Every week we’ll post a recipe that we both made. This week’s recipe was Velveeta Spicy Chicken Spaghetti, found over at Key Ingredient. Printable recipe can be found at the bottom of this post.  

Robyn’s Take:

This week’s recipe was Nance’s choice, and as usual I just glanced at the title of the recipe before I okayed it. Then when it was time to gather my ingredients and make it, I took a closer look at the recipe, saw that it called for Velveeta (I know, you’d think the name of the recipe might have tipped me off to that), and I was all:

I don’t know that I’ve never used Velveeta before, but I don’t have a problem with it. HowEVER, the snob I live with is kind of a SNOB when it comes to “Pasteurized Prepared Cheese Product”s. I originally wasn’t even going to tell him that it had Velveeta in it, but I hit a snag when I was at the grocery store. Wouldn’t you think Velveeta would be in the refrigerated cheese section? That’s where I expected to see it, but nay. It was nowhere to be found. Rather than ask a store employee where it was (I will generally just leave a grocery store instead of asking an employee for help, DO NOT JUDGE ME), I called Fred. Who was spectacularly unhelpful. I hung up the phone with his snobby “This recipe has VELVEETA in it?!” ringing in my ears and thought maybe, since it’s often used in queso dip (free surprise recipe for queso dip: melt Velveeta, mix in can of Ro-Tel, serve with tortilla chips), it might be in the chip aisle.

It was not in the chip aisle.

I was headed for the door, sailing on a wave of indignant FUCK ALL Y’ALL when I thought of one last place to look.

In the aisle where the pasta and spaghetti sauce are kept is where they keep the Velveeta. Near the pizza sauce. Near my beloved Kraft Old English Cheese (I love the SHIT out of Old English Cheese, spread on celery, and did I mention SHUT UP, YOU?)

The only other ingredients I didn’t already have at home was the can of Cream of Chicken soup, and chicken breasts.

YES. I USED STORE-BOUGHT CHICKEN.

YES. WE HAVE 7,000 CHICKENS OUT IN THE BACK FORTY.

It’s much like the cobbler’s children having no shoes, here in this house. Fred dislikes processing the chickens and I sure as shit am not going to do that, so when he does process them he processes a LOT of them. So I thought we had chicken in the freezer and didn’t realize we’d used up the rest of it, so it was kind of an emergency. Is what I’m saying.

Would you believe that there was NOT ONE CAN of Cream of Chicken soup in the soup aisle? Maybe someone somewhere had bought them all. Luckily, since the recipe calls for mushrooms anyway, I just opted to use Cream of Mushroom soup instead.

ANYway. Let’s get on with this, shall we?

Your ingredients:

Velveeta, cubed. Chicken, cut in chunks. Milk, a can of Ro-Tel, Cream of Mushroom soup, can of mushrooms. Also, angel hair pasta. The original recipe called for spaghetti, but I buy the big packs of angel hair at Sam’s, and I don’t think it makes a difference whether you use spaghetti or angel hair.

Cook your pasta.

Drain your pasta.

While the pasta is cooking, start cooking your chicken. Heat your skillet over med-high heat, spray it with cooking spray, and add the chicken. Cook, stirring, until it’s cooked through. Your mileage may vary; it took my chicken about 7 minutes to cook.

Add everything except your cooked pasta to the skillet with the chicken.

Stir everything together until the Velveeta is melted and everything is heated through.

Stir all THAT together with your cooked pasta. I used the pot I’d cooked the pasta in, so that I had room to combine it well.

Pour it into a greased 9×13 baking dish.

Bake it for 35 – 40 minutes.

Eat.

HEY LOOK, GUYS. I STILL CAN’T TAKE A DECENT FOOD PIC.

It was my plan, before we had this for dinner, that we’d eat it for dinner once, and then Fred would take the leftovers to work for lunch. I didn’t expect to HATE it, but I also didn’t expect that I’d want to eat it more than once.

I was mistaken.

Damn, it was GOOD. We ended up eating every last bit of this stuff for dinner. Even Fred, the Velveeta snob, thought it was awesome.

It’s going into the recipe box, and I’ll definitely be making this again. Good choice, Nance!

****************************************

Nance’s Take:

Things you have to know…

1. It is all of my fault that we are late with this entry.  I had one helluva weekend with an internet stranger staying here (gasp!), lots of yapping, phone calls and birthday gatherings. My plan was to complete my entry on Monday morning (I’m an early riser)…except Shirley (AKA: my mother) threw me off of my game by needing to go to the Emergency Room (she’s home now and doing better).

2. I had planned to make this dish on Friday evening (April 5th) and everything was ready when I was hit with the migraine from hell.  My mother and Rick stepped in to save my ass (probably because they were hungry) while I hid under a blanket on the couch trying to survive the mother of all headaches. I’m not sure what triggers my occasional migraines, but those of you who get them on the regular have my heartfelt sympathy. Those fuckers are something else and I wouldn’t wish them on my worst enemy.

3.  We skipped the mushrooms because Rick is allergic.

The biggest concern (discussed prior to the headache) was being able to cook the chicken without drying it out. Especially when it was going to be baked again. The women in this family are notorious for over-cooking meat, but we’re aware of it and getting a lot better.  I would also like to note that Shirley is using her stainless steel pan to do this chicken.  We got her the set at Christmas and it’s become an issue about whether or not we are allowed to use it.  Shirley loves it and is afraid we’re going to mess it up.  Hmph.  Some people have no faith in my cooking abilities.

Rick took this picture. Obviously Shirley dressed for the occasion because she’s wearing her special sweatshirt and not the tube-top.  Do you guys break your spaghetti or are we just weird? I don’t think I have ever had “long” spaghetti. I don’t order spaghetti in restaurants where I assume they leave it long because I never order things that I can make at home. Yeah, I take dining out pretty seriously. And also, since Shirley is now laid-up and under my control, I think it’s time for some beauty-girlie stuff to go on. Maybe some nail polish? Lotion? Pedicures. Yup. We’re gonna go nuts. All in the name of proving to the world that it can’t always be about tube-tops and sweat pants. Anybody want to place bets on how far I can get with the glamorizing? Just wait until I put Gram in a green mud mask. It’ll be fun. Maybe I’ll take pictures and make it an entry for here.  How To Cook Up A Lady.  Whee!

I’m pretty sure I’m going to get killed.

Oh, hello poor people. Yup, these are not name brand items. I am broke. Blame it on the vet bills.

The recipe didn’t really say how to cut up the Velveeta (HOLY HEART ATTACK, BATMAN) so Shirley went with cubes. I think. I see some rectangles in there so now I’m not sure.  Whatever.  Pro Tip:  Just cut it up so it won’t take all day to melt.  You’re welcome.

Action shot? I’m assuming due to the blur. I know my mom was loving the fact that it all got thrown in a pot because that means it’s easy. She likes that kind of shit.

After all that goddamn processed cheese melts down you toss in the pre-cooked spaghetti.

And then you mix it all together with the world’s oldest beat-up white trash looking spaghetti spoon (or whatever the hell they are called). We do have a really nice one, but nobody seems to use it. Apparently some of us are attached to things that came from the dollar store. Ahem. Ah, shit. I can’t say anything, I love that goddamn thing too. It bends where it’s suppose to and it works. But I am that type of woman that will pull out the other one if company comes. Like someone is going to be impressed with my nicer spaghetti spoon.  Yes, I know that people who are judgemental assholes are the ones that worry the most about being judged. Hi, I’m that asshole.

After Shirley mixed it all up she poured it into a greased casserole dish while Rick attempted to take an avant garde photo. Jesus H. He thinks he’s a photographer and he sucks as bad as the rest of us. But at least we know better than to use weird angles.

This is what it looked like when it was done. Weird angle compliments of Rick (no shit). Shirley did put salt and pepper on it before she baked it. Full Disclosure cause that’s how we roll!

My mother and Rick LOVED IT. Raved about how great it was, blahblahblahblah. My uncle Chuck liked it enough to yap to my aunt Gin about it. I took one forkful and was over it. An entire box of Velveeta cheese for one freaking meal? HELL NO. I obviously didn’t read the recipe when I picked it. It’ll go in the recipe book because I’ll never hear the end of it if I don’t put it in there. But there’s a pretty good chance that I’ll hide it so that this mess will never show up in our house again!