Amanda’s Pearl-Clutching Cake – Nance and Robyn make the same recipe

Every week we’ll post a recipe that we both made. This week’s recipe was Amanda’s Pearl-Clutching Cake. Printable recipe can be found at the bottom of this post.

Robyn’s Take:

This week’s recipe was submitted by reader Nanc in Ashland, who said:

This particular recipe came out of my Mom’s box o’ recipes. She still has the grease laden typed original. We no longer have that typewriter but I suppose it doesn’t matter. If you need it for legal protection, I can get a picture of that sucker and send it off, but I’ve made it so many times over the years I have it memorized.

I suspect the original recipe came out of a one of those happy-homemaker type magazines from the late 50s or early 60s (that’s the mid-20th century for those of you too young to remember) and if you search “sherry wine cake” on ye olde World Wide Web you’ll get a ton of hits with slight variations and attributed to a variety of sources.

Since this is the 21st century and we can do such things, I thought I’d rename the recipe in honor of everyone’s favorite DCEP commenter as it has three things guaranteed to make the title a reality: 1. Packaged cake mix, 2. Instant pudding mix, 3. Booze.

I can’t wait to see your take on Amanda’s Pearl-Clutching Cake, appropriate for family dinners, church potlucks, office birthday parties (I make this for my boss’s birthday every year) and children’s slumber parties (the booze bakes out but it’s the chaperones who eat it all)

With a name like that, how could we NOT make this recipe, I ask you!

So first of all, Nancy suggests a tube pan rather than a Bundt pan when making this cake. When I realized I didn’t have a tube pan, I up and ordered one off of Amazon – this one – because a tube pan seems like something I might want to have on hand for the future. Also, it was an impulse purchase. DAMN you, Amazon, for making it SO EASY to impulse buy!

Then, as I was gathering everything to make the cake, I realized that it calls for “cream sherry” rather than the cooking sherry I had on hand. That’s what I get for skimming, LIKE I ALWAYS DO. So off to the grocery store I went, and went up and down and up and down and UP and DOWN the baking aisle, assuming that that’s where the cream sherry would be. BUT NAY. Finally I rubbed two brain cells together and thought to check in the wine aisle, and there it was.

So THEN I was gathering my supplies to make the cake, and I realized that (1) the cake mix had pudding already in the mix, and (2) the instant vanilla pudding mix I had was the big box, not the small. I ordered Fred to run over to the dollar store (so close that I can see it from the front porch) to buy a cake mix that did NOT have pudding in it.

He came back with a box of these:

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I don’t really get the Moon Pie love, I assume because I didn’t grow up eating them. On the other hand, Fred doesn’t get the whoopie pie love (I often mock him for that), so I guess we’re even.

So the dollar store didn’t have cake mix without pudding in it. I debated running into town to buy a box of the correct stuff, but I was getting so annoyed that I decided to just use the cake mix I had, and hopefully it would work out.

Your ingredients:

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Yellow cake mix, vegetable oil, cream sherry, nutmeg, eggs.

It’s pretty simple, to Amanda’s dismay. Mix together the cake mix, pudding, and nutmeg. Then mix in the eggs and oil.

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Don’t forget the sherry!

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Okay, it’s maybe obvious that all I did was throw everything into the bowl at once, and mix it all together. I’m a rebel like that (could someone get Amanda to the fainting couch, please?)

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While that was mixing, I prepared the tube pan by greasing it up with Crisco, since that’s how Nancy prefers it.

Everyone knows the trick of using a sandwich baggie to protect your delicate fingers from the greasiness of Crisco, yes? I’m sure you do, I just thought I’d toss it out there for anyone who didn’t. You grease the pan and then toss the sandwich bag in the trash, because you hate the planet and want to smother it in plastic, you asshole.

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Pour the batter into the greased pan, and put it in the oven.

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Then after you’ve washed the dishes, take a kitten break.

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“If you are very very nice, Scorch will let you play with the straw, lady.”

“This is all going very well,” I said to myself as I played with kittens. “I hope this cake is good!”

And then.



10 minutes into the baking, THE GODDAMN POWER WENT OUT. I swore, I stomped, I swore some more, but none of that made the power come back on. And although USUALLY when our power goes off it comes almost immediately back on – in April of 2011, when most of the area was without power for days and days due to tornadoes ripping through the area, we were without power for only 5 hours – this time, it stayed off.

For an hour.

I didn’t even look at that goddamn cake until the power had been back on for about 10 minutes. Then I remembered it, and I opened the oven door, expecting to see a half-baked cake sitting there glaring up at me.

You know what?

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It was, like, PERFECTLY done. I poked a toothpick into it, and the toothpick came out clean. I sliced it, and it was perfectly baked. Seriously, y’all, what the fuck? That’s not how baking works!… is it?

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The verdict? It was pretty good! I could taste the sherry flavor, which was tastier than I expected. Fred, who had told me up front that he wasn’t going to touch the cake because ewwwwww, it has alllllcohol in it, and heeeeeeee doesn’t like alcohol based caaaaaakes, ewwwwww (imagine me saying all that in a whiny-baby voice as I mocked him), even Fred tried it and admitted that it had a good flavor.

Will I make it again? Probably – I’ve gotta use up that sherry somehow!

Thanks for the submission, Nancy!

PS: Nanc in Ashland said that you can vary the taste of the cake by using dry or sweet sherry, or you could also use white cake mix and Irish Cream, chocolate cake mix and creme de cocoa or Kahlua, or any other combination of cake mix flavors and booze.


Have a recipe you want us to make? Check out this page (there’s also a link to that page up there under the banner) and follow the instructions to submit a recipe!


Nance’s Take:

Shout-out to Robyn for finally fixing this damn website. Good help is so hard to find.  Sigh.

Cream Sherry Cake

Please note the blue arrow on this box. It’s pointing out the one thing that should not be in the cake mix you use for this recipe.  NO PUDDING IN THE CAKE MIX, you dum-dum!  Truth is, I skimmed the recipe when I read it and figured any ol’ yellow cake mix would do. Regarding submitted recipes:  I’m the type of girl that needs ALL CAPS to SPELL OUT the IMPORTANT PARTS (Translation: I am the dumbest dummy in all of Dumbville).  YELL AT ME, DAMMIT.  But only on the important parts.  Otherwise I’ll be pissy because I hate being yelled at.

I figured that I would just have to bake it a little longer to ward off all that extra “moistness” in this super moist cake. Here is where I go off-topic to tell you that my friend, Shelley (aka: Shelleyness™), once used the word moist to describe a male blogger. I have never, ever been able to hear or see the word moist without thinking about both of them since then. No need to ask who it is because if you actually think about all of the male bloggers you know, the one in which the word moist could apply is the one that I am talking about. Hee!

Thanks for the memories, Shelley Anne.

Cream Sherry Cake

Y’all know that we don’t drink much around here so it’s no surprise that I have never used Cream Sherry. But I rolled up in the liquor store and bought myself the cheapest bottle ($5.99) they had. Like a boss.

Cream Sherry Cake

There really isn’t much to show regarding this recipe. Here I am mixing the Sherry into the cake mix concoction. The highlight, if one were sadistic, would have been my holding the mixer with my left hand while taking pictures with my right. Ohh, Danger Kitchen! Okay, I did try to remove those beaters with my fingers while it was still plugged in but in my defense…I couldn’t figure out the eject button!  Rick just gave me That Look that says he thinks I’m stupid, but he’s smart enough not to say it out loud.

Cream Sherry Cake

Felina did not appreciate my pointing out that her princess ass never touches the floor thanks to Sadie. I may have also said that her ass was fat.  Sometimes the truth hurts.  They’re both getting pretty bored with this recipe because there was absolutely no chaos in the kitchen.

Rumor has it that Amanda thinks we’re the MySpace of food blogs.  As if.

Cream Sherry Cake

True Confession: I had to google what a tube-pan was. I had no idea. To me, this is an angel-food pan. The other one we have is a bundt cake pan. DCEP teaches me new things and Amanda has the nerve to snark? What an ignoramus. Her. Not me. Why? Because I can learn new things. If you think you already know everything, you can’t learn anything new. Who’s the dum-dum now, Amanda?

Also note: I greased AND floured the shit out of that pan because I had no idea what was going to happen with this cake.

Cream Sherry Cake

Presenting: Shirley’s entirely new tube-top combo. Green with purple…wait for it…scrubs! No, Shirley is not a nurse and has never worked in any part of the medical field. I had a haaaaaaard childhood. I like to think that she wore this as a homage to DCEP, but I know better. She just has fabulous taste and knows that green and purple is a wonderful color combination. That Shirley. She is a fashion plate.

Cream Sherry Cake

This is what it looked like after 42 minutes in my oven. I ended up using a bamboo skewer as my toothpick tester because it was long enough to hit the center of the cake. The top is shiny, but it’s not moisture. I’m guessing all the extra eggs might have something to do with it, but what the hell do I know of eggs and shine?

Cream Sherry Cake

Close up of the not-wet top. AKA: Artistic food photography by one of The Best. Take note, Amanda.  It’s not everybody that can take such great photos of food.

Cream Sherry Cake

The cake was dumped out onto a plate because I was unprepared and did not have a cake platter ready. Probably because I don’t own a damn cake platter. Do you notice that flour on top of the cake. I ALWAYS get that because I ALWAYS use way too much of everything when I do the pans. I think I was in 7th grade when I had a cake get stuck inside the damn pan. Obviously I have never recovered from that particular horror.

Cream Sherry Cake

Here’s the thing about this cake – I have never tasted anything like it in my life and that’s no exaggeration. The texture of this cake is FABULOUS. It will most definitely hold any type of icing/frosting (although you really don’t need it). And according to the recipe you can make it with almost any different alcohol combinations that you can imagine.

The people in this house have repeatedly tried this cake several times and no one has made a solid decision on it yet. We’re not saying that it tastes bad, it’s just so different from any cake we’ve ever had that none of us know how to process the flavor in our brains! It may very well be because we’re not use to the Sherry. It sounds nuts, huh? But it is what it is…a cake that has a unique flavor with an incredible texture. I’m going to go ahead and suggest that you make it because even if you don’t like it, you’re only out of a few inexpensive ingredients.

Amanda's Pearl-Clutching Cake - Nance and Robyn make the same recipe
Prep time
Cook time
Total time
: Cake!
Cuisine: West Cakelandia
Serves: 12
  • 1 box yellow cake mix (without pudding)
  • 1 small box instant vanilla pudding
  • ¾ c. vegetable oil
  • ¾ c. cream sherry
  • 1 tsp nutmeg
  • 4 eggs
  1. Preheat oven to 350ºF. Prepare a tube pan (preferred) or Bundt pan by greasing, spraying, or oiling and flouring.
  2. In a large mixing bowl, mix cake mix, pudding, and nutmeg. Add eggs, oil and sherry. Beat at high speed for 4 minutes.
  3. Pour into greased pan (duh).
  4. Bake 40 - 45 minutes; cake is done when toothpick comes out clean. Turn out at once.
  5. Notes: You can vary the taste by using dry or sweet sherry. You could use white cake mix and Irish Cream, chocolate cake mix and Creme de Cocoa or Kahlua, or any other combination of cake mix flavors and booze.
  6. If you live at a high altitude, you need to add 2 T of liquid (water, milk, sherry) to the batter.
  7. Nancy says that the tube pan works best; the Bundt pan may make a drier cake.
  8. Nancy suggests greasing the pan with Crisco, but you use what you feel is right. We'll only judge you a little.



Cheese and Crackers – Nance and Robyn make the same recipe

Every week we’ll post a recipe that we both made. This week’s recipe is a favorite of both Nance and I – and we each have our own version. Nance thinks hers is the best, but she’s obviously nuts because Robyn’s is the best. Printable recipe can be found at the bottom of this post.

Robyn’s Take:

I don’t know where I found this recipe, but one thing is certain: I’ve changed it enough over time to make it ALL MINE. I should copyright it. Hell, I should get some sort of award for this easy, versatile, EASY, tasty, EASY EASY AND DID I MENTION EASY recipe. So I’m copyrighting it and I’m trademarking it and I’m attaching the baddest of the bad-ass kittens to it, so that if you DARE to serve it without giving credit to ME, this kitten will track you down and kick your ass.

“Motherfucker, I not messing. I fuck you UP. You see these claws?”

Do we understand each other? Yeah, yeah, TRY to act all nonchalant. You know you’re scared.

Okay, then. Moving on.

The ingredients:

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That’s goddamn right: I got all FANCY BITCH on your ass. I got the NAME BRAND Ritz crackers, and if that wasn’t enough, I got the Cracker Barrel brand SUPER sharp white cheddar. But if you’re a cheap motherfucker (as I usually am; I just wanted to impress you this time around. Store brand shit for the next recipe, I promise.) you can go with the store brand crackers and cheese. Or if Ritzeseses are not your preferred cracker, use whatever cracker you prefer. Are you one of those Triscuit-loving hippies? Get you some Triscuits. Do I look like I care?

“That crazy bitch not care.”

So get your crackers. And your cheese. Open the box of crackers. Take out a sleeve of crackers, open the sleeve, and place your crackers on the serving plate of your choice. I’m just going with a simple Fiesta dinner plate here, because I was such a fancy bitch with the fancy crackers and cheese that I didn’t want you to think I was a TOTAL hoity-toit.

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IMPORTANT: Place your crackers carefully on the plate, one by one. If a few of them don’t make it all the way to the plate because you’ve crammed them in your face, well, I’m not telling anyone.

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ACTION SHOT: Crackers, being placed on plate!

You can use more than one plate, and you can use as many crackers as you have cheese for. It’s your party, not mine. But keep this in mind: I recommend AT LEAST seven crackers with cheese per person. It won’t be enough, everyone will wish they had more, but leave ’em wanting more is what I say.

Now. Remove your cheese from its wrapper. Cut cheese approximately 1/8″ – 1/4″ thick. This is a FORGIVING recipe and it’s – perhaps I mentioned? – EASY, so if you cut your cheese (snicker) a little too thick or too thin, it’s OKAY. The cops aren’t going to bust down your door and arrest you for cutting the cheese (snort) too thickly or too thinly. Cutting the cheese (titter) to your preferred thickness is one of your inalienable rights – it is IN THE CONSTITUTION right below the right to snorgle kitten bellies when they are presented to you –

“CAREFUL snorgleation must be performed or I MESS YOU UP.”

so GIRRRRRRL, you cut that damn cheese (chuckle) however you want.

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Continue cutting the cheese (giggle) until you have one slice of cheese for each cracker.

NOW. This is VERY important. I was smart and thought ahead, and bought the cheese that’s the perfect height and width to fit upon my crackers. If you were dumb, and you bought the cheese that’s too tall, then you’re going to have to trim the cheese to fit your crackers. You’re on your own there, dummy. I GUESS NEXT TIME YOU’LL THINK AHEAD.

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Okay, once you have a slice of cheese for each cracker (important tip: if you have too many slices, eat the extra slices. If you don’t have enough, cut some more slices. I know, right? So obvious, and yet you never would have known if I hadn’t just told you! How the hell do you get dressed in the morning without me here to give you instructions?), place one – ONE – slice of cheese upon each cracker.

Like such:

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And also:

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I’m sorry, do you SEE how perfectly I did that? Have you ever seen such perfection in your entire life?

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To recap: ONE slice of cheese PER CRACKER. Not HALF a slice per cracker. Not THREE slices per cracker. ONE.

Look, I know you’re blown away by this recipe. So simple and yet so complicated. You’re wondering to yourself, “HOW did she come up with this AMAZING recipe? BRILLIANT!” And yes, so brilliant. So simple. So complicated. I am a genius.

I know you’re probably also saying to yourself “Cheese on crackers is such an AMAZING taste sensation. I wonder if I could improve upon it?”

You cannot. You might be TEMPTED to. If you are MY HUSBAND, you’re probably already thinking wildly about ways to improve upon this recipe. “I’ll add slices of pepperoni! I’ll add a sprinkle of onion! Garlic powder! THE WORLD IS MY OYSTER.”

RESIST. Because unless you follow this recipe exactly as instructed, it is JUST WRONG, and I will send out The Enforcer to take care of you, post-haste.

“You: dead meat.”

Also, if you’ve made your cheese and crackers, you might be tempted to start eating them immediately. You are HUNGRY, and making this delicious delicacy was ARDUOUS, but nay. Eating has to wait: first, you’ve got to clean up your mess.

Scrunch the end of the cracker wrapper together. You could even tie a twist tie around if you want to, but let’s not get crazy.

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Put the partial sleeve of crackers back in the box.

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And then put the box away.

For the cheese, a sandwich bag will do. Plastic wrap would work as well, but let’s not get all crazy up in this kitchen. Make sure you label the cheese so that you know exactly what you’ve got. Put it in the cheese drawer of the fridge so that you can make this wonderful and amazing recipe again, the sooner the better.

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Now take your plate of cheese and crackers, sit down, and enjoy the fruits of your labor. You deserve it!

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And remember: You follow this recipe exactly, it’ll be an instant favorite. Everyone will request the DCEP Crackers and Cheese at EVERY gathering. But if you deviate from the recipe even one tiny little iota…

“De Enforcer will mess you up for reals, motherfuckers.”

Cheese & Crackers

Cheese and Crackers - Nance and Robyn make the same recipe
Prep time
Total time
Original Source/Author:
: Appetizer, hors d'oeuvre
Cuisine: French?
Serves: 75
  • Crackers (I prefer Ritz; you use whatever you want)
  • Cheese (I like sharp cheddar. Go with what you prefer, weirdo.)
  1. Cut cheese. Put on cracker. Eat.
  2. Happy April 1st, Fools.



Pistachio Fluff – Nance & Robyn make the same recipe

Every week we’ll post a recipe that we both made. This week’s recipe was Pistachio Fluff, found over at Secrets of a Southern Kitchen. Printable recipe can be found at the bottom of this post.  

Robyn’s Take:

This week’s recipe was Nance’s choice. I do not EVEN know what possessed her to want to make it, but I suspect that perhaps she’s baiting Amanda, who MUST be having a coronary over the idea of us calling this a “recipe.” (Who’s Amanda? Read her comment here.) We should have an “Amanda-baiting” category, shouldn’t we?

My parents were visiting last week, and Nance pointed out that Fluff is something that would be good to serve for company, so I made it for dessert one night while they were here.

I didn’t have all (well, ANY) ingredients on hand, so I asked Fred to stop at the grocery store on his way home. When he got home, he gave me the suspicious side-eye and said “Are you making Watergate Salad?”

I’d never heard of Watergate Salad, so I looked it up. Apparently Watergate Salad is very similar to Pistachio Fluff, except that Watergate Salad also has miniature marshmallows and pecans in it. In case you were wondering.

So, the ingredients:

Pistachio Fluff (1)

20 oz can of crushed pineapple, 1 pkg (3.4 oz) of pistachio pudding mix, 1 container (8 oz) Cool Whip.

Pistachio Fluff (2)

Drain your pineapple.

Pistachio Fluff (3)

Put your pineapple in a bowl or plastic container and dump the pudding mix on top.

Pistachio Fluff (4)

Stir the pudding mix and pineapple together. That is some fluorescent green shit, ain’t it? I was wondering if it was going to give me superpowers (spoiler: it didn’t. HMPH.)

Pistachio Fluff (5)

Stir in the Cool Whip, and then refrigerate for at least a couple of hours so that the flavors can blend and meld and whatever. Serve.

Pistachio Fluff (6)

The verdict? It was good. It certainly could have used miniature marshmallows and pecans, though, that probably would have made it perfect. It tasted familiar to me, so I’m thinking I’ve had it at some point in the past. My mother said she thought she’d made it before, but wasn’t sure. Will I make it again? Probably not. I had the one bowl of it, and that was enough for me.

I also sincerely doubt that Fred will request it, though perhaps he’ll have a flashback to his church days (you KNOW they serve big vats of this stuff at church functions) and start asking for it. (Doubt it.)

PS: This would have been a good recipe to have on St. Patrick’s Day, actually. Wish I’d thought of that!


Nance’s Take:

I was going to say that I picked this recipe because it’s a good one for Easter, but I can’t lie. I wasn’t even thinking about Easter when I was trying to figure out what recipes I needed to choose for DCEP. I was really just thinking about the food that is served at baby and wedding showers. As much as I loathe going to those functions I sure do love the food! I also grew up in the Lutheran church and that means we had a potluck dinner just about every time an old lady got a fart cross-wise (shout-out to Pap) and, of course, everybody knows that Lutherans are all about JELL-O salads and mystery fluffs.

I vaguely remember that years ago I ate one of the green concoctions and really liked it. I was determined to find the recipe for it even without having a name or ingredient list. Well. I quickly found out that the one I was thinking of so fondly was definitely not the one that involved lime JELL-O and carrots. HOLY FUCK, THAT SHIT IS GROSS. It was also not the one that has miniature marshmallows in it because I actually hate those freaking ones. Shirley loves all of them. But she’s a freaking weirdo that also loves cauliflower and will order it in a restaurant. On purpose.

Are you picking up what I’m laying down?

Thinking about all those fluffs made me think that maybe I should give Google a chance at helping me find a food from my youth. Sure enough, Google came through.


I was a little leery of it being only three ingredients with minimal directions and then I checked myself because it’s only a delicacy to my low class taste-buds.


I hate waiting for pineapple to drain. It seems to take so damn long!


Getting an action shot while trying to dump this pudding out of the package was a huge pain in the ass. I am so put-upon.


Cool colors.


How stupid am I that I used a whisk? Do not be like me.


Do not panic if you see dark things that look like bugs in there. What? I didn’t panic. I just said, “WHATTHEFUCK?!”  Really loud.

They’re pieces of nuts. Pistachio is a nut. Duh.

Hey, it was a long day.


Didn’t even try with the whipped cream. No action shot for you!


Almost looks like leprechaun diarrhea, huh?


Fancy. This from the lady that gave you the leprechaun diarrhea visual. You’re welcome.


It was really good. Really, really good. So good that I’m sure I’ll be making it again. The best part? This didn’t even take five minutes to make and that’s including the time it took for the freaking pineapple to drain.


And get real with that whole wine glass thing. Toss that shit in some Rubbermaid and call it a day.

I only put this here so that Amanda won’t put me on blast.

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Pistachio Fluff - Nance & Robyn make the same recipe
Prep time
Total time
Original Source/Author:
: dessert
Cuisine: Church?
Serves: 8?
  • 1 20 oz can crushed pineapple
  • 1 3.4 oz box Pistachio pudding mix
  • 1 8 oz container Cool Whip (or similar whipped topping)
  1. Drain pineapple. Dump pineapple into a mixing bowl or plastic container with lid (you're going to be refrigerating this stuff). Top with dry Pistachio pudding mix.
  2. Mix pineapple and pudding until well combined.
  3. Add Cool Whip and stir until well combined.
  4. Refrigerate for at least a couple of hours before serving.