Every week we’ll post a recipe that we both made. This week’s recipe was Baked Oatmeal, found over at I Am Baker. Printable recipe can be found at the bottom of this post.
This week’s recipe was Nance’s choice. Apparently Nance has a thing for oatmeal. I kinda like it too, even though I hardly ever eat it. I don’t know why I hardly ever eat it – it just never occurs to me, I guess.
Quick oats, brown sugar, white sugar, milk, melted butter, an egg, baking powder, peanut butter, salt, and a bottle of rum. Okay, that’s not rum – it’s homemade vanilla. I made it in bulk almost two years ago, and it is FABULOUS. I should make and market it. I could call it Fabunilla! I wonder if Teresa would sue me for jumping on the “Fabu” brand?
(Don’t get excited, I am NOT making and selling homemade vanilla, because there’s alcohol involved and all sorts of rules for the selling of such, and I’m sure I’d get tossed into the slammer and THEN who would scoop the litter boxes, I ask you?)
Also, the honey roasted peanut butter was the only kind I had on hand. That stuff is SO FREAKIN’ GOOD on a blueberry bagel.
The recipe mentioned that you can bake the oatmeal in an 8×8 pan or a 9×13 pan depending on your preferences, so I decided to try it both ways since it was such a simple recipe.
Throw everything in a bowl and mix it up. Wow, that’s difficult, huh?
Dump everything into a baking pan. The recipe didn’t say anything about greasing the pan, but I figured it was better to be safe, so I coated both pans with Baker’s Joy.
The 8×8 pan above, the 9×13 below.
Pop ’em in the oven, set the timer for 20 minutes, then start cleaning up the kitchen.
Inspector Magoo wandered into the picture a little late, but was willing to pitch in on cleanup duty.
It actually took about 25 minutes for my baked oatmeal(s) to turn brown around the edges.
Above, the 8×8. Below, the 9×13.
The bar from the 9×13 pan in the front, the 8×8 bar in the back. I took a bite of each. The verdict?
They were both good, but I slightly preferred the 9×13 bar. I ate it with a scoop of chunky caramel-apple jam.
Inspector Magoo was not impressed with the jam, but I gave him a few crumbs of the baked oatmeal, and he thought it was just fine.
Will I make this again? Yeah, probably. It’s super simple to make, and all the ingredients are standards in my pantry. Next time I’ll likely toss a handful of dried blueberries in, because I love those things. Chocolate chips might be good, too.
Fred, however, did not care for them at all. Something about the texture did not please his palate. I fed the 8×8 pan to the chickens, and kept about half the 9×13 pan for eating with breakfast throughout the week. The pigs got the other half of the 9×13 pan, but I’m wishing I’d kept those for myself, too!
Robyn already warned me that I had better up my game with this entry because she said that her recipe story was boring. What the fuck with the pressure, Robyn? Stress makes my head hurt and what she did is rude because now I’m going to have to break out a family secret regarding oatmeal.
My mother (Shirley) is well-known for two things…
1. She’s an incredibly hard worker. I come from a long line of bust-your-ass worker bees (which is why I can’t relax to save my life, thanks mom!).
2. She is a very fun/nice person. She’s the one that carries on at the parties (and funeral homes, OHMYGAWD) and is always joking around and laughing, blahblahblah.
Okay, three things, but I’m not going to get into that tube-top/sweatpant business here. Hee!
My mother had an aunt that was very, very poor and this very, very poor aunt always (ALWAYS) cooked oatmeal. She had it for every single meal. Baked, boiled and fried (no lie). Apparently she wasn’t that much into house cleaning because they called this aunt Dirty Gert. Are y’all horrified by this yet? Because I certainly am. They called their aunt Dirty Gert!
Years ago, Shirley was at our family reunion carrying on like she is wont to do. She was having a good ol’ time getting in her yuk-yuks about Dirty Gert and wondering (OUT LOUD) if Dirty Gert’s covered dish would be something made with oatmeal. Yeah, my mother is an ASSHOLE, people. A little while later Dirty Gert arrived at the reunion with her family. She didn’t bring a covered dish…because she was on the receiving end of a horrible stroke that left her in very bad shape. My mother felt like shit. AS SHE SHOULD HAVE. And that is why any time oatmeal is mentioned in this house we always think of my mother’s aunt, Dirty Gert, and we also remember the time my mother really, really stepped in dog shit. The end.
So now you know what I was thinking about when I started to make this recipe. Dirty Gert, for the win! I was also thinking that I couldn’t believe I was making baked oatmeal. At 8 o’clock at night. What? I’m the procrastinating queen! Thankfully, this was a one bowl kind of deal.
Am I the only one that scrapes their spatula off on the side of the bowl? I’m almost positive that no self-respecting food blogger would show this, but I never said I was one of those people. Shout-out to the foodie/food snobs! I bet this makes you nervous! Also: Polish Pottery!
I mixed it up (by hand, no mixer necessary) and threw it into a well greased 9 x 13 pan. It didn’t say to do it, but I wasn’t in the mood to be scrubbing cookware. I used the 9 x 13 pan because the recipe mentioned granola bars and I was all in. I might have made the granola bar part up in my head, but whatever. I was hopeful. And also…
My 8 x 8 dish was otherwise occupied. Felina thinks she’s a super-star now and is obviously trying to force her way into the fame that comes with this site (ha!). Go away, you googly-eyed ugly dog! You can’t cook and you don’t clean. What the hell good are you?
Man, I’m in trouble if Shirley reads this entry. Not because of Dirty Gert, but because I said bad things about the baaaaaaaby. Sigh.
Truth Game: I didn’t have much faith in this recipe so I also made a pan of brownies at the same time.
If you have a chance to buy this pan for brownies, DO IT. It gives you those great edges and OHMYHELL, I LOVE IT. Another Truth Game: Robyn got this for one of my birthdays because she knows I like this kind of stuff and won’t get it for myself. Robyn’s super cool that way.
Back to the Baked Oatmeal. This is what it came out like.
And this is after they were cooled and cut. They weren’t exactly a granola bar like I thought they would be. It was more like flat oatmeal cake, minus the flavor.
My mother, the niece of Dirty Gert, LOVED IT. RAVED ABOUT IT. PLANS ON MAKING IT AND TAKING IT TO FAMILY GET TOGETHERS. I can’t even with this woman.
And this, in my humble opinion, is how I feel it should be served.
- 1-1/2 cups quick cooking oats
- ¼ cup packed brown sugar
- ¼ cup white sugar
- ¾ cup milk
- ¼ cup melted butter
- 1 egg
- 1 tsp baking powder
- ¾ tsp salt
- 1 tsp vanilla
- ½ cup peanut butter
- Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
- Put all the ingredients is a bowl and mix until combined.
- Use an 8x8 baking dish for thicker (softer) bars; use a 9x13 for thinner (less gooey) bars.
- Cook for 20-25 minutes or until edges are golden brown.
FRIED oatmeal? Seriously, I think that needs to be a future recipe. 🙂
Dude, no lie, I totally blamed you for this recipe and had no idea that I picked it! I was bitching about YOU last night and was all, “Who in the fuck wants BAKED OATMEAL – there’s something wrong with that girl”
OMG, I just realized that I’m NOT adopted. FUCK!
HAAAAAAAAAA – now, why does that not surprise me?! 🙂
*I* don’t know how to make fried oatmeal! And I’m pretty sure Dirty Gert didn’t write down a recipe. Maybe Shirley knows! 😉
Time for a Cooking with Shirley segment! 🙂
I bet I could get her to do it…especially if I tell her that we “NEED” her. Poor Dirty Gert is long dead and my mother was justifying and smack-talkin’ the woman’s children this morning! Shirley has serious issues with dirty people, man. I was just telling her to shut the hell up because hello, KARMA.
Good Christ, I have a headache!
Google came up with 5 million hits for “Fried Oatmeal Recipe”
Are you kidding me? Heh, maybe Dirty Gert was onto something back in the day.
Shit, I see fried oatmeal in my future now because my MOTHER READS these damn comments! Thanks a bunch, Oldcat! 😉
Have you ever picked up a big fat chocolate chip cookie only to take a bite into it and realize it’s an oatmeal cookie with raisins? This recipe brings back bad child hood memories and my deep fear of oatmeal anything!
I have, as a lover of all things bad for you, done that exact same thing! The disappointment in finding a raisin (ew, health food) instead of chocolate is unbelievable!
Now, I actually like oatmeal raisin cookies and will choose them over chocolate chip cookies. But only because chocolate chip cookies give me horrible heartburn (I’m sure it could have nothing to do with the shit-ton of them that I eat, heh).
Oh, I hate that SO much. I am no fan of raisins in cookies – in fact, just about the only place I like raisins is in Bran Flakes. Cookies with raisins should be required by law to sport warning stickers.
How can you be such a raisin hater and still like them in Bran Flakes (and also, HELLO OLD LADY WHO NEEDS FIBER)?
Actually, I said Raisin Bran, but what I meant to say was Raisin Nut Bran. Something about the nut coating on those raisins negates the nastiness of raisins. Or something. 🙂
Fiber is your friend!
Good God, are you doing a commercial for the AARP members? 😉
Look, you. Big Macs don’t work for everyone! 😛
Ha! The last time I tried my Big Mac as Constipation Relief trick, it FAILED. So, I ate a shitty Big Mac that tasted like crap and was still constipated. Maybe I need to try Metamucil since I’m not a cereal fan.
Good Christ, are we really talking about this?
Hey, when you reach a certain age, everything comes back to poo. 🙂
I don’t like the surprise of finding one in the middle hiding. I like raisins fine if they are out in the open and not sneaking about.
I have a story why but it isn’t fit for a food blog.
I pretty much have to book mark this whole conversation
10/10 would read again…
Oldcat you gave me a splendid idea to trick my co-workers with. Think I’m going to bring in a batch of chocolate chip cookies with a few hidden oatmeal raisin lurkers!
Robyn, please advise on the delicious-sounding chunky caramel-apple jam. Is it your own creation or can the most idle of individuals buy it? Thanks, R & N, for another funfest!
I made and canned that myself, using this recipe: http://chickensintheroad.com/cooking/caramel-apple-jam-spiced-applesauce/
Instead of using applesauce, though, I chopped the apple in small chunks. I prefer it chunky to smooth. 🙂
Oh, I think I have a jar of yours and now I’m going to go try it on the oatmeal bar/cake/whatever the fuck you call it!
Quite right, too, Robyn! Smooth is for operators only. I’m hoping that either Dandelion or Purslane will be dragooned into serving as next week’s inspector. And Nance, surely your grown cats need to be taken off the unemployment rolls and start some serious investigations into your kitchen practices.
What makes you think my cats are on the unemployment rolls? I’ll have you know that my cats are unable to investigate my kitchen practices because they are down in the basement doing MY LAUNDRY! :O
Thank you for my first genuine laugh of the day, Nance (I fear there were a few highly inauthentic chortles at the office…). And I so look forward to your YouTube vid of those intensely hard-working felines going viral.
How do I get my cats to do laundry?!?!?!?????
Please!! Let me know!!!!!!! Those little bastards just lie around all day furring up the place and expecting me to give them treats for free!!!
My cats do the ‘ironing’ for me. I fold T shirts in the basket and cover it with an old towel and when they sleep on top it crushes the wrinkles flat.
Hmmmph! You obviously don’t have a digger! My Sweetpea has to dig and arrange and turn around and around until things are disarranged just right for the time of day, alignment of the stars and the temperature!
My kids don’t like traditional oatmeal, but they do like oatmeal cookies and of course they love cake of all sorts. I will have to give this a try… always looking for “quick” breakfast items for the 13-year-old bottomless pit (taller than his father and all limbs apparently hollow).
I already stole “Cedric” from Robyn’s Love and Hisses post today. Now I think we shall have to add “Gert” and “Shirley” to the foster kitten name list. Imagine the fun of a kitten called “Dirty Gert” 🙂
OHMYGAWD, naming a kitten after Dirty Gert is priceless. Seriously, Robyn. Give the name to the one that is the filthiest (litter box problems? Hee!).
And Kelly, you are an evil genius! 😉
Nance, I foster too so if Robyn won’t (or can’t if the name has already been used) I will name a kitten Gert. There will be lots and lots of pictures too. 🙂
Gert and Shirley would be some awesome kitten names. Dirty Gert and Tube-Top Shirley. HA.
You’re going to really shit when I feature Felina cooking in her tube-top!
And Kelly, let me know when you name them because that will be hysterical. And my twisted mother will probably be proud!
Wait, Felina has a tube top? Just when I thought this blog couldn’t get any better…
Felina does not have a tube-top…yet. But it’s just a matter of time (I haz sewin’ mashen).
Oh PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE use your mad sewing skillz to make Inspector Felina a tube top! I am beating on the table with laughter at the thought! I LOVE Inspector Felina. She must not be replaced!
I have that same brownie pan and it is the best!
I know, right? I love it!
I’ve seen a similar one that has an metal insert like those old time metal ice cube tray so that all 4 sides are ‘edgy’.
I kind of like the infinite snake brownie idea though.
Best brownie pan ever!!!
Saw it at ThinkGeek.com years ago and asked for it from my husband for Christmas, didn’t get it, then my birthday, didn’t get it and then for both events for the next couple years. Like you I just couldn’t get it for myself. That’s just silly. Finally two years ago I got it from my stepmother-in-law. They ask us for a list every year and my husband finally remembered to add it to my list.
Earlier this year my mother-in-law bought one at a thrift store for 2 bucks, considering it sells for 30, she got a huge bargain.
I hardly ever made brownies before that pan now I make ’em a couple times a month.
There’s a lasagna pan like that as well, only larger of course. But since I don’t make lasagna I’ve never bought it. Told my brother he should though, he hasn’t, oh well.
Robyn’s also the reason that I have the giant cupcake pan (that I used to torture Alex with when I made him a rainbow my little pony cake for his 24th birthday). I haven’t heard of the lasagna pan, I’m going to have to go google.
I can’t imagine why anyone would give away that brownie pan to the thrift store, but good score for your MIL!
How about a rainbow My Little Pony cake for a 14 year old boy’s birthday? I agree 24 was probably way more fun, but I figure I’ll forget before then 😉
That could either be a great idea or a disaster. 14 year old boys can be um, sensitive (holy shit, I have threatened to put Midol in my boys food – hee). If your 14 year old has a great sense of humor, GO FOR IT. It really was great fun to do that to Alex and he loved how ridiculous we made his birthday.
Despite liking oatmeal (and with things in it – raisins, cranberries, yum), I doubt I would make this (for that much sugar, I need it dipped in chocolate). But I love the picture of Felina in a pan. She is hilarious, and I am not a lover of small dogs. You can just see she has loads of personality. And equal opportunity kudos for Magoo and his inspection duties – he totally looks like he is sampling the jam.
Nance, the pictures look great! And eapecially the polish pottery.
Suzy, I love all dogs, but I have to confess that I never liked chihuahuas. They’re yappy little assholes and annoying as hell as far as I’m concerned. But I did find out one thing – they are incredibly fun and loving dogs – WHEN they are around family only (they’re incredibly loyal dogs)…but when we have company…UGH. They are insane with the barking and everybody that walks in this house has to actually HOLD OUR GODDAMN DOG in order to shut her up. She’s insane and it’s ridiculous how she will sit there in their arms like a princess when all anybody wants to do is shut her the hell up.
And now that I said all that – I agree with you on the sugar. I wasn’t willing to use my Splenda & Brown Sugar Splenda in it because I wasn’t sure it would work.
My best friend has a Chuweenie-Doxie/Chihuahua mix and he has to be held too. I will have to tell her it’s a Chihuahua trait.
This looks like a good recipe for my grandson to make. One bowl, basic ingredients and fairly good for you. I am winging it because I had three girls. I just don’t want him to turn out to be one of those helpless males.
AMEN, Erin. In this house, we were guilty of just “doing it” for the boys (myself and my mother especially) because it was easiest. The result? They can make simple things (well, Alex is supposedly better, but I have never eaten anything that he made) like egg sandwiches, etc., but we really failed at that. I’m hoping to change it with Trey now, but again, just easier for the females to do it ourselves (and the clean up is a lot easier because whew, the guys in this house are MESSY).
DO NOT DO what I did. Teach him to do his own laundry too. 😉
And to clean the bathroom – and dust, too! 🙂
And while you’re at it, have them learn to run the sweeper the correct way AND teach that they should wash the dishes the SAME DAY that they use ’em! I can’t stand to see dirty dishes sitting in a sink (my personal pet peeve, of which I have many). 😀
I think I’d settle for him picking up his dirty clothes from the bathroom floor, but YES… dishes, laundry, everything!!! I *teach* him how but I SWEAR he screws up on purpose so I won’t ask him again.
I have to pin the picutre of Felina in the pan. Best chihuahua picture ever!!!
Felina says, “Of course it’s the best picture…every picture taken of me is the best, but thank you anyway.”
She’s such an asshole. 😉
I cannot abide by this dissing of Felina. She is not an asshole. She is one of the cutest dogs EVER! 🙂
Pictures of Felina in pans or baking dishes-the gifts that just keep giving. Every time I see them they make me laugh. I would love a Cooking With Shirley segment, that would be great. I hope you can talk her into doing something. The recipe looks really yummy too-my husband and daughter are big fans of oatmeal, I think this might be a good addition to the Thanksgiving weekend food rotation.
Y’all are so twisted for liking those pictures. It’s a DOG, in COOKWARE. Think about how unsanitary that is. A DOG. IN MY DISHES. And then I have to stop everything and clean what was a clean dish (until I put a DOG in there)!
But I’m glad they make you laugh.
I will talk Shirley into something one of these days…but I’m telling you right now, Cooking With Shirley will NOT feature her tube-top. You’re WELCOME.
Maybe a flesh colored t-shirt with a tube top over it? Matching tube tops for Shirley and Felina?!
Do you make your homemade vanilla with rum? The recipe I found calls for vodka…..I think I got the link from ya’ll….
I usually use vodka – and the recipe I linked to uses vodka – but you can use rum or bourbon, too. This was the first time I used rum, and it’s good, but I think that the kind made with vodka has a stronger vanilla flavor. Next time I need to make vanilla, I’ll use vodka.
Not an oatmeal lover but this was one of the funniest DCEP posts ever! Dirty Gertie was killing me. Poor Shirley. I’e opened mouth and inserted foot plenty of times in the past too!
My sister and her kids like oatmeal cookies. She makes them with chocolate covered raisins and they are supposed to be good. I won’t eat them to find out. I just don’t like the taste of oatmeal.