Cajun Coleslaw

Yes, this is the point in the week where you’d expect to see a tandem recipe posted, but this week you’ll have to wait a few more days. There WILL be a tandem recipe this week, but it’ll be up later in the week.

‘Til then, you’ll just have to put up with me.

Several years ago, Fred’s mother made this really good coleslaw for a family function, and we liked it so much that Fred asked for the recipe. It was originally created by some Cajun guy named Justin Wilson and I don’t know if Fred’s mother made some changes, or if the changes were made before the recipe got to her, but what I’m saying is that this isn’t exactly his recipe but it’s pretty close. Got it?

It’s coleslaw with a kick, is how I always describe it. It’s not hot – it does have hot sauce in it, but not enough to make it painful. Honestly, if cabbage and red onion are not your thing, you should probably go ahead and skip this. But if you don’t get that “Ewww, coleslaw!” look off your face, I’ma come slap it off for you. JUST SAYING.

It’s pretty easy to throw together, but you need to keep in mind that it needs to sit before it’s ready to be eaten. The recipe says that it should sit for at least an hour, but I’d recommend making it the day before. The longer it sits, the better it is.

Your ingredients:

Coleslaw (1)

Shredded cabbage, 1 large red onion, Durkee Famous Sauce (more on that in a minute), mayo, olive oil (not shown), red wine vinegar, hot sauce, ketchup, garlic salt, and lemon juice.

About the Durkee Famous Sauce. I think that maybe Durkee is a little too impressed with themselves, because I don’t think it’s really all THAT famous. It’s like, nice ego you’ve got there, Durkee. I’d never heard of this supposed “famous” sauce before this recipe. It’s a pain in the ass to find at the store because it’s located in the condiments aisle, stuffed in there among the tartar sauce and cocktail sauce and all that other shit no one ever uses. You can look for a copycat recipe that would be perfectly fine, I’m sure, or you could just use some Dijon mustard, and I expect it would be just as good. This is what the Durkee Famous Sauce looks like, just so you know.

Also, about the cabbage. The recipe calls for 1 head of cabbage, shredded. I opt to make life easier for myself, and buy two 10-ounce bags of preshredded cabbage. It’s the perfect amount, AND I don’t have to haul out the food processor.

Put your cabbage in a bowl (preferably one with a lid, because you’re going to stick the bowl in the fridge when you’re done.)

Coleslaw (3)

Inspector Brandon, inspecting.

Slice your red onion in thin slices. I cut my onion in half before slicing it, because  I think that the smaller the pieces of onion are, the more they’ll be distributed throughout the coleslaw. It’s a preference thing, really.

Coleslaw (2)

Inspector Brandon thinks those onions could have been sliced a wee bit thinner, but he hates onion so he just needs to shut up.

Mix all your dressing ingredients together. I use a 2-cup measuring cup to do the mixing, because everything fits nicely, and it makes pouring it over the cabbage and onion less messy.

Coleslaw (4)

Coleslaw (5)

Inspector Arya takes a deep, deep sniff.

Pour your dressing over your cabbage and onions.

Coleslaw (6)

Using a rubber spatula or a big spoon, mix everything together. Don’t worry about making sure that there’s dressing on every single piece of cabbage and onion – once it’s been in the fridge for a couple of hours, the cabbage will wilt a bit, making it easier to stir everything together.

Coleslaw (7)

Like I said up there, you can serve the coleslaw after an hour, but I very much recommend letting it sit at least overnight. It’s way better that way.

Coleslaw (8)

YUM.

Cajun Coleslaw
 
Prep time
Cook time
Total time
 
Original Source/Author:
: Side Dish
Cuisine: Cajun!
Serves: 12ish
Ingredients
  • 1 cabbage, shredded (or 2 10-ounce bags of preshredded cabbage)
  • 1 large red onion, sliced in thin rings (or cut in half and then sliced in thin slices)
  • 2 T. Durkee Famous Sauce (or Dijon mustard as a substitute)
  • ⅓ c. mayo (we use reduced-fat)
  • 2 T olive oil
  • 1 T red wine vinegar
  • ½ tsp hot sauce (we use Tabasco)
  • 2 T ketchup
  • ½ - 1 tsp garlic salt
  • 3 T lemon juice (or juice of 1 lemon)
Instructions
  1. Mix dressing ingredients and pour over cabbage and red onion. Mix to coat the cabbage and red onion. Let sit for at least one hour (preferably overnight) before serving.

 

Crock Pot Honey Sesame Chicken – Nance and Robyn make the same recipe.

Every week we’ll post a recipe that we both made. This week’s recipe was Crock Pot Honey Sesame Chicken. Printable recipe can be found at the bottom of this post.  The original recipe can be found over at Very Culinary.

Robyn’s Take:

This week’s recipe was my choice. I don’t remember where I initially saw it (probably Pinterest, that seems to be where 95% of my recipes are spotted these days), but I do know that it was one of the recipes Fred picked out as one he’d be willing to eat. Also, it’s a crock pot recipe, and anything I can toss into a crock pot and ignore all day is aces.

Your ingredients:

CrockpotChicken01

Boneless, skinless chicken thighs (remember how just a few weeks ago we made chicken breasts in the crock pot and they were dry as hell? I swear to god, I’m never making breasts in the crock pot again. What a waste.), honey, salt and pepper, soy sauce, diced onion, ketchup, olive oil, garlic, red pepper flakes, cornstarch, sesame seeds, scallions.

Damn. That’s a bunch of ingredients, isn’t it? You know Amanda is swelling up with thrilled amazement at all those ingredients. And not a box of cake mix in sight!

Put your chicken thighs in the crock pot, then sprinkle ’em with salt and pepper. If you WANT to season both sides of the thighs with salt and pepper before you put them in there, you certainly may. That’s kind of overkill, though, don’t you think? No one needs that much salt and pepper.

CrockpotChicken02

In a bowl, combine your soy sauce, honey, onion, ketchup, oil, garlic, and pepper flakes. I used a 4-cup measuring cup, because everything fit nicely and it was easy to dump it all over the chicken without making a mess.

CrockpotChicken03

Dump it over your chicken.

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Make sure the chicken is evenly coated.

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Then put the cover on and cook it on low for 4 hours. I meant to clean the house while it was cooking, but… nah. Why not take a nap on the couch with a bunch of kittens instead, AM I RIGHT?

When the chicken is done, remove it from the crock pot, leaving the sauce in the crock pot. Dissolve cornstarch in water, stir it into the sauce in the crock pot, then replace the lid and cook on high for 10 more minutes or until it’s slightly thickened. Now, I let mine cook for more like 20 minutes and there was never any thickening that I could tell, so I’m skeptical how necessary this particular step is.

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Shred chicken into bite-sized pieces – which should be pretty simple, since the chicken is pretty much falling apart at this point.

CrockpotChicken08

CrockpotChicken09
Ruth came up to keep me company while I was chopping the scallions. She was amazed at the sight of all that chicken, so I eventually had to banish her from the counter lest she figure out how to get to it, whereupon she would slobber all over it and then I’d get cat cooties.

Spoon some cooked rice onto a plate (I think cooked spaghetti or angel hair would work, too), top with chicken, top THAT with some of the (un)thickened sauce, then sprinkle sesame seeds and chopped scallions on top.

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The verdict? Damn it was good! We ate every last bite, and I will absolutely make it again. I’m wondering if the apricot chicken recipe would have worked out better if we’d used chicken thighs instead of chicken breasts. Mind you, I’m not curious enough about that to actually give it a try, I’m just wondering.

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Have a recipe you want us to make? Check out this page (there’s also a link to that page up there under the banner) and follow the instructions to submit a recipe!

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Nance’s Take:
Psst, let me tell you something about Robyn…she has a thing for any kind of asian inspired food out there and she thinks I haven’t noticed it.  I noticed that shit the first time I ever met her and she ordered an oriental salad at Applebee’s Restaurant. I’m on to you, Robyn. Cut yo’ shit.

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I washed these damn things, patted them dry, and sprinkled a shit-ton of pepper and salt on them…before I looked at the recipe and realized they were suppose to be boneless/skinless chicken thighs. Really?

DAMMIT, ROBYN.

Honey Sesame Chicken (Crockpot)

Here’s where y’all can call me a pussy, but I was not about to go digging into chicken flesh and such without cooking it first. I just cannot go there and shut-up right now, Fred Anderson!

Honey Sesame Chicken (Crockpot)

I planned on using two different cooking utensils.  This is me showing you the two things I planned on using because I had nothing better to take a picture of.

Honey Sesame Chicken (Crockpot)

I am severely right-handed and ended up just throwing on gloves and ripping the shit out of that meat.  Also note the lack of crock-pot.  I originally thought I would toss this bitch together, cook it for 4 hours and have it ready in time for dinner.  But cooking and shucking that chicken took more than a minute so I had to come up with Plan B.  I may have dawdled a little.  Hush.

Honey Sesame Chicken (Crockpot)

Because I like to share the pain here’s a picture of Peace eating something gross. Dog food, bread and chicken broth. We’re guessing from her palate that Peace was brought up on garbage food/table scraps.  Shirley has gotten her to eat regular dog food by adding bread to it, but on this day Peace wasn’t having it.  My secret weapon?  Chicken broth.  It’s a lovely visual, huh?

You’re welcome.

Honey Sesame Chicken (Crockpot)

Waldo, always keeping an eye on his buddy.  I love how long and outrageous his whiskers are.

Honey Sesame Chicken (Crockpot)

Feed the dog. Make a soup. Whatever.

Honey Sesame Chicken (Crockpot)

When I first saw the recipe I was bitching about having to buy sesame seeds when I only needed 1/2 of a tablespoon. Shirley suggested I “scrape some off of a bun” which made me laugh, but we don’t even buy sesame seed buns. I decided that I just wasn’t going to use sesame seeds, but Shirley took pity on me when she was at the grocery store and picked them up. She also bought nutmeg. I’m not exactly sure why because we have nutmeg, but I suppose you can never have too much nutmeg, right?

Honey Sesame Chicken (Crockpot)

I threw everything together and tossed it in the oven. This picture? If you look closely, you’ll see that it was literally in the oven when I took the picture. I was so over this recipe.

Honey Sesame Chicken (Crockpot)

This is what it looked like when I got it out of the oven. I skipped the entire part where it said to add cornstarch and all that bullshit because there didn’t appear to be much juice for thickening anyway.  I may or may not have forgot about this damn thing in the oven because I was busy talking to Rick on the telephone.  What?  Attention Deficit, mofos.  It can happen to you!

Honey Sesame Chicken (Crockpot)

There’s your fucking sesame seeds, Robyn.

Honey Sesame Chicken (Crockpot)

Rick said it was fantastic. Shirley wasn’t home that night. Trey was at work. I ate a 99 cent frozen pizza.

Are you picking up what I’m laying down?

Crock Pot Honey Sesame Chicken - Nance and Robyn make the same recipe.
 
Prep time
Cook time
Total time
 
: Entree
Cuisine: Asian. DUH. It's got soy sauce in it!
Serves: 4
Ingredients
  • 5 boneless, skinless chicken thighs (approx. 1½ lbs)
  • salt and pepper
  • 1 c. honey
  • ½ c. soy sauce (I use low sodium)
  • ½ c. diced onion
  • ¼ c. ketchup
  • 2 T. vegetable or olive oil
  • 2 cloves minced garlic
  • ¼ tsp red pepper flakes
  • 4 tsp cornstarch dissolved in 6 T water
  • ½ T (or more) sesame seeds
  • 3 chopped scallions
Instructions
  1. Put chicken in the crock pot and lightly season with salt and pepper.
  2. In a medium bowl mix honey, soy sauce, onion, ketchup, oil, garlic, and red pepper flakes. Pour over chicken. Put lid on crock pot and cook on low for 4 hours.
  3. Remove cooked chicken from crock pot and leave sauce. Dissolve 4 tsp of cornstarch in 6 T of water and stir into sauce. Cover with lid and cook on high for 10 minutes or until sauce is slightly thickened.
  4. Shred chicken into bite-sized pieces. Spoon cooked rice (cooked spaghetti or angel hair would also be good) into a bowl. Top with cooked, shredded chicken, spoon sauce over the top, and then top with sesame seeds and chopped scallions.

 

Cake Batter Cracker Dip – Nance and Robyn make the same recipe

Every week we’ll post a recipe that we both made. This week’s recipe was Cake Batter Cracker Dip. Printable recipe can be found at the bottom of this post.  The original recipe can be found over at Mommy’s Menu.

Robyn’s Take:

This week’s recipe was Nance’s choice, and I have no idea where she stumbled across it, but I’m going to predict that it’s Pinterest’s fault. Also, I suspect that she thought to herself “What can we make that will make the top of Amanda’s head pop off?” This fits the bill perfectly. That Nance just loves to bait Amanda.

When I told Fred what I was making, he was THE USUAL RAY OF SUNSHINE and whined about how it was going to be “Groooooooooss, that sounds grooooosssss, what the fuck, grooooosssss.” As it turns out, he was thinking of crackers like Ritz and Triscuits, and trying to figure out who the hell would eat some kind of sweet dip on those crackers.

(I would TOTALLY eat sweet dip on Ritzeseses, I’ve served Jalapeno Jelly with Ritz crackers and cream cheese approximately one million times, so this weird belief that salty and sweet don’t go together is ODD.)

Your ingredients:

Cracker Dip (1)

If the box of cake mix doesn’t send Amanda into conniptions, the container of Cool Whip surely will. All you need is a box of cake mix (whatever flavor you prefer), Cool Whip (I got the big container, but you only need two cups), plain or vanilla yogurt, and powdered sugar (that’s what’s in that big storage container. We loves our powdered sugar.)

Toss all your ingredients into a plastic container (you’re going to be refrigerating this stuff for a while). I added 2 Tablespoons of powdered sugar, and that was just right.

Cracker Dip (2)

Mix everything together.

Cracker Dip (3)

I started out using a fork, but cake mix tends to clump together (STUPID CAKE MIX), so I ended up getting out the cheap handheld mixer from the very back of the cabinet (such a pain in the ass to get to) and mixing it together that way. Once it was mixed, I put the cover on the container and tossed it in the fridge for a couple of hours.

Just so you know, the stuff tastes kind of nothing-special right after you’ve mixed it up, so you really do need to let it sit in the fridge for at least an hour to let the flavors mingle.

When the hour is up, spoon the dip into a dish, serve with animal crackers and ‘Nilla wafers. Graham crackers would have been good, too, if yours aren’t stale. Mine were stale. Bleh.

Cracker Dip (4)

The verdict? It was really good. Fred thought it was “weird”, but he can just shut his face. I thought it was DAMN good. I felt like I ate 60 pounds of this stuff, but still had as much left over. The left overs finally went to the chickens (so I’d stop eating it!), and they thought it was THE BOMB.

Cracker Dip (5)

The cats, however, were not fans. This is Scorch – he took a lick of the dip, just to be polite, then he swore that he was “SO FULL!” after that one tiny lick. Hmph. MORE FOR ME, you damn picky kitten.

So anyway, two thumbs up from me, a “Meh” from Fred, a “Meh” from the cats, and the chickens were all “GIVE US MORE.” But then, the chickens say that about everything. They’re not picky.

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Nance’s Take:
If I had to pick between a piece of pie or a piece of cake, I’m going with the pie. Why? Because I am a coffee drinker and in my world there is nothing better than a slice of pie along with a nice hot cup of coffee (Jacobs Krönung is our favorite). And I can justify pie as being healthy because fruit is the main ingredient.

So why didn’t any of you fuckers submit a recipe for peach pie?  DAMN YOU.

Okay, this doesn’t mean that I do not like cake. I like cake well enough.  And it is easier to make than pie.  I picked this recipe because my truth when it comes to cake is that I am all about eating the batter. You know that whole warning about eating raw eggs? Yeah. Does not and never has stopped me from eating the shit out of the batter when I make a cake. To me, it is the very best part of cake baking.

Cake Batter Dip

Please note: Sugar-free cake mix. I don’t normally buy sugar-free, but this was on sale and I thought I would give it a shot. I also bought that brand of yogurt up there because it was cheaper than my absolute favorite yogurt which is Fage®.

The recipe itself was a piece of cake (har-dee-har!) to make and I was all over that because I was busy doing very important things like sewing.

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Peace needed a “cone of shame” so she would be able to heal better.  I thought a hard plastic cone was mean so I attempted to sew my own fabric cone for her. My attempt was not appreciated.  At all.

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And Sadie has some incontinence issues that needed to be addressed. Sadie did not mind because she doesn’t care that she looks like Hot Topic® threw-up on her.  She’s also plus-size (translation: bigger than x-large doggie diapers) and had to have something custom-made for her so she thinks she’s mad fancy now.*

Cake Batter Dip

The recipe said to combine all the ingredients in a bowl and mix. How hard can that be, right?

Cake Batter Dip

Action shot! Although I don’t know how much of an action shot it really is seeing as how I just slowly leaned that bitch into the whipped cream. Even my dum-dum eyes could tell that things were looking pretty dry in that bowl.

Cake Batter Dip

My super-duper mother of a mixer was having one helluva time combining those ingredients. I went ahead and added the rest of the whipped cream from the container and some vanilla to moisten that shit up.

Cake Batter Dip

Truth Game:  I would not have had this type of photo if I were making a normal cake because I would’ve been too busy licking the beaters.  I suppose this fact could also be considered foreshadowing.

Cake Batter Dip

I was finally able to get everything combined.  And I told myself that it had to be that thick since it was a dip and it needed to be able to stay on a cracker.  It should also be noted that I lie to myself all the time.

Cake Batter Dip

This is why I do not have a career as a food photographer or stylist.  These are Keebler Animal Crackers®.  I was impressed that Rick brought these home because I expected him to pick up the cheapest crackers in all the land. Sadly, this was the best and most identifiable animal in the whole damn bag which is why it made it to the top of dip mountain.

Cake Batter Dip

The lion appears to have a cleft palate.  The rest of the animal cookies were identified as blobs of nothing. They tasted like shit on their own and they weren’t much better with the dip.  Bye, bye Keebler® Sponsorship!

Cake Batter Dip

I decided to try the dip with graham crackers because I thought my first impression may have been clouded by that crappy animal cracker. I didn’t care for the dip with graham cracker either. I passed it around and nobody really cared for it.

So I decided that maybe I would make this for a party if I wanted to have more than one variety of dip and if there would be kids attending.  My brain immediately had two thoughts.

  1. I don’t have parties.
  2. I don’t like kids.

This recipe was pitched.  If I want to eat cake batter, I’ll just grab a box of Duncan Hines® and take my chances with the raw eggs.

* Apologies to facebook friends who have already seen these, but I needed some animals in this entry to compete with that damn Robyn.  Heh. 

Cake Batter Cracker Dip - Nance and Robyn make the same recipe
 
Prep time
Total time
 
: Snack; appetizer; dessert
Cuisine: French
Serves: 20
Ingredients
  • 1 box of cake mix, whichever flavor floats your boat
  • 1½ c. plain or vanilla-flavored yogurt
  • 2 c. Cool Whip
  • Powdered sugar, to taste (Robyn used 2 T. and thought it was just right)
  • Animal crackers, graham crackers, 'Nilla wafers, fresh fruit. Whatever you feel like dipping!
Instructions
  1. Combine all ingredients (except crackers) and mix 'til smooth and creamy. Refrigerate for at least one hour.
  2. Serve with your favorite crackers.

 

Fried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough – Nance and Robyn make the same recipe

Every week we’ll post a recipe that we both made. This week’s recipe was Fried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough. Printable recipe can be found at the bottom of this post.  The original recipe can be found over at Hershey Sweet Recipes.

Robyn’s Take:

This week’s recipe was Nance’s choice, and I flat-out told her that I was looking forward to trying it, but I was 100% sure that when I actually got around to making them, I was going to curse her name. Surprisingly enough (I must be maturing!)(HAHAHA) I did not curse her name even once!

First thing you do, is you make chocolate chip cookie dough. That’s easy, and who hasn’t made chocolate chip cookies before? (If you’ve never made chocolate chip cookies, I do not know what to tell you. I hope the wolves who raised you were kind.)

Your ingredients:

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Flour, baking soda, salt, butter, brown and white sugars, eggs, vanilla extract, and chocolate chips. Since this was a Hershey recipe, they have Hershey’s chocolate chips as an ingredient, but I only had Ghiardelli on hand, because I’m a fancy bitch like that.

Stir your dry ingredients (flour, baking soda, salt) together in a bowl and set it aside. Then beat your butter for 2 – 3 minutes ’til it’s lighter in color. Throw your sugars in there and beat for another couple of minutes ’til it’s light and fluffy. (The original recipe says to add the sugars “slowly”, but please. Just throw that shit in there.)

Add the eggs 1 at a time, beating well after each, toss in your vanilla, and then add the flour mixture on low until just combined, and then stir in chocolate chips.

Yawners. Your basic chocolate chip cookie recipe. (I’m pretty sure any chocolate chip cookie recipe would have worked.)

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Scoop your dough onto a cookie sheet (line it with parchment paper to make life easier, trust me. Parchment paper is THE AWESOME.) Since you’re not baking the cookies, you can crowd all your dough onto a couple of cookie sheets and not have to worry about them baking into each other. I hate it when my cookies do that. They need to keep their dough to THEMSELVES.

You’re going to use 2 teaspoons of the dough and roll it into balls. I mean, you can do that if you want to – I prefer to use my fancy-bitch cookie dough scoop (that’s an Amazon affiliate link, FYI).

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Stick your cookie sheets in the freezer for 30 minutes or so. Then wander off and mess with the cats, take a nap, or bitch about how bloated you feel because you ate too much raw cookie dough. Whatever floats your boat, go do it.

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“I TOLD YOU NOT TO EAT ALL THAT COOKIE DOUGH, STOOPID.”

The next step is to heat oil in a deep-fat fryer to 350ºF. I don’t have a deep-fat fryer. When I was a kid I bought a Fry Daddy for my father for Father’s Day and then used it and promptly melted the lid down into the Fry Daddy. Which, I’m sorry, how stupid is it to have a PLASTIC lid on a deep-fat fryer? SO stupid.

But I don’t have a deep-fat fryer currently, so I got out my small pot, filled it about halfway with vegetable oil, put the candy thermometer in, and heated it to 350ºF over medium-high heat. It took FOREVER.

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While that was going on, I made the batter, which is pretty easy.

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Flour, sugar, club soda, baking powder, 1 lg egg. Mix it together.

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Initially you add 1/2 cup of club soda (or seltzer water), and then once everything’s mixed up, you add more club soda/seltzer to the batter ’til it’s the consistency of heavy cream.

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Mine was maybe more the consistency of paint now that I look at it, but whatever. I’d added another 3/4 cup of club soda on top of the initial half cup, and I was done with that shit.

Once your oil is heated to 350, get out your frozen blobs of cookie dough.

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Dip the cookie dough into the batter, making sure it’s completely coated.

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Hey, you see that triangular scar on my hand, the one north of the old-lady age spot I MEAN FRECKLE? I got that from a litter box. True story – I used to have covered litter boxes, and as I was scooping litter boxes one day, the lid fell down on my hand and gouged me. And I’ve been carrying that war wound ever since. Totally badass, right?

Carefully, CAREFULLY, drop each blob of batter-covered cookie dough into the hot oil.

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Hot oil makes me nervous because almost 16 years ago Fred splashed hot oil onto the top of my right foot and it BURNED THE EVERLOVING SHIT out of the top of my foot. TRUE STORY. I had to go to the emergency room (though Fred tried to suggest that I could just smear some hydrocortisone on it and it’d be okay, SO SORRY TO INCONVENIENCE YOU FOR A RIDE TO THE ER AFTER YOU’VE MAIMED ME, MOTHERFUCKER)(and we were at that goddamn emergency room for like 6 hours, so he was probably right) (don’t tell him I said that) and it took a month before I could walk normally, with a regular shoe on that foot.

Oh, the good ol’ days.

(And I have a totally badass scar on my foot as a result, so it was TOTALLY WORTH THE SUFFERING.)

Anyway, I was convinced I was going to deep-fry a fingertip or two along with the cookie dough, but I managed to get away unscathed this time around.

This is what it looked like with two batter-covered cookie dough lumps frying deeply.

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First they sink to the bottom, and then they get all floaty and bob around resisting your efforts to turn them over.

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I ended up with a lot of crap floating around on top of the oil, and I was all “is that normal?”

When they were golden brownish, I took them out of the hot oil and drained them on a thick layer of paper towels.

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And then I took a bite of one, and I was like “Oh hey, I know what was floating around on top of the oil!” Apparently the cookie dough melted out of the batter and floated around in the oil, because there was nothing inside the batter except a slight film of chocolate.

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So I had to eat another one, of course.

The verdict? Fred told me, going into this, that he wasn’t going to like them. And he didn’t. Because he’s a motherfucker. I thought they were interesting, and not bad. I can tell you that the one I ate while it was still warm was WAY better than the one I ate later, when it was cold. Will I make them again? Um, no. I didn’t like them enough to go through the effort and the mental anguish of dealing with hot oil. If I see them at the fair (if I ever go to the fair and if they ever have deep-fried cookie dough there), I’ll probably get me some.

Confession: I only deep-fried about 10 of the cookie dough balls. The rest, I tossed into a plastic bag in the freezer. Now I can make chocolate chip cookies whenever the urge arises. I’m no dummy! (Hush, Nance.)

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Have a recipe you want us to make? Check out this page (there’s also a link to that page up there under the banner) and follow the instructions to submit a recipe!

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Nance’s Take:

I decided that if you can get through this entry until the very end, I will show you a picture of Shirley in her tube-top.  Yup.  72-year-old Shirley with her double-what-the-fuck-evers in a TUBE-TOP. You may laugh, but remember…some of us are still traumatized.

Yes, I’m the one that picked out this recipe.  Rick likes chocolate chip cookies and I like cookie dough.  We all like fried foods. I figured this would be a huge hit.

Deep Fried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

How can you go wrong with something that takes two sticks of butter?

Deep Fried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

Do you know how hard it is to hold a camera in one hand while holding a running hand mixer with the other? Very hard. I could have had a serious accident, people. Do not try this at home.  I’m not even going to tell you about the discussion (and googling) that went on with regard to using pasteurized eggs.  Rick pointed out that I have never met a cake batter that didn’t end up in my mouth so I figured I would be okay.  You do you and all that, but I went ahead and lived dangerously.

Deep Fried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

My mother wanted to help so I told her to measure out the flour, etc. Apparently this woman didn’t get the memo about using a separate bowl for the flour, etc.  And also, this was not her first rodeo when it comes to making chocolate chip cookies so I don’t know what the fuck was going on with her.

Deep Fried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

Eventually we got it together and I was getting all excited. But first I need to show you the conditions that we had been working under…

Deep Fried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

I have a very narrow kitchen. Sadie loves to lay right in the middle of the floor in case we drop something. We usually just step over her as we go back and forth from the refrigerator to the counter. It’s a pain in the ass, but since she’s old and has hip problems we give her a pass on a lot of things. Waldo decided to join her the night we made this recipe.  It’s just a matter of time until one of us breaks a hip.

Deep Fried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

Waldo does this every single day. He rolls back and forth until he falls asleep. On his side. With his paws held up. In the middle of the kitchen floor.  He’s such a weirdo that we just consider this part of his charm and move on. But imagine trying to mix up cookie dough and deep frying stuff under these conditions. My life is getting ridiculous.

Deep Fried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

One has to wonder what was going on here. I hope they’re not talking about how fat my ass looks in my jeans.  Nah, they’re probably just talking about how I need to mop my floors.

Deep Fried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

Grumpy egg does not approve of these shenanigans.

Deep Fried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

Felina tried out the cookie dough, but her heart wasn’t in it.

Deep Fried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

It was getting pretty hot in the kitchen and I was glad when I was done with rolling out these balls and able to throw them in the freezer for a while.

Deep Fried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

Never mind that I was wearing a goddamn sweatshirt and blue jeans in the middle of summer. Heh.

Deep Fried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

I was starting to wonder if I wasn’t going to end up with a huge clump of noodle-type shit, but it worked out okay.

Deep Fried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

Here we go!  Whee!

Deep Fried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

I own a deep fryer. I think I used it maybe three times. Complete waste of money unless you deep fry food all the time. And if you’re doing that, you’re crazy and obviously can’t wait for the chance to visit your hospital cardiac unit.  We should all be following the “once in a blue moon” rule when it comes to fried foods.

Deep Fried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

I was kind of excited to try this recipe because I thought it was going to be great – especially when it was throwing words like culinary and country club around.

Deep Fried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

I lined up three of them, snapped a picture and we each grabbed one.

Nope.

OHHELLNO.

It was the most disgusting thing any of us had eaten and I actually spit out my first bite because it was just too much. Too gross. Too disgusting. Too oozy. Too…YUCK. Just YUCK.

And then I figured we could “save” them by baking the rest of the dough balls like normal chocolate chip cookies.

Deep Fried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

NOPE. I like a flat chocolate chip cookie, but this was just off. And I knew for a fact that it didn’t work when I watched Rick toss his in the garbage can.

Buh-bye, shitty recipe.  Grumpy egg thinks you suck.

Deep Fried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough

Shirley in her tube-top as promised. Bwahaha. Ain’t no way I was posting anything on here that was going to piss off Shirley. She was a WAC (Army) and I value my life.  Nice white paint on there, huh? It’s a multi-purpose outfit. Be jealous.

Fried Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough - Nance and Robyn make the same recipe
 
Prep time
Cook time
Total time
 
: Um. Snack?
Cuisine: Fair/ Carnival food
Serves: ?
Ingredients
  • Dough:
  • 2½ c. all-purpose flour
  • 1 tsp baking soda
  • 1 tsp salt
  • 1 c. (2 sticks) unsalted butter
  • 1½ c. brown sugar
  • ½ c. sugar
  • ½ c. pasteurized eggs (or 2 eggs. I assume they're suggesting you use pasteurized eggs because you're going to cram cookie dough in your face, so do whatever makes you comfortable.)
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract
  • 2 c. (12-ounce package) semi sweet chocolate chips
  • Batter:
  • 2 c. all-purpose flour
  • 2 T sugar
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 1 lg egg (or ¼ c. pasteurized eggs)
  • ½ c. seltzer water or club soda, plus more as needed
  • Vegetable oil, for frying
Instructions
  1. Dough:
  2. Put the flour, baking soda, and salt in a bowl and stir to combine. Set aside.
  3. Using a mixer, beat the butter until it has lightened (2 - 3 minutes). Slowly add in sugars (or add sugar all at once, I won't tell anyone) and beat until it is light and fluffy.
  4. Add eggs 1 at a time and beat until they are well combined. Stir in the vanilla. Add the flour mixture (using the lowest setting on your mixer), then stir in the chocolate chips.
  5. Form the cookies using 2 tsp of the dough and roll it into balls (or use a cookie scoop). Put the balls onto a cookie sheet (on parchment paper, if you've got it). Put cookie sheets into the freezer for 30 minutes to firm up dough.
  6. Batter:
  7. In a large bowl, stir together the flour, sugar, and baking powder. Add the egg and half the seltzer/ club soda and mix well. Add more seltzer as needed until the batter is thick and the consistency of heavy cream.
  8. To make the cookies heat the oil in a deep-fat fryer (or a deep pot) to 350ºF. Dip the chilled dough balls in the batter and carefully (watch your fingers!) place them in the hot oil. Fry a few at a time, turning them over from time to time (they won't want to turn over. MAKE THEM.) until they are golden brown, around 3 minutes. Drain on paper towels and serve while still warm.

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7-Up® Biscuits – Nance and Robyn make the same recipe

Every week we’ll post a recipe that we both made. This week’s recipe was 7-Up® Biscuits. Printable recipe can be found at the bottom of this post.  The original recipe (we think!) can be found over at All Recipes.

Robyn’s Take:

This week’s recipe came by way of Rick’s aunt Cathey, who shared it with Nance on her Facebook page. After Nance made them, I suggested that we use them as a reader-submitted recipe, since I wanted to make them too. Nance had, luckily, snapped pictures while she was making them, so she was up for using them for DCEP. See? We do and do for you!

I did a search to see if I could figure out where the recipe originated, but wasn’t able to determine that. If you know where it originally came from, let us know. In the meantime, I randomly decided to credit All Recipes with it just because I can (even though that recipe has you drop the dough onto the cookie sheet instead of making biscuits and also uses less butter. WHATEVER.)

(Yes, we’ve made biscuits before. These sound a whole lot easier!)

Your ingredients:

Biscuits (1)

7-Up®, Bisquick® (the All Recipes recipe says “all-purpose biscuit baking mix”, but come on. WE ALL KNOW what they’re really saying.)(Amanda wouldn’t be caught dead even knowing what Bisquick® IS, of course.), sour cream, and a stick o’ butter.

Dump your Bisquick®, 7-Up®, and sour cream into a big bowl.

Biscuits (2)

Then be all “Oh shit, I need to melt this butter.” I put my stick of butter in the 9×13 baking dish I was planning to use, and put the dish in the oven so the butter could melt while I was mixing up the biscuits. AM CLEARLY GENIUS.

Biscuits (3)
In case you were curious what a stick of butter in a 9×13 baking dish looks like.

I used a big spoon to mix everything up, because I didn’t want to get out the mixer (and also, I don’t think you’re supposed to use a mixer when you’re making biscuits because you’ll overmix them – YES YOU WILL, you’re dumb like that – and then you’ll have tough biscuits and everyone will be all bitchy and complainy and shouldn’t they just shut the hell up? Yes they should. Fuckers.) It took, I don’t know – 2 minutes of stirring, maybe, before the dough held together.

Biscuits (4)

Sprinkle a light layer of Bisquick® onto your counter or whatever you’re using to make your biscuits on. I do have a pastry mat, but getting it out and unrolling it, and then having to clean it before putting it away is a big pain in my ass, so I opted to just use the counter. YES I cleaned it before I slapped the dough down.

Then sprinkle a light layer of Bisquick® on top of the dough – I also recommend dipping your hands IN the damn Bisquick® before kneading so dough doesn’t stick to your hands. I mean, it still WILL, but if your hands are coated with Bisquick® less dough will stick and I HATE having dough all over my hands. It’s a pet peeve of mine. Add it to the list. Knead the dough together, then flip it over and knead it again.

Pat it out evenly to your desired height. When I was done randomly patting my dough out into a square-ish shape, I got out the measuring tape and measured what I had. It was 12 inches by 12 inches, and half an inch thick.

Biscuits (5)

Using your trusty biscuit cutter OR the top of a glass OR hell, just use a knife to cut them into squares, it doesn’t matter and the only one who cares is probably you. I wish I had a heart-shaped biscuit cutter like this, but I just have a set of three boring round ones.

Biscuits (6)

My butter (in the 9×13″ baking dish) was plenty melted by this point, so I took the dish out of the oven and put the biscuits in it, filling the pan.

Biscuits (8)

It was at this point that I thought “Oh, crap. I wonder if putting biscuits in a hot baking dish will result in biscuits with overcooked bottoms?” But whatcha gonna do? I’d already put the biscuits in there, so I was committed to seeing it through.

This is the dough I had left over after I’d filled the baking dish.

Biscuits (9)

Instead of patting it out and making a bunch more biscuits, I just mushed the dough in a big round, cut it in half and slapped it on a baking dish. Then I baked it for 20 minutes and gave it George and Gracie and the chickens.

Biscuits (12)
“Where MY biscuits, stoopit lady?”

These are the biscuits, done cooking.

Biscuits (10)

And here they are, arranged artfully (HA) on a plate.

Biscuits (11)

The verdict? They tasted like biscuits! Fred declared them “Damn good”, and since he’s the one who grew up eating biscuits, he knows better than I do when it comes to biscuits. This is so easy to throw together that it’s surely going to be my go-to biscuit recipe. I don’t make biscuits all that often, but it’s good to know that if I should NEED to, I’ve got a simple recipe that doesn’t require much fuss.

What I’ll do differently next time: I’ll probably make them thicker (more like 1-inch) and smaller (I have a set of three biscuit cutters; I used the largest this time, next time I’ll use the middle one). But I certainly have no complaints at all, this is two thumbs up.

Thanks, Aunt Cathey!

PS: The biscuits’ bottoms were not, in fact, overcooked. They were perfect!

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Have a recipe you want us to make? Check out this page (there’s also a link to that page up there under the banner) and follow the instructions to submit a recipe!

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Nance’s Take:
I tend to ignore most recipes that show up on my Facebook wall since sharing the recipe is how a lot of people just bookmark/save the recipe they might want to try someday.  Rick’s aunt Cathey shared this recipe on her wall and mentioned that they were good.  I was all up in that shit because aunt Cathey, being married to Rick’s uncle and living in Tennessee, just has to know about good biscuits.  She’s also one of my favorite people because she’s the most unabashed liberal grandmother that I know.  Her facebook posts are some of my favorite things to read and share so I’m happy to be able to bring one of her shares over to DCEP.

7-UP Biscuits

These are your ingredients. Simple, huh? Please note that I did not buy name-brand baking mix because we don’t use it for anything except breading the Ultimate Chicken Fingers that Robyn wrote about.  And also note my very well-seasoned cookie sheet.  The poor thing has been thru a war or two in my kitchen.

7-UP Biscuits

Sadie is all, “Bitch, what the fuck with laying containers of food in front of me?” and I am all, “Bitch, quit laying in the middle of the goddamn kitchen floor when I’m trying to cook!”

7-UP Biscuits

Somebody had to run out and get 7-Up because we don’t keep it in the house. Since then, I have used no-name pop/soda and it works just as well.  Around here we call it pop.  Except for the foreigner that I married.  He calls it soda.

7-UP Biscuits

I just used a floured glass to cut them out. I didn’t roll out the dough…I just patted it down a little bit with floured hands until I got the desired height that I wanted.  As you can see, I’m not exactly dainty in the kitchen.

7-UP Biscuits

This is one of a million pictures that Shirley (aka: mom) took because she was trying to catch me in my pajamas.  I kept stepping back, but she got me a few times.  They like to mock what I wear because they are jealous. The pants are actually to an old flannel pajama set that were too short (as are most) and this particular pair wore like capris. That’s also a bright green McDonald’s t-shirt advertising their smoothies (my kid works there).  The only thing you should be looking at in this picture is the amount of butter laying in that pan on the right. Cut your butter down to a 1/4 cup and it’ll be just as good.  Yes, this is the one time that I admit that there can be such a thing as too much butter.

My tube-top w/sweatpants wearing 72-year-old mother trying to catch me in embarrassing clothes.  Irony.

7-UP Biscuits

This is what they looked like when it came out of the oven.

7-UP Biscuits

And this is where I wish I would have taken the time to mix & roll the dough a little bit more. I have always heard that you can’t handle biscuit dough too much because that’s what makes them hard. I’m so afraid of making them hard that I barely touch it…then I end up with biscuits that look like this!  I’ll never be as good as Amanda!  DAMN.

7-UP Biscuits

But they are still pretty damn good biscuits and the recipe is definitely going to go into the cookbook!  Aunt Cathey picked a winner!

Edited to add: Aunt Cathey said to just add some sugar and you’ll have shortcakes for eating your strawberry shortcake desserts. LOVE HER!

7-Up® Biscuits - Nance and Robyn make the same recipe
 
Prep time
Cook time
Total time
 
: Breakfast!
Cuisine: Southern. I mean, right? Don't you Yankees try to claim this one!
Serves: 6 - 12ish
Ingredients
  • 4 c. Bisquick® (or other biscuit baking mix, AS IF)
  • 1 c. sour cream
  • 1 c. 7-Up® (or I suppose some other type of citrusy soda, but what do you have against 7-Up®?)
  • ½ c. butter
Instructions
  1. Heat oven to 425ºF.
  2. Melt butter in a microwave-safe bowl, or put it in the baking dish you're planning to use, and place it in the oven while you mix the biscuits. (Remove from the oven as soon as the butter is melted so that it doesn't brown.)
  3. Mix Bisquick®, sour cream and 7-Up® until just combined.
  4. Sprinkle Bisquick® on counter or pastry mat, and place dough on mat/cupboard. Sprinkle top of dough with more Bisquick® and coat your hands with it as well (if desired).
  5. Knead dough until it holds together, turn over, and knead again.
  6. Pat dough out to your desired thickness (1/2" - 1"), and then cut into biscuits using a biscuit cutter, the top of a glass, or a knife.
  7. Place biscuits in baking pan (atop the butter), close together so that they're touching.
  8. Bake 12 - 15 minutes, until golden.
  9. NOTE: This recipe can be halved; just use a 9x9 baking dish instead.

 

Taco Soup!

Good morning, y’all! Is it time for more Amanda-baiting? I think it is! The recipe for Taco Soup is at the bottom of the page; the original recipe can be seen over at High Heels & Grills.

Months and months ago, cookie-decorator and commenter extraordinaire Traci posted this recipe on my Facebook wall. Instead of printing it out and adding it to my ever-growing stack of “recipes I’m gonna try some day,” I was swayed by her raving about how damn good it was, and since I had most of the ingredients on hand, I went out and bought what I needed and I made it THAT VERY DAY.

(That is a complete and utter lie. I think I made it the next week because I am a lazy slacker and also a liar, obviously.)

I don’t remember when Traci brought the recipe to my attention, but I do know it’s been several months, and I’ve made it six or seven times since then. It’s a very forgiving recipe, and you could add more of the stuff you like, and less of the stuff you don’t. It all works out! Traci makes hers in the crock pot, but I just toss it all in a big pot, heat it up, and it’s ready to eat. You seriously can’t get easier than this recipe, and you guys KNOW how much I like a simple, tasty recipe. Also, Fred LOVES it, and Fred is actually not any big fan of soup.

Your ingredients:

Taco Soup (1)

Pinto beans, enchilada sauce, black beans, chicken broth, petite diced tomatoes, cream of chicken soup, corn, chicken, and an envelope of taco seasoning.

Changes I made: the original recipe called for green enchilada sauce. I could not find that in my local Publix for anything, so I tried regular enchilada sauce. Guess what? It was so good that I’m too scared to try it with green enchilada sauce because I’m worried I won’t like it as much. Which is crazy, I know, but I never claimed to NOT be a nut.

Also, the recipe calls for canned chicken. I have nothing against canned chicken, but we always have chicken in the freezer, so that’s what I used. I’ve also made this with turkey, and it was damn fine. I used 2 cups of chicken/turkey.

Ready to make your taco soup? It’s a long and involved process. Try to follow along.

Taco Soup (2)

Open your cans and envelope of seasoning, dump everything into a big pot, and place over medium heat until warmed through.

That’s it! Seriously, could it be any easier?

Taco Soup (3)

We eat ours with baked Tostitos and oh, good lord. So good! The best part is that it makes a lot, so we usually eat it for two meals, and then get a couple of lunches from it, as well. Highly HIGHLY recommended, this stuff. Make it! Now! Git! Who cares what Amanda thinks?

DSC00103
“Yo, seriously? It’s THAT easy?!”

(Amanda is totally clutching her pearls right now. Or maybe she was so horrified she passed out.)

Taco Soup!
 
Prep time
Cook time
Total time
 
: entree
Cuisine: Soup. Is a type of cuisine. Oh, yes it IS. It comes from Souplandia.
Serves: 6-8
Ingredients
  • 15 oz can black beans (you can drain and rinse them; I don't)
  • 15 oz can pinto beans (ditto)
  • 14.5 oz. can petite diced tomatoes (drain them if you want; I don't bother)
  • 15.25 oz can sweet corn, drained
  • 12.5 oz can white chicken breast, drained OR 2 c. shredded chicken or turkey
  • 10.75 oz can Cream of Chicken soup (I've also used Cream of Mushroom)
  • 10 oz can enchilada sauce (use green if you dare; I've always used the red stuff)
  • 14 oz can chicken broth
  • 1 packet taco seasoning
Instructions
  1. Throw everything into a big pot.
  2. Heat over medium heat until warmed through.
  3. Eat with tortilla chips (the Tostitos Scoops are really good)

 

Chicken Noodle Hold the Soup – Nance & Robyn make the same recipe

Every week we’ll post a recipe that we both made. This week’s recipe was Chicken Noodle Hold the Soup. Printable recipe can be found at the bottom of this post.  The original recipe can be found over at The Rachael Ray Show

Robyn’s Take: This is our first reader-submitted recipe, sent to use by Nicole D!

I don’t know a whole lot about Rachael Ray except that she shills a $20 “garbage bowl”, and so help me if any of you buy a damn bowl ESPECIALLY to put your kitchen garbage in, I will come knock on your door and slap you into next Tuesday, because that is some ridiculous-ass shit. It always confuses me when a specialist – ie, a cook – gets a five-day-a-week show.

I mean, you’re a cook or a cardiothoracic surgeon (Dr. Oz, lookin’ at you), what on earth makes anyone think you need an ENTIRE show where you, I assume, do things other than cook or perform surgery? But I guess she’s had her show for several years now and it’s still going, so there you go. Speaking of Dr. Oz, is it just me or does that man recommend a HUGE number of supplements? If you took every supplement he recommended, you’d be eating nothing but supplements all day long. ANYway.

Your ingredients:

DSC03412

A chicken, removed from the bone and kind of shredded (the recipe called for a rotisserie chicken; we have a freezer full of chicken, so I cooked one in the crock pot and used that), peas, carrots, onion, celery, zucchini, egg noodles, olive oil, salt and pepper, and a bit of butter. The original recipe called for parsley, but I don’t do parsley so I left it out (the world would be a better place if parsley was left out of everything.)

Cook your egg noodles!

DSC03414

Put a large skillet over medium-high heat, and add your olive oil. Add the carrots, celery, and onion to the pan and cook until the veggies start to get tender, 3 – 4 minutes.

DSC03424

Add the zucchini and some salt and pepper to the pan, and cook for another couple of minutes, until all the veggies are tender.

DSC03427

This is the point when my noodles were done cooking, so I feel obligated to show you what noodles sitting in a colander look like.

DSC03428

Fascinating, no? I love the hell out of that colander; it’s made of silicone and it’s collapsible, so in theory it takes up less space. I mean, when I’m the one who puts it away, it takes up less space. The issue comes when Fred does the dishes. First he tries to take up half the damn dishwasher with that thing, and then when I yell at him for the fact that I’ll have to run the dishwasher with just that colander and two spoons and ask why he’s trying so hard to kill Mother Earth, he washes the colander and puts it away uncollapsed so it takes up the entire cabinet. When it’s collapsed it sits unobtrusively to the side, but when it’s not, it’s VERY FUCKING OBTRUSIVE. But I love it, so it’s staying.

Anyway. Add the chicken and peas to your pan of veggies, and let everything heat through.

DSC03433

Not shown: Adding butter to the noodles and tossing to coat. To serve, spoon chicken and veggie mixture over the noodles.

DSC03434

The verdict?

NotImpressed

Really, just not impressive. It was okay, it wasn’t bad – we ate it for two meals and then Fred took the rest for leftovers – but it was pretty boring and bland. It could have used more spices (don’t try to tell me that it would have been better if I’d used the parsley. Parsley would have taken it from “meh” to inedible.) or maybe Rachael Ray in attendance to say “EVOO”, but all I know for sure is that I won’t be making this again.

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Have a recipe you want us to make? Check out our new page (there’s also a link to that page up there under the banner) and follow the instructions to submit a recipe!

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Nance’s Take:

Okay, I’m going to admit it. I cannot stand Rachael Ray. I remember watching her on the Food Network and she drove me nuts with her 30 minute meals. 30 minutes if you buy a bunch of pre-sliced and expensive ingredients! And the real truth on why I can’t stand her…I think she’s a fake-laugher. I cannot stand people who fake chuckle, giggle or laugh. Nobody should ever fake something in order to appear like they have charm. She does it all the time and if you don’t believe me, watch her closely. Fake laugher. Fake grin. Fake Smile. Fake, fake, fake, fake, fake!

Although I do believe her boobs are real.  See below.

Chicken Noodle, Hold The Soup

You can’t possibly know how annoyed I was that I had to watch her cooking segment to get the gist of this recipe. Or it might have been to see how to “matchstick” vegetables correctly. Shut-up.

Chicken Noodle, Hold The Soup

Rick picked up the rotisserie chicken for me since it was on his way home from work.  This came from Sam’s Club and we call it a Pickin’ Chicken because sometimes we’ll grab one of these and pick at it all day like a bunch of gross carnivores. Then I throw it in a big pot of water to get all of the meat off of it and make chicken and dumplings (the real kind).

Chicken Noodle, Hold The Soup

This is what it looked like after having been in the refrigerator overnight. Um, gross.

Chicken Noodle, Hold The Soup

I had no idea what flat-parsley is and it didn’t matter because when I went to the grocery store they only had Italian Parsley. Who knew there were so many different types of parsley out there? Not me, man.  Maybe there aren’t that many types.  Maybe there is just flat and Italian and I’m just stupid.  Hmm.

Chicken Noodle, Hold The Soup

This is a carrot and vegetable peeler. I am not really good at peeling shit. When I have to peel potatoes (I avoid it like the plague) I use a knife and hack away at it.  I may lose some of the potato, but I’m okay with that. There is nothing more annoying than peeling the skin off of anything (Silence of the Lambs – WOOT). Okay, I just grossed myself out. We’re not going to talk about it anymore.

Chicken Noodle, Hold The Soup

As you can see, I muddled through. The recipe is really simple to make (although not quite as simple as Rachael Ray made it seem). The biggest pain in the ass and time-suck for me was getting all of the vegetables peeled, cut, and thrown into the pan.

Chicken Noodle, Hold The Soup

I salt and peppered the shit out of those vegetables. The recipe calls for cooking them 3-4 minutes, but I cooked the shit out of those bad boys because I don’t care for vegetables.  Zucchini? Get real.  I don’t need a crunch to tell me that I’m eating a vegetable.  I prefer mine to be cooked beyond recognition and then I’m all about them.  What?  At least they’re not deep-fried!

Chicken Noodle, Hold The Soup

Decapitation brought to you by DCEP!  Shirley (aka: mom) cracked my shit up when I opened the refrigerator this morning and found the bottom half of that bunch in a plastic baggie.  She was cooking with me and either she has even less of a clue about parsley than I do or she was just on a roll cleaning up and not paying attention.  Either way, I got a chuckle out of it.  A real chuckle.  Not to be confused with a Rachael Ray chuckle.

Chicken Noodle, Hold The Soup

I was in a hurry so I used one of Rick’s tricks to cook the noodles. You know how the instructions say to bring water to a boil and then add the noodles?  Rick just adds them right away.  I flip out every time I catch him doing it. But I was in a hurry so the noodles went into the pot and I was all, “Boil, goddammit, BOIL!”

Don’t tell Rick.

Chicken Noodle, Hold The Soup

Action shot! Please Note: Those vegetables are seriously COOKED (and some of them even look like worms).

Chicken Noodle, Hold The Soup

Noodles with chopped parsley. You don’t know how badly I just wanted to add a shit-ton of parmesan cheese and call that dinner.  But I soldiered on because I’m trying to be good about this bullshit recipe site with a weird name.  Sigh.

Chicken Noodle, Hold The Soup

It was really very good.  And that’s saying something coming from a vegetable hater like myself.  It’s going into the rotation for sure.  Whoever picked this (I don’t pay attention, I figure Robyn will know) did a good job because it’s the first Rachael Ray recipe that has ever made it in to my recipe book!

Chicken Noodle Hold the Soup - Nance & Robyn make the same recipe
 
Prep time
Cook time
Total time
 
: Entree
Cuisine: Indonesian
Serves: 6
Ingredients
  • 1 whole cooked chicken (rotisserie from the grocery store, if you must), removed from bone and torn into small pieces or shredded
  • 2 tablespoons Olive Oil (extra-virgin, if you want. Who can tell the difference? Not ME)
  • 1 thinly sliced medium onion
  • 3 carrots, cut into matchsticks
  • 4 ribs celery, cut into matchsticks
  • 2 small zucchini, cut into matchsticks
  • Salt and pepper
  • 1 pound egg noodles (medium or extra wide)
  • 1 T butter
  • ½ cup (about a handful) flat-leaf parsley, chopped (If you must)
  • 5 oz frozen peas, thawed
Instructions
  1. Cook your noodles according to the instructions on the box and drain. Put the noodles back into the pot they were cooked in and add butter and parsley, and toss to coat (you can do all this while you're making the chicken and veggies if you think you won't screw it up.)
  2. Put a large skillet over med-high heat, add olive oil. If you're feeling feisty, call it "EVOO" and roll your eyes.
  3. When the pan is hot, add carrots, onion, and celery to the pan. Cook 4 - 5 minutes, stirring occasionally, until the vegetables start to get tender.
  4. Add the zucchini to the pan and add salt and pepper (to taste) and cook another 2 - 3 minutes, until all the vegetables are tender.
  5. Add chicken and peas to the pan and cook until heated through.
  6. To serve, put noodles in a bowl and spoon the chicken and vegetable mixture on top.

 

Southern Fried Pies – Nance and Robyn make the same recipe

Come join us on Facebook!

Every week we’ll post a recipe that we both made. This week’s recipe was Southern Fried Pies, found over at Group Recipes. Printable recipe can be found at the bottom of this post.

Robyn’s Take:

This week’s recipe was chosen by Nance. I okayed it because – I think we’ve established this – both Nance and I generally look at the finished product for a recipe and don’t bother to do much more than glance at the ingredients and instructions. So when the time came for me to make these pies, I actually looked at the recipe and I was like “JESUS CHRIST, NANCE. WHAT THE FUCK?!”

One thing you need to know about me, and I feel certain that I’ve said this before: I ain’t making no damn pie dough from scratch. It just is NOT going to happen, and I will save you some time here, folks. Don’t tell me how easy it is, don’t send me “Granny’s OMG Best Pie Crust Ever, Only Takes 30 Seconds to Make, Perfect Results Guaranteed Every Time!” recipe. I’m not making pie dough from scratch. NOT GONNA. NEVER. SO HUSH.

(Amanda is rolling around in agony right now and her high horse is totally snorting and pawing at the ground.)

Also, the original recipe played it pretty fast and loose with the filling. Basically – “prepared filling.” Okay, well, this is going to be easy, isn’t it?

Ingredients:

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Pie dough and prepared pie filling. I decided to make blueberry pies, obviously. Not shown: Crisco, which is what you fry your pies in.

On a side note, very hot oil makes me kind of nervous. One morning in November 1996 (so, like, before many of you were BORN), we were making a big breakfast for, um, breakfast. Fred was in charge of making gravy, and as he was stirring together the oil and flour, he got all VIGOROUS with his stirring. I was standing next to him cooking the scrambled eggs, and suddenly I thought to myself “Hmm. My foot feels odd.”

GODDAMN RIGHT my foot felt odd. A tsunami of boiling oil and flour had landed on TOP of my motherfucking foot, and was in the process of merrily burning the shit out of it. I screamed and backed away from the stove, and then Fred bent down and wiped the boiling oil off the top of my foot, removing a layer of skin and burning the shit out of his hand in the process. We spent the day in the emergency room and I could barely walk for a month afterward.

So I tend to avoid boiling oil, is my point. Anyway.

Then I was like “WHY are we making pie again? I’m not even that crazy about pie. No one in this house is all that crazy about pie!”

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“I like pie!”

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“Me, me! I’ll take some pie!”

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“Oh my ceiling cat! There’s PIE?!”

I decided to use just one of the pie crusts, instead of both, since Fred and I were in agreement that we weren’t going to be any kind of big fans of these little annoying PAIN IN MY ASS fried pies.

Unroll the pie crust.

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While this part was going on, I plopped a large amount of solid Crisco into the cast iron pan and set it over medium heat. I did take a picture, but it came out blurry and I decided to delete rather than share it. YOU’RE WELCOME.

I used a big plastic cup to cut out my individual pies.

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Plopped some filling on each pie dough round.

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Folded ’em over, and crimped the edges with a fork dipped in water.

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Don’t be impressed by the ONE pretty pie I managed. The other three barfed out their fillings all over the counter.

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The Crisco was melted and hot, so I put the pies in.

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I wish I’d been paying attention to how long they were cooking before I decided to turn them over, because it was TOO FRIGGIN’ LONG. The one on the right was allllmost burnt.

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You see all that oil flying through the air? What a pain in the ass to clean up.

When I decided they were done, I removed them from the oil and put them on paper towels to drain. After they’d cooled for a couple of minutes, I sprinkled them with Turbinado sugar. Then I used the rest of my dough to make a weirdly-shaped pie, and threw the rest of the pie dough in the Crisco to cook. Yes, I could have re-rolled the pie dough, but

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Then I put the other four pies on a plate and tried to take a decent picture.

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Fuck you, you fucking pies.

The verdict? I actually liked them. In fact, I liked them so much that the chickens and dogs didn’t get ANY of those pies. Fred didn’t like them, because he doesn’t like blueberry pie. If I were to do it over again, I’d probably use apple butter or cherry jam as the filling.

Will I make these again? No, but only because the cleanup was a pain. I’d happily eat them if someone made them for me in their own kitchen. Or actually, I’d make them myself if someone else came in and cleaned up after me.

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Nance’s take:

Sorry about this entry being late. Some of us worked all weekend and it appears that some of us celebrated 420.  Are you high, Felina Marie?

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If there is a recipe on here that isn’t healthy just go ahead and assume that I’m the one who picked it. I have a serious sweet tooth and I admit that our web site makes it awfully convenient for me to indulge in questionable food choices.  Ha!  I seriously just tried to justify why I chose fried pies for the recipe this week.  Like, really.  I don’t need to justify shit, man.  It’s FRIED PIES!

First, I have to tell you about the crap I had to go through just to make these freaking pies.  My mom has had a thing about stainless steel cookware that has been driving me batshit for years. She always yaps at me about how my aunt Red still uses the stainless steel cookware that she got when she was first married (50+ years ago). And how it still looks like new! She’s been telling me about this stainless steel cookware for years.

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When I saw a set of Wolfgang Puck’s cookware at the store I picked it up for her. I guess we’ll just call it a shut-the-fuck-up-already gift (because that’s exactly what it was).  It was cheap enough and I figured she would get over her stainless steel fascination when she got tired of scrubbing scorched food all the time.  I also wasn’t expecting much from them because they’re a celebrity brand and I don’t have much faith in that kind of stuff.  Can you say the Hulk Hogan Ultimate Grill?  But, of course, I’m completely wrong and OHMYGAWD, WE LOVE THESE FREAKING POTS & PANS!

But the real kick in the ass?  My mom is an ASSHOLE about them.  She watches us when we’re using them (lest we do something harmful to them).  She even had the audacity to critique the way I washed them one day (and trust me, I am a maniac about clean dishes).  It’s a TO-DO any time we want to use them and I have already threatened her more than once that I will buy my own set because she’s such a fucking bitch about hers.

Which leads me to the making of the fried pies.  I wanted to use her pan because it was deeper than mine.  I was allowed, but trust me, she was keeping an eye on things.  Seriously.  She’s INSANE (but you guys already knew that).

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I may or may not like to torture her when I use them now because I am of the age where she can no longer beat my ass. The set came with spatulas, etc., and I decided I was going to use them only because she actually had them HIDDEN from us. Why? Her answer, “Because I didn’t want yunz messing them up.” Welcome to north of Pittsburgh! And also, how the hell could we possibly mess up kitchen tools?  Jesus H.

Note:  My mom would never in a million years stop me from using any of her things.  Yes, I am doing nothing but torturing Shirley for shits and giggles.  Some adult children need therapy to correct any damage that their parents supposedly did while they grew up.  Me?  Payback is a bitch, Shirley.  Hee!

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Shirley (obviously not a very good hand model…moisturize already!) is showing the proper way to measure flour. Do you guys know anybody who doesn’t do this? I wonder if young people today have a clue that you have to measure flour this way. We’re going to have to start doing some basic how-to pages soon.

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Shirley used MY camera to get this action shot of me putting the sugar in. Please note: Shirley is welcome to use my camera whenever she wants and I don’t say a word. Who’s not selfish? ME.

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It’s right about this time that I figured I would use the pie filling in my morning yogurt.  I thought I had conquered making pie crusts, biscuits, etc., but I assumed it was back to the drawing board when I saw this mess.

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Once I used my hands it came together pretty well. I threw it in the refrigerator and used my cell phone to call Rick to tell him he needed to pick up Crisco. Why can’t anybody tell me when they use up something and know we need more? Gah.

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Here I am rolling that dough out like it’s my job. I’m using my mom’s metal rolling pin that she’s had for at least 30 years. She got it from one of those door-to-door type sales things. Amway? Yes, I do happen to own many aprons. I just keep thinking that I won’t need to use them and end up having flour handprints all over ass.

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I deviated from the recipe and used a bowl to cut the dough out instead of the lid from the Crisco can because it makes for a prettier picture. Heh.

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Cherries! I love cherries, but if given a choice I would rather not have the kind that comes in the can. Too much sugar and that thick “sauce” is ridiculous. And is anybody else noticing the ridiculous price of canned fruit? At our local grocery store they wanted $3.99 a can. I accidentally found my fruit at Big Lots for $1.70 a can. WOW.

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OMG, you guys! Shirley got Crisco on the side of her precious pan and when I first noticed it I pushed that old woman out of the way and took a picture of it! She was mumbling some pathetic excuse while I was laughing at her and that’s when she dropped her entire spatula into the melted oil. I caught HELL big time for that one and it was SO WORTH IT.

What?

Fried Pie

This was pretty simple, but I still fucked it up. My crust wasn’t thin enough and I used too much filling on some of them. Learn from my mistakes. And also, if you’re using apple pie filling it helps to take them out of the can and cut them into smaller chunks. It makes it much easier to work with.

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I used TWO of Shirley’s special utensils to put this in her special skillet.

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Fried pie is frying.

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I thought about making a glaze for them, but it just seemed like a hassle when I already had a mess with just making the pies. I sprinkled sugar on them when they came out of the skillet as a compromise. Next time I’m definitely going to go with a light glaze. They filling is sweet on its own, but it just needed that little oomph that a glaze would add to make it perfect. The entire family agreed that this is a keeper and Shirley was already yapping about how she could see herself eating one of them on a road-trip.

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*Robyn and I are tentatively looking into possibly using DCEP as a virtual piggy bank.  Neither one of us want that kind of sneaky bullshit that you see on other blogs because we’re not into alienating anyone.  Eventually there will be a page about all of this, but we’re just putting our toe in the water right now.  Just know this:  DCEP is not, nor will it ever be, our jobs or our main source of income.  We’re just going to be open to advertising on the side bar and using an Amazon affiliate link.

 

Southern Fried Pies - Nance and Robyn make the same recipe
 
Prep time
Cook time
Total time
 
: Dessert, Snack, Midnight Snack, Midday Snack, Breakfast
Cuisine: South African
Serves: 8
Ingredients
  • 2 c. all-purpose flour
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • ½ tsp salt
  • 1 T sugar
  • ½ c. Crisco shortening
  • ¾ c. milk
  • (OR just buy a damn prepared pie crust from the store, dummy)
  • Prepared filling of your choice.
Instructions
  1. Whisk flour, baking powder, salt and sugar together in a large bowl.
  2. Cut in Crisco with a pastry knife, fork, or two knives.
  3. Add milk, stir together, and then roll together.
  4. Chill for 5 minutes.
  5. Roll out pie dough fairly thin (this is an awful recipe. Why would anyone ever make their own pie dough?)
  6. Cut into circles; you can use the top of a large plastic cup or a biscuit cutter or the top of the can of Crisco or your stupid feet. USE WHAT YOU WANT.
  7. Place your prepared filling on one half of the circle, not too close to the edge
  8. Fold the circle in half, over the filling.
  9. Crimp the edges of the pie dough with a fork dipped in water.
  10. Heat a large blop of Crisco shortening in an iron skillet (or whatever the hell kind of skillet you have. Seriously, WTF?)
  11. Lift pies with a spatula, one by one, and place in the hot Crisco, being careful not to splash it all over your stupid self, because that shit is HOT.
  12. Watch the pies carefully and turn them over when they're golden brown.
  13. When the other side is golden brown, remove the pies to paper towels to drain.
  14. Sprinkle each cooked fried pie with granulated sugar (Robyn used Turbinado).

 

Pink Lemonade Cupcakes – Nance and Robyn make the same recipe

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Every week we’ll post a recipe that we both made. This week’s recipe was Pink Lemonade Cupcakes, found over at Your Home Based Mom. Printable recipe can be found at the bottom of this post.  

Robyn’s Take:

This week’s recipe was my choice, and I found it by Googling around for Paula Deen’s pink lemonade buttercream frosting, after one of you commenters mentioned the idea in a comment. I’d point y’all to it and thank the commenter, but I’ll be damned if I can remember who it was. (Okay, I just went and searched. It was Melanie. Take a bow, Melanie!)

A doctored-up cake mix and pink lemonade frosting. You KNOW I was on board for that!

Your cake ingredients:

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White cake mix, the things you need to make the cake according to the directions on the box (in this case, vegetable oil and eggs – water was required, too, but I didn’t bother to take a picture of that. If you don’t know what water is, you’ve got bigger problems than we can help with.), lemon zest, pink lemonade mix, and Bacardi Rum vanilla.

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Seriously. Who the fuck are they trying to kid? Eating raw cake batter is your reward for making a cake! Kiss my ass, Betty Crocker (Nance, add them to the list of companies that will never sponsor us now!)

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Mix the cake, toss in lemon zest (I used fresh lemon zest because I’m a fancy bitch like that. You could probably use the dried stuff you can buy in the store if you are not so fancy as me.), vanilla, powdered drink mix. (By the way, that Country Time Pink Lemonade was the ONLY kind of pink lemonade that wasn’t using artificial sweeteners, which is why I bought that huge-ass container when I only needed a little of the powder.)

This, right here, is the point where I decided to deviate from the recipe. I was pouring batter into the cupcake liners that lined the cups of my muffin tin, and I remembered how much I REALLY FUCKING HATE peeling those liners off the cupcakes, and so I decided “Oh, to hell with this shit. I’m making a cake instead.”

So I greased my 9×13 cake pan, dumped in the batter, and stuck it in the oven.

I AM SUCH A REBEL.

YouDidWhat

Uh oh.

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This is what a cake pan with raw batter in it looks like. In case you were wondering.

And the cake, done. Well, probably a little overdone.

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I let the cake cool for a few hours, and then made the frosting. I should add here that I made this cake on the day that we had guys tromping in and out of the house all day long, replacing our air conditioning unit thingy. The thing I hate about having work done in the house is that I feel like I can’t DO anything in case they need a question answered (they didn’t need ANY questions answered), so I was very distracted. And yet, I took the following super-gorgeous and professional-looking picture of the frosting ingredients. Try not to feel too bad about your own picture-taking abilities.

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Thawed frozen lemonade concentrate, powdered sugar, softened butter, Bacardi Rum vanilla.

Beat your butter ’til it’s creamy.

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Add your powdered sugar, 1/2 cup at a time until you get annoyed and just throw the rest of it in there and sugar goes everywhere.

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Add vanilla and thawed pink lemonade concentrate until it’s the consistency you want.

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Frost your cake.

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What you cannot tell from this picture is that the frosting was a very pretty, very light pink.

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And the verdict? Fred thought it was AWEsome. He thought it was so awesome that at the end of the weekend, instead of feeding the leftovers to the chickens, like we usually do, he wrapped it in tin foil and stuck it in the freezer. Can you DO that with cake, frosted with buttercream frosting? Hell if I know; I guess we’ll find out next weekend.

I, on the other hand, was pretty meh about it. I don’t think it was the fault of the recipe, I think I just wasn’t in the mood for cake and buttercream frosting. (I know, right? CAN there be such a thing as not being in the mood for cake and buttercream frosting?! Apparently so.)

At this point, I have no plans to make it again unless Fred specifically requests it.

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Nance’s take: 

 031608 - Cheese!

This is Rick and Robyn in a popular cupcake shop back in 2008. Please note the serious cheesin’ that happens with these two when there are cameras present. Good Lord.  Also, the amount of freaking cupcakes that were purchased that day!

I love cupcakes, but I stick with white, chocolate or yellow. Don’t be messing around and adding shit. I might break down and have a red velvet one, but I usually always regret it. On the day this photo was taken I distinctly remember having a couple  margarita flavored cupcakes (ew) in the box. And I remember Robyn liking them. What a weirdo.

Pink Lemonade Cupcakes

So I wasn’t surprised when she decided to go pink lemonade on me with this recipe, but I did roll my eyes really hard. I grumbled and bitched about how awful it was going to taste and put everything about making them off until the last minute.  Maybe we should just try to find a recipe for the most perfect vanilla cupcake, eh?

Pink Lemonade Cupcakes

Shirley was bound and determined to help me get these damn cupcakes done and I’m pretty sure that it was just so she wouldn’t have to listen to me bitch about it anymore. I was howling when I found out that my 72-year-old mom had no idea what lemon zest was. Yes, this is my mother and the woman who was supposed to have taught me how to cook. To say she was having difficulty is an understatement and I sure did hold my breath when she grabbed that paring knife to get the zest off that micro-planer. Especially when she dropped it and almost impaled poor Sadie. The very worst part? I’m pretty sure we have used lemon zest in other recipes on here. Is my mother having a moment?

Pink Lemonade Cupcakes

My first action shot of the entry!  Whee!

Pink Lemonade Cupcakes

Cake batter with pink lemonade mix and lemon zest (which sorta kinda looks like cumin because I am that much of a great photographer).  Who has an expensive camera and still doesn’t know how to use it?

Pink Lemonade Cupcakes

After I mixed it up I wasn’t impressed with how it looked so I decided to add some gel food coloring. Pretty, huh?

Pink Lemonade Cupcakes

Blahblahblah, right? I decided to switch things up after I made the first round of cupcakes so I added blueberries (tossed in flour) to the last of the cupcake batter before I tossed it in the oven. Everybody knows that blueberries and lemon go great together. Right, Phaedra?

Pink Lemonade Cupcakes

This is me making the frosting and forgetting to take a picture until the last minute. Ugh!

Pink Lemonade Cupcakes

I decided to use a plastic storage bag instead of a pastry bag so I could just throw it away when I was done.

Pink Lemonade Cupcakes

Big Mistake.  After this happened I remembered that I tried this before and the plastic storage bag didn’t hold up. I’m a clumsy ox on a good day so you can just imagine the freaking mess I had going on here.  I’m also a stupid ox for doing this before and not learning my lesson.

Pink Lemonade Cupcakes

Man down!

Of course it had to have been one that was already frosted.

Pink Lemonade Cupcakes

I tried to make my cupcakes as pretty as the ones that lady had on her page, but get real. It’s a cupcake and I couldn’t be bothered because it felt too much like crafting to me.

The most shocking thing? Everybody liked these cupcakes! They liked the normal ones and they liked the ones that I put blueberries in. The recipe is definitely a winner in this house. Do I think I’ll make them again? Maybe someday if I am completely over normal cupcakes. But I just don’t know if it’s worth the hassle of tracking down pink lemonade mix and lemonade concentrate. Eh, I guess I’m on the fence about it.  They’re good.  Not great.  I would probably just stick with chocolate, white or yellow.

Pink Lemonade Cupcakes

Besides, look what it did to poor Felina!

Pink Lemonade Cupcakes - Nance and Robyn make the same recipe
 
Prep time
Cook time
Total time
 
: Dessert, Snack
Cuisine: Zimbabwe-an
Serves: 12
Ingredients
  • Cake:
  • 1 Box of white cake mix + whatever ingredients the box calls for (usually eggs, oil, water)
  • 1 tsp lemon zest (use fresh if you're fancy; the dried stuff from the grocery store if you're not)
  • 2 tsp vanilla extract
  • 3 Tbsp sweetened pink lemonade drink powder (I'd avoid the stuff with artificial sweetener, but you do what's in your heart)
  • Frosting:
  • 1 lb. powdered sugar
  • 3-5 Tbsp frozen pink lemonade concentrate, melted
  • 1 tsp vanilla
  • ½ C softened butter
Instructions
  1. Make your cake:
  2. Preheat the oven according to the instructions on the box.
  3. If you're making cupcakes, line your muffin tin with cupcake liners. If you're making a cake, spray your cake pan with Baker's Joy or Pam or whatever cheap knockoff you use. NO JUDGEMENT HERE.
  4. Mix cake batter following the instructions on the back of the box; add in lemon zest, vanilla, and pink lemonade powder. Bake according to the instructions on the box.
  5. Cool.
  6. Make your frosting:
  7. Beat the softened butter on med-high speed until it's pale and creamy; about 2 - 3 minutes.
  8. Reduce speed and add powdered sugar ½ cup at a time. Make sure the powdered sugar is well incorporated before you add the next ½ cup of sugar. When all the sugar has been added, turn the speed to high.
  9. Add vanilla and then melted pink lemonade concentrate until you've reached your desired consistency.
  10. Beat until the frosting is smooth.

 

CORE Salsa Meatloaf

I don’t recall where I found this recipe, but I know it’s been many years since I did. In fact, I think Fred sent it to me because he spotted it in some forum and thought it sounded good. I used to make it all the time, and then the recipe disappeared from my recipe box and I hadn’t made it for years. Then recently, I stumbled across it again, and made it.

I had forgotten how good it is! In fact, when Nance and I made meatloaf earlier this year or last year, or whenever the hell we made it, I declared that that was my go-to meatloaf recipe forevermore. But the good thing about the CORE Salsa Meatloaf is that it’s got shredded veggies in it, which means it’s good for you!

If you’re on Weight Watchers, it is also Weight Watchers CORE program compliant. I’d love to tell you exactly what that means, but I haven’t got a clue. I assume it’s a good thing?

Anyway. Your ingredients:

Core meatloaf (2)

Ground beef, egg whites, shredded zucchini, carrots, and onion, Worchestershire sauce, garlic, salt and pepper, oatmeal, and thyme. Also, salsa – but warning: I didn’t use the salsa because I had a better idea for the topping.

Really, aren’t all meatloaf recipes pretty much the same? Throw all the ingredients in a bowl and mix them up.

Core meatloaf (3)

When the ingredients are well-mixed, shape them it all into a loaf and put it in a loaf pan; bake. As an aside (and to use our brand-spanking-new Amazon affiliate link, woohoo!), I have this meat loaf pan. I like it because it allows the grease from your meatloaf to drain through into the bottom pan, and thus you’re consuming less of the grease and fat. I CALL THAT AWESOME.

Core meatloaf (4)

I veered away from the recipe. The original recipe says after the meatloaf has baked for 40 minutes, spread 1/2 cup of salsa on top of the meatloaf and cook another 20 minutes.

I didn’t do that, because salsa on meatloaf is just gross to me. I know, I’m a picky bitch.

What I did was steal the idea for the topping from the meatloaf Nance and I made, the 1/4 c. ketchup, 1/4 c. BBQ sauce and 2 T. brown sugar, spread that on top of the meatloaf and then cooked it another 20 minutes.

It was DIVINE.

Core meatloaf (5)
Look – NO ONE takes a decent picture of meatloaf. IT CANNOT BE DONE.

You know how sometimes meatloaf is just a big, solid mass of meat? This meatloaf is much less dense, and it’s tasty and it’s chock-full of veggies, and really just SO good. Give it a try – shredding the veggies is a pain in the ass, but it’s very much worth it, I promise!

 

CORE Salsa Meatloaf
 
Prep time
Cook time
Total time
 
: Entree
Cuisine: Weight Watchers
Serves: 8
Ingredients
  • 4 egg whites (or ½ c. pasteurized egg whites) (or two whole eggs)
  • 1 c. old-fashioned oats
  • 1 onion, grated
  • 1 c. grated zucchini
  • ¾ c. grated carrot
  • 4 cloves garlic, minced
  • 1 t. Worcestershire sauce
  • ½ tsp salt
  • ½ tsp each dried thyme and pepper
  • 1¼ lbs extra-lean ground beef
  • ½ c. salsa
Instructions
  1. Throw everything but salsa in a big bowl; mix together well. Don't be a priss; use your hands to mix that stuff up.
  2. Place in a greased loaf pan. Bake at 350ºF for 40 minutes. Spread salsa over top (see note below if baked salsa on top of meat grosses you out); bake an additional 20 minutes. Makes 8 servings.
  3. Note: as an alternate topping if you prefer not to use salsa, mix ¼ c. ketchup, ¼ c. BBQ sauce, and 2 T brown sugar. After meatloaf has baked for 40 minutes, spread on top of the meatloaf, and bake an additional 20 minutes. (If you go with this topping, the nutritional information below is incorrect.)
  4. Nutritional information (if made with the salsa topping) Per serving: 206 calories, 22 g. protein, 7 g. total fat (3 g. saturated fat), 12 g. carb, 2 g. fiber, 47 mg cholesterol, 382 mg. sodium.