Crockpot Mongolian Beef – Nance and Robyn make the same recipe

Every week we’ll post a recipe that we both made. This week’s recipe was Crock Pot Mongolian Beef. Printable recipe can be found at the bottom of this post.  The original recipe can be found over at Very Culinary.

Robyn’s Take:

This week’s recipe was my choice. And by “my choice” what I mean is that I sent Fred a bunch of links that I’d bookmarked and told him to choose one. This is the one he chose, so if it turns out Nance’s family didn’t like it, it’s all Fred’s fault. (If it turns out they did, I get all the credit, of course.)

Your ingredients:

DCEP (2)

It was while I was assembling the ingredients for this picture that I began swearing. I am TELLING you – am I EVER going to learn to read through the ingredients before I decide on a recipe? Would that be too much to ask? Because apparently it WOULD. Ingredients I didn’t have on hand and had to find substitutes for: white wine (I used chicken broth), white wine vinegar (I used red wine vinegar), and molasses (I used honey.)

What I’m saying is that I’m apparently one of those assholes who reviews a recipe by saying “I didn’t remotely make this recipe the way I was supposed to, and it didn’t come out the way it was supposed to, and IT IS ALL THE RECIPE’S FAULT.”

So your ingredients, basically: meat, cornstarch, soy sauce, and a bunch of other shit I’m not going to list here, because that’s what the recipe is for, and I’m too lazy to type it all out.

DCEP (3) DCEP (4)

Toss your meat with the cornstarch. I started out with my meat in a smaller container, but it didn’t allow for much meat movement, so I switched to a larger container, put the lid on it, and shook it all about. Thus dirtying two containers instead of one, is what I’m saying. Because I can’t get enough of DOING THE GODDAMNED DISHES. I live for it!

DCEP (5)

Combine all the other non-meat, non-cornstarch ingredients in the crock pot and whisk them together.

DCEP (6)

Put your meat in the crock pot, and stir it all together. Turn that shit on low and ignore it for 4 hours.

While you’re waiting, you could probably do all the goddamned dishes.

DCEP (1)

“Don’t go down there. She’s doing dishes again.”

“AGAIN? How many dishes does she USE in a day?”

“She says it’s our fault. I didn’t tell her we’d eat off the floor if she’d let us and then she wouldn’t have to wash dishes. She didn’t seem like she’d be receptive to hearing that just now.”

“Humans are dumbasses.”

When it’s done, serve it over white rice (though I suspect brown rice would be good, too. If you’re into that sort of thing.)

DCEP (7)

The verdict? You know, it was really pretty good – not GREAT, but certainly GOOD – the night I made it. The leftovers, however, weren’t so good. I don’t know. It was good but not so good that I’m inclined to make it again. How’s that for noncommittal and useless? I wasn’t a big fan, but YOU might be!

***************************************

Have a recipe you want us to make? Check out this page (there’s also a link to that page up there under the banner) and follow the instructions to submit a recipe!

***************************************

Nance’s Take:

I pretty much never object to Robyn’s choices for DCEP recipes because the object of this site (besides cursing) was to force us to try new things. But I was ready to kill her when I printed out this recipe and actually read the ingredient list.

Crockpot Mongolian Beef

Note: This motherfucking recipe rode in my purse for way too long.

Crockpot Mongolian Beef

A visual of the things needed for this recipe that I did not have in my house. To say I was annoyed is an understatement.

Crockpot Mongolian Beef

We’re teetotalers around here so I knew when I went to the liquor store* that I wanted to buy the cheapest white wine they had. Does Mad-Dog 20/20 come in a white? Of course we were jumped by a saleswoman from hell and I was ready to throttle Robyn when this dumb bitch decided to school me on cooking with wine. Really? Like I no idea that people actually cook with wine! Rick could do nothing but half-grin, half-grimace at me while I half-rolled my eyes and pointed to the cheapest thing on the shelf. Hence our four-pack of tiny pinot grigio bottles!

Crockpot Mongolian Beef

The package said Top Round London Broil. I have no idea if $3.99/lb is a good price or not.

Crockpot Mongolian Beef

This is everything you need to make this recipe. I sincerely think the original recipe was the result of someone just dumping everything they found in their cupboards into the pot and hoping for a miracle.

Crockpot Mongolian Beef

Some people can take a picture of themselves and look normal. And some people look like squinty, mouth-breathing simpletons. Guess which category I’m in. Ack! I was trying to show how big this knife is that Rick bought at a yard sale many years ago. It’s huge and fabulous.  You should also be jealous of my bedazzled shirt.

Crockpot Mongolian Beef

Cuts right through it like butter. Here’s where I confess that I was going to use an electric knife because I don’t know what the hell I’m doing when it comes to cutting meat. This is the very first time I have ever used this big knife and we have had it for years.  I should be ashamed about this fact, but see above bedazzled shirt.  I have no pride.

Crockpot Mongolian Beef

This picture is kinda gross if you think about it too much.

Crockpot Mongolian Beef

I put Shirley (aka:mom) to work getting the meat coated with corn starch.  And I took this picture to prove that I don’t lie when I say Shirley likes to wear her tube-tops with sweatpants. I drew the red-line to show where the tube-top ends and the sweatpants begin. I can’t figure out how she got the colors to match up like that. It’s amazing and horrifying all at the same time.

Crockpot Mongolian Beef

I started measuring and dumping everything into the crockpot. If you don’t mind measuring and dumping a LOT of things, you’ll find this recipe pretty easy. If you do mind, you’re shit out of luck because there are a lot of things to get out, measure, and return to their proper place. I’m really just saying that this could be considered a work-out depending on the size of your kitchen and how much you swing your arms.

Crockpot Mongolian Beef

I’m getting ready to whisk all that crap together.

Crockpot Mongolian Beef

This is the only action shot I took.

Crockpot Mongolian Beef

This is the point where I started to think about the pizza we were going to have to order for dinner. I really didn’t have much hope for this mess. At all.

Crockpot Mongolian Beef

It was delicious!  Great flavor, tender meat and just enough heat to make it interesting.  Every single person in the house (including the teenager) loved it so I know we’ll be having it again.

Robyn picked a winner!

*Pennsylvania is really behind the times when it comes to selling wine in grocery stores.  

Crockpot Mongolian Beef - Nance and Robyn make the same recipe
 
Prep time
Cook time
Total time
 
: Entree
Cuisine: Crocklandian
Serves: 4
Ingredients
  • 1½ pound flank steak or ball tip steak (if you can't find either of those, I'd give London Broil a try)
  • ¼ c cornstarch
  • ½ c soy sauce (low sodium or gluten-free)
  • ¼ c white wine (you can substitute chicken broth)
  • ¼ c cooking sherry
  • ½ T white wine vinegar (or red wine vinegar if you don't have white wine vinegar on hand)
  • 1 tsp sesame oil
  • 1 tsp molasses (or honey!)
  • 1 tsp dried ginger
  • 1 tsp dried onion
  • ¼ tsp black pepper
  • ½ tsp red chili flakes
  • 3 T brown sugar
  • ½ T peanut butter
  • 3 cloves minced garlic
  • 4 scallions, sliced thin
Instructions
  1. Slice the meat thinly and coat with cornstarch - discard any excess cornstarch.
  2. Put all the liquids, spices, peanut butter, garlic and scallions into the crock pot and whisk together. Add meat and stir to coat.
  3. Cover and cook on low for 4 hours. Serve over white or brown rice.

Comments now closed: Spammers suck.

Hot Honeyed Spare Ribs

Every week we’ll post a recipe that we both made. This week’s recipe was Hot Honeyed Spare Ribs by Sandra Lee of Food Network Fame.

Nance’s take:

It was my turn to pick the recipe for the week. Boo-yah!  No healthy eating and/or vegetables up in this hizzy!  And if you thought that my recipe choice was well thought out and done with thorough research you are just nothing but Chris Brown wrong.  I picked this type of recipe out because I had a package of ribs in my freezer and was completely over eating anything that involved chicken or ground beef.  I chose this particular recipe because I googled rib recipe images and it caught my eye.  I’m easy that way (insert whore joke here, I don’t mind).  I also have to admit that I don’t watch Food Network television so the only thing I really know about Sandra Lee is that she apparently likes the alky-haul.  Whatevs, I’m not judging.  I save my judging for bloggers that end up on video because whoa, seeing that fake shit makes me so uncomfortable.  Just type your words, fixate on your husband’s ass and stay off of video because YOU. CANNOT. ACT.

So yeah.  RIBS.  I finally looked  at the recipe after it was all settled between Robyn and I that it was going to be the recipe we would do together.  And that’s when  I realized that I didn’t have all of the ingredients that I needed.  I also didn’t know what one of the ingredients was.  Chili Garlic sauce.  The fuck?  I had to google it.  And I did find out that you can buy the stuff at Walmart, but Rick was going in a different direction (I was having him pick the stuff up while he was out).  I told him that any brand would do as long as it was Chili Garlic Sauce.

019

I ended up with this. Apparently Rick is dyslexic. But I don’t think that it matters. We’re trying to eat a little healthier (says she who picked ribs) so I had him get the lighter dressing.

025

This is my homemade broiler (cookie rack/cookie sheet). I had a beautiful one that I gave to the thrift store because I never used it. I hate broiling anything because I usually burn foods (I get bored and walk away) or it makes a mess of my oven. Blech, to the broiling. You’ll see why I changed my mind about broiling at the end of this entry.

027

I’m also easing up on the sugar in this house. We use Splenda when we can and this is our favorite brand of “artificial” honey. It’s sold at Walmart and it’s cheap.

029

I just threw all of the ingredients in a measuring cup (that’s a two cup one) because measuring honey is a pain in the ass so I started with it in the bottom. I knew that once I mixed it all up it would come out easily with a spatula and save me from a sticky mess.

036

Once I dumped it all over my pre-broiled ribs (crock pot was sprayed with cooking spray, of course) I was pretty sure this recipe was going to be a total flop. When I walked past it I would try to baste it because I was worried that the meat would have no flavor.  I can honestly say that I was getting PISSED that I wasted good money on a shitty recipe. After I splashed myself with the sauce for the third time I said the hell with it and walked away.

037

And that’s when things started to get good. I should have left it the hell alone from the very beginning and let it do its thing!

038

Once cooked, my runny mess turned into a delicious sauce. And the ribs came off the bone like butter.

040

Crappy picture by my husband. I was too busy shoving my piehole with this deliciousness to even bother taking a picture. I like some spice to my food. Not a lot because I don’t want to have my taste buds burned off, or have to suck down Tums or Prilosec after I eat. This had just enough heat to let me know it was there, but it was really about the flavor. Everyone in the house liked this (except my mother who does not eat ribs, weirdo).

It will definitely be in the mealtime rotation because it’s a great way to do ribs when you can’t do them on the grill. Just follow the directions, have a little faith and don’t mess with ’em!

*****************************************************************
*****************************************************************

 Robyn’s take:

I will be honest with y’all, when I looked at the list of ingredients and saw Catalina dressing on there, I was like “Uh… really?” Because while I like Catalina dressing on a salad (it’s what I always get at a salad bar!), I wouldn’t have guessed it to be a terrific ingredient when it comes to ribs. But then, I rarely make ribs and when I do, I toss them in the crock pot with BBQ sauce and call it good enough, so what do I know?

First of all, the recipe calls for “baby back ribs, cut in 1/2.” This sent me into a slight tizzy because we had ribs in the freezer – ribs from our very own pigs – but what was the difference between those ribs and baby back ribs? I decided to look at baby back ribs at the grocery store, and if there was some huge, visible difference between those and what we had on hand, I’d go with the baby back ribs. Well, I couldn’t find anything labeled “baby back ribs” at the grocery store, so using our own ribs was what I ended up doing.

Gratuitous ingredients shot:

DSC06130

(The low-sodium soy sauce is missing from this picture.)

Like Nance, I had no idea what Chili Garlic Sauce was. I got in my head that it was something I’d find in the marinade section. So I stood there for about ten minutes looking and looking for something that said Chili Garlic Sauce on it, and nothin’. I was getting frustrated and on the verge of texting Nance to be all “WTF?” when I remembered that I have a smart phone, so I Googled around and found that I’d do better off looking in the Asian section. I looked, and whattaya know, there it was. I think it’s funny that Nance and I both ended up with the exact same brand. Same brand of dressing, too! Here’s a handy tip when it comes to dressings (same holds true for cheeses) : reduced calorie is fine, but for god’s sake, don’t ever buy the fat free stuff. It tastes like plastic, and I am not even kidding you.

I actually had to broil my ribs in two batches, because I ended up with more than four pounds of ribs (and also, they weren’t cut in half like the recipe called for because I could only imagine that I’d have hacked my thumb off in the process).

DSC06139
I do actually have a broiling pan, aren’t you jealous? I’ve used it maybe three times, ever.

Nance’s idea of using a big measuring cup to mix up the sauce is a good one – I didn’t think of that, so I mixed everything up in a smallish bowl while the first batch of ribs were broiling. Then as I put each section of ribs into the crock pot, I poured some sauce over each, front and back, so I wouldn’t need to do any stirring.

DSC06143

I was afraid that the sauce wouldn’t thicken up, but right around 3 hours, it got nice and thick. I took my ribs out at the 3 1/2 hour mark to let them cool a bit, while I made our side dishes (rice and veggies).

DSC06170

DSC06173
As you can see, I put some of the sauce over my rice.

The verdict? Really, really good. Both Fred and I liked it a LOT. We don’t eat ribs very often, and in the past we’ve only eaten them because we had them in the freezer. I don’t know that we’re going to eat ribs more often in the future, but when we have them (I believe we’ve got another couple of packs of ribs left over from the previous pig), this is going to be the go-to recipe.

I love that we’re going to probably get another two meals out of this. The best part of living in a house with two people? You don’t have to cook as often!

Two thumbs up to the ribs. Obviously Nance needs to pick our recipes more often!

PS: I think a heaping tablespoon of minced garlic would have been a nice addition, too.

 

Hot Honeyed Spare Ribs
 
Original Source/Author:
: Main
Ingredients
  • 4 pounds baby back ribs, cut in ½
  • 1 tablespoon garlic salt
  • 1 teaspoon black pepper
  • ½ cup honey
  • ¼ cup low-sodium soy sauce
  • ¼ cup chili garlic sauce
  • 1 cup Catalina dressing
  • 1 teaspoon ground ginger
Instructions
  1. Preheat broiler. Line bottom portion of broiler pan with foil for easy clean up. Spray top rack lightly with cooking spray.
  2. Season ribs with garlic salt and pepper. Broil for 5 to 6 minutes, turn and broil for an additional 5 to 6 minutes. Place browned ribs in slow cooker.
  3. In a mixing bowl, stir together remaining ingredients. Pour sauce mixture over ribs. Move ribs around to make sure they are all coated. Cover and cook on High setting for 3 to 4 hours or Low for 8 hours.
  4. With tongs, remove ribs from slow cooker and let cool slightly before cutting into individual rib pieces. Skim grease from sauce. Serve ribs with sauce on the side.

 

Robyn & Nance try the same recipe – Honey Sauced Chicken

Every Monday, we’ll post a recipe that we both made. This week’s recipe was from   Chelsea at Mmm…Cafe.

Nance’s take:

This week it was Robyn’s turn to pick the recipe.  I was kind of nervous because I’m well aware that Robyn is a huge lover of vegetables.  Now my favorite vegetable is corn (with lots of butter) with my second being potatoes (also with lots of butter).  Robyn eats stuff like squash and okra on a regular basis (and she doesn’t even have the sense to deep fry it).  I think you get where I’m coming from here.  One of us is way more healthier than the other.  Ahem.  I was also in a tizzy because the only rule (for lack of a better word) that I dictated about this venture is no seafood (I hate seafood more than I hate my ex-husband and that’s saying some shit).  Now before you all get yourselves into a snit please note that the rule is only for the tandem recipes.  Miz Robyn may post as many seafood recipes as she would want on here.  She just can’t make me cook them.  Heh.

So the first recipe that Robyn threw at me:  Some kind of garlic shrimp mess and OHHELLNO!  I suppose I should add that I didn’t tell Robyn of the no seafood rule because I figured she would already know that…because we’re friends and friends don’t let friends eat stuff that lives in its own toilet!  Some friend she is.  Hmph.

After a flurry of emails denouncing seafood, etc., she sent me her second choice recipe.  Honey Sauced Chicken.  I was all happy because I like honey and I like chicken!  And then I saw the soy sauce and I was all, “Oh, barf!”   But I decided to suck it up because nobody likes a big baby (or a picky eater).  Wah, wah, wah.

I’m one of those knuckleheads that only reads the ingredient list when looking at a recipe.  The other stuff is what happens when you actually go to make it.  So I never realized that it was supposed to be made in a crock-pot until about 5:30.  Oops!  Fortunately, she includes instructions on how to make it a 30 minute meal.  So that’s what I did.

There are days when things that I do in the kitchen are effortless.  And then there are days when it has to be a todo.  Can you guess what day this was?  I’ll give you a hint.  Iced tea AND coffee cup sitting in my area.  I was obviously having a time of it.  And things didn’t get any better once I realized that I sprayed my dish with Pam…for baking!  I wiped it out and started over.  Sigh.  The recipe doesn’t even call for doing that, but I wasn’t about to have a sticky (hello, honey!) mess all burned up in my dish (I tend to ignore things once I put them in the oven, including the oven timer at times, heh) so I took the extra precaution.

I also doubled the recipe (there are four of us eating).  We (and by we I mean Rick because he’s the resident math dork over here) figured out that 3/4 of a pound of chicken doubled would be about two of those giant chicken breasts you get at Sam’s club.

I was an adult before I liked honey. Isn’t it weird how your taste changes over the years?

This is what it looked like before I put it in the oven. I have to admit I was a little nervous because I had visions of serving up a hearty bowl of soy soup.

I spooned it over rice and was pretty dubious about the whole mess because the sauce had not thickened like I expected it to. I had it in my head that it was going to be like Chinese take-out Sweet and Sour chicken. I then remembered once eating General Tso’s chicken over shredded lettuce so I decided to try it that way.

It was FABULOUS. And the rice eaters loved it too! Everyone agreed that it should go into our family meal rotation and that right there is a freaking miracle!

******************************************************************************************************************

******************************************************************************************************************

Robyn’s Side

Okay, look. To be fair, when I suggested the garlic shrimp recipe to Nance, I DID say “I know you hate seafood, so probably not this one?”

I’m pretty sure that “lover of vegetables” is going to need to go on my tombstone because that cracked me up. I have a friend (this is not Nance I’m talking about, for the record) who eats vegetables so rarely that when she does, it’s a noteworthy event and a couple of weeks ago she posted on Facebook that she’d eaten a salad for dinner and we were all “!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Also, she loathes peas and considers their existence to be a personal affront.

Anyway.

I have a habit of seeing a recipe that looks interesting to me, and printing it out. I have a stack of recipes at least six inches high, dating back three or four years (every so often I go through them and admit that there are several that I’m never going to make), and so when it was my turn to choose a recipe, I grabbed my stack and picked one I thought Nance might be okay with.

(Fred is not super crazy about soy sauce, and since Nance and Fred think alike about MANY things – I’m pretty sure they were separated at birth – I wasn’t sure Nance would go for it. But she decided to be adventurous!)

Your ingredients:

DSC02164

I’d already chopped up the chicken (and salt and peppered it) earlier in the day because I like to get the annoying prep stuff done beforehand. 3/4 pounds of chicken breasts equaled three chicken breasts from our (free-range) chickens. You’ve also got honey (the big-ass bottle from Sam’s. How often do I use honey? How many years do you think I’ll be using honey from that bottle, for god’s sake? It’s already at least a year old! I love Sam’s, but there are some things a two-person household doesn’t really need to buy in bulk). There’s soy sauce, 1/8 cup chopped onion, ketchup, minced garlic, red pepper flakes, and the big-ass bottle of olive oil from Sam’s. The recipe calls for vegetable oil, but the generic “vegetable oil” we have on hand smells funny so I opted for the olive oil.

This recipe really could not be easier – put the chicken in the baking dish, mix up the sauce and pour it over, stick the whole thing in the oven.

(The recipe I printed out has crock pot instructions, but I’m trying to convince y’all that I can make dinner without using the crock pot, so I opted for the oven instructions.)

DSC02166

I hate handling raw chicken, by the way. It ooks me out.

Bake for 10 minutes, stir it, bake another 10, and voila it is ready. We had ours over angel hair.

DSC02169

Fred’s not a huge fan of rice, he’ll always prefer pasta if given the choice. I really like Nance’s idea of eating it over chopped lettuce and will probably give that a try next time around.

I really liked this a lot – Fred, on the other hand, was more lukewarm about it. I think he might like it more if the sauce was thicker, so next time I make it I’m going to add some cornstarch to the sauce and see if I can’t get it to thicken up a bit. If I can’t get him to like it as much as I do, I’ll likely add it to my own personal rotation and eat it for lunches during the week. Two thumbs up from me, and a “Meh” from Fred, that picky motherfucker.

 

Robyn & Nance try the same recipe - Honey Sauced Chicken
 
Prep time
Cook time
Total time
 
Original Source/Author:
: Entree, Main, Chicken
Serves: 2
Ingredients
  • ¾ lb chicken (we used boneless skinless chicken breasts)
  • ½ tsp salt
  • ¼ tsp black pepper
  • ½ c. honey
  • ¼ c. soy sauce
  • ⅛ c. chopped onion (or 1/16 c. onion flakes)
  • ⅛ c. ketchup
  • 1 T vegetable oil
  • 1 clove minced garlic
  • ¼ t red pepper flakes
Instructions
  1. Season both sides of chicken with salt and pepper. Put into crock pot.
  2. Mix remaining ingredients and pour over the chicken.
  3. Cook on low for 3 hours or high 1½ hours.
  4. Remove chicken from the crock pot, cut into bite sized pieces, then return to pot and toss with sauce.
  5. Serve over rice or noodles or shredded lettuce.
  6. Baking instructions:
  7. Season chicken with salt and pepper; dice into bite-sized pieces.
  8. Place chicken in 8x8 pan.
  9. Mix remaining ingredients in small bowl; pour over chicken.
  10. Bake at 350 for 20 minutes, stirring halfway through.