve got soup in the crockpot for lunch, so it would be PERFECT. Unfortunately, I also have 35 dozen cookies to decorate (I do custom cookies as part of the business I run), so no non-cookie baking for me :/
Is that taco soup in your crock pot by any chance, Traci? I’m making some later this week! I really need to post the recipe so everyone can enjoy it!
You know it is! Hahaha… that’s just about the only soup I make in the crockpot these days! I mixed it up a bit this time because I didn’t have the patience to make my usual shredded chicken, so I used ground chicken and threw in some extra taco seasoning so it wouldn’t be bland. And it got extra enchilada sauce because I had a big can instead of a regular can. I may live to regret *that* particular decision, but we’ll see. And I didn’t have diced tomatoes, so it’s tomato-less. As you can tell, I’m a real stickler on recipes 😉
I need to send you guys the recipe for the breakfast casserole I just made… it was really good!
I’m making mine with turkey this week because we have a ton of it in the freezer and I need to get it used up. What I like about the recipe is that it’s so forgiving!!! (And I look forward to seeing the breakfast casserole recipe!)
Mmm… turkey! That’s a good idea. I just bought a smoker for my birthday and plan to make copious amounts of smoked turkey, so I’m gonna have to try that. I e-mailed that casserole recipe to the “makeit” e-mail address, so be on the look-out! 🙂
Taco soup and I never heard anything about this —- What kind of friend are you, Robyn? 🙁
Traci posted it on my FB page months ago. You’ll hear about when I post the recipe. 🙂
You act like I even read your FB page. Ha! Boring cats are still cats.
And also, sign your name, foolio. I don’t want anybody to think that’s me talking nonsense.
I am Nance and I am talking to myself.
I have purchased the official Red Lobster Cheddar Bay Biscuit Mix at my local Sam’s Club (sorry Nance) and the resulting biscuits are delicious. ALMOST as good as the ones you get at an actual Red Lobster Restaurant.
Well, it’s going to be all your fault if Robyn and I are not GAZILLIONaires by the end of this year. Hmph. Double hmph.
Nance – my Sam’s Club sells the Red Lobster Cheddar Bay Biscuit Mix for about $6 or so. Maybe yours does too and you could try it. They were pretty good although next time I won’t brush quite as much seasoned melted butter over them after they come out of the oven.
Tina, how is there such a thing as too much melted butter? What was it seasoned with?
I also got suckered into buying the Olive Garden salad dressing. Why does it taste great in the restaurant and horrible in the bottle??
I know, right? I had bought two bottles (Sam’s Club, dammit) and I was appalled that we actually threw both bottles in the garbage (one un-opened) because nobody in this house liked it. BOO!
I’m so glad I never bought that stuff – I’ve always been tempted, but we don’t eat that many salads, so I refrained.
OMG, I was laughing so hard through the Fred parts that my cats actually came to see what was going on. HA! This might be the best entry ever. Never doubt the impact of a well placed “fucker”. HAHAHAHA!
You got that right jen in NH !!!! I’m still giggling !!!!!!!!
Blow air into that shit until it looks like a pillow. Insert into fridge. Enjoy your stale-ass, dried-out food!
Good Nan, FTW!
I don’t know about anybody else, but I want that big coke bottle of money that Robyn has in the corner. Now that I know where she keeps all her loot, I’m gonna have to pay her a visit…when she’s not home. 😉
It’ll probably cost you more in gas to get it to the bank than there is in there. It’s mostly pennies ’cause Fred steals all the quarters to buy coffee at work. 🙂
So I made a fine dinner of hot dogs wrapped with cheese in crescent rolls. This is a recipe that came with my family from the old country. Anyway, the husband wondered if there there were enough ingredients and steps involved that Amanda would approve? How much do I love that?
I will try this bread. I was trying to find the recipe for the biscuits they serve at Ruby Tuesday and all I could find were the Red Lobster recipes. Hoosier girl here. Seafood is not on top of my list but I do remember eating at Arthur Treacher’s when I was a kid and loved it.
whats amusing about super foodies is that they can get just as excited about a “deconstructed hot dog” which is a wiener in the center of a plate, with a bun in one corner and a spot of mustard in the other corner, as long as it is a master chef doing it.
Hahahahahaha. Love this. I would guess a deconstructed hot dog goes for about $24.95 plus tip.
And people would LINE UP to pay for it! (PS: I wonder if Amanda knows she’s become a household touchstone for high-falutin’ snobbery!)
Oh, I loved Arthur Treacher’s! One actually went in at the end of our block in the 1970’s-they had some kind of breaded chicken sandwich, and put coleslaw and a delicious red sauce on it. I still think of that sometimes, it really was yummy. Plus, they had great French fries or did they call them chips?
Ahem, the recipe-I’ll look for the Red Lobster biscuit mix at Sam’s Club instead.
Would you believe I’d never heard of Arthur Treacher’s before, and this is the third time I’ve heard the name in the past two days? What’s that all about?
Oh I miss Arthur Treacher’s so much too! They did have fish and chips that I loved. I don’t mind Long John Silvers either. My husband had a guys’ weekend away recently in Snowshoe, PA and while everyone else was eating WaWa hoagies (subs or grinders to the non Pennsylvanians) he went to Long John Silvers. They did have a steaks on the grill night at their cabin too. He loves Seafood almost as much as steak. I love steak and burgers almost as much as Seafood. I love red lobster. My sister and I sneak off there sometimes. They are advertising a seafood pot pie special I am dying to try. They do have great appetizers and caesar salad in addition to the those killer biscuits. Pro tip-Golden Coral has cheddar biscuits like Red Lobster’s. Amanda is plotzing and dying at the idea of that buffet I am sure. It is a long drive for us so we rarely go but we like it, especially my husband. We love fine Seafood too. There is a restaurant in Somers Point, NJ called the Crab Trap. It is pricey but they have wonderful prime rib and chicken parm and other things for the non seafood fan. We go once a year for our anniversary or one of our birthdays. It’s about an hour and a half away but well worth the drive.The service is amazing too. I will eat seafood low class, high class you name it. My dad is a retired machinist and he helps several commercial fisherman with machining boat parts. He gets large bags of fresh sea scallops for a thank you sometimes. Getting invited over for those is the bomb!