Every week we’ll post a recipe that we both made. This week’s recipe was Red Lobster Cheese Biscuits in a Loaf Pan. Printable recipe can be found at the bottom of this post. The original recipe can be found over at iVillage.com
This week’s recipe was my choice. I ran across it on Pinterest and knew I had to make it, because who doesn’t love the HELL out of those little cheese biscuits from Red Lobster? And doesn’t it sound way easier to throw it in a loaf pan and bake it than making biscuits? It totally does.
(Amanda is sniffing in disdain right now and saying “Chain restaurants. Well, of course YOU PEOPLE eat at chain restaurants.”)
Milk, flour, chunks o’ cheddar, sour cream, salt, pepper, cayenne, baking powder. Not shown: melted butter.
Throw all your dry ingredients into a big bowl and whisk ’em all together.
Then toss your cheese chunks in the bowl and coat them with the flour and other dry ingredients. This somehow helps to prevent the cheese from sinking. You don’t want all your cheese to sink to the bottom of the bread, do you? No, you don’t.
In a different bowl, mix all your wet ingredients (milk, sour cream, butter, egg) together.
Throw all your wet ingredients in with your dry ingredients and mix well.
Toss it all into a loaf pan. The recipe said to “oil” the loaf pan, which I did. I recommend you use Baker’s Joy instead.
Bake that shit, and take a kitten break while it’s baking.
This is Kate and one of her five kittens, Aslan. He’s well past the age of needing to nurse, but that doesn’t stop him from harassing his mother 75 times a day. Sometimes she bunny kicks him in the head, and sometimes she gives in. Hope springs eternal for little Aslan.
This is what my loaf of bread looked like when it came out of the oven.
It barfed up some of the cheddar – but hey, at least the cheddar didn’t all sink to the bottom of the loaf, amiright?
When I went to remove it from the pan, it stuck at the bottom. Because I oiled it instead of using the stupid Baker’s Joy.
On the up side, I was able to pull that chunk out of the pan and see how the bread was instead of having to wait for the loaf to cool. DAMN it was good.
This is what a loaf of bread looks like when its cooling on a wire rack. Fascinating, no?
Then I had a brain storm (or an aneurysm, you decide). “This loaf of bread totally needs to be brushed with melted butter with garlic salt mixed in it!” I told Fred. He concurred. I said “You come mix the garlic salt in with the butter, and I’ll brush it on the bread!”
I cleaned up the dishes in the sink while Fred melted the butter and added the garlic salt. He tasted it. “This needs more!” He tasted it again. “The garlic taste just really isn’t coming through!” Finally, he’d added enough garlic salt that the butter met with his approval. I got out the pastry brush and brushed the butter on the bread.
“Let’s eat!” I said. I sliced the bread.
I took a big bite of a piece of bread.
And it was like a goddamned salt lick. Deer were crashing through the door and elbowing me out of the way to get at that shit. As it turned out, my brain surgeon of a brilliant husband was DUMPING garlic salt into the butter, the garlic salt was sinking to the bottom of the bowl, and then he was tasting the melted butter from the top of the bowl without mixing the garlic salt into what he was tasting. It was fucking VILE.
We ended up cutting the top and sides off the bread and ate what was left, but the spell was broken. He totally ruined it. He’s never allowed in my kitchen again. Fucker.
Seriously, that stuff was good. I recommend it. Just don’t let Fred help out in your kitchen.
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Truth Game: I have never been inside a Red Lobster® restaurant (I don’t like seafood). I have no idea what their cheese biscuits taste like and I have no intention of ever finding out. I have heard a lot of people rave about how good they are and I almost bought their official boxed mix (heads-up, affiliate link). The reason I didn’t buy it? Because The Olive Garden® restaurant tricked me into buying two bottles of their salad dressing and it sucked. It was so awful that it made me paranoid about buying those kind of branded items. Okay, MORE paranoid. Whatevs. If one of you guys buy it…
1. Use the affiliate link. Ha!
2. Tell us all about it!
There are many people that take issue with a lot of different things (Amanda). This recipe annoyed me when I saw that it said to “oil” the pan. Should my dumb ass be wiping the pan with an oil-soaked paper towel or could I just “grease” the pan with Crisco® like God intended? I had a flashback of 11-year-old Nance using vegetable oil and her fingers to prepare a cake pan. And I was flouring that mess, too. There was a good reason for Home Economics to be taught in school, people. And thank Christ I was forced to take it in 7th grade!
After the greasing and oiling issue I started to wonder if there are people out there that don’t know you have to level your flour when you measure it. Something so simple, yet really important.
Well, now you know. Level that shit.
I don’t think I would have this in my cupboard if it weren’t for DCEP. I have always used cayenne flakes. And no lie, I would use a mortal/pestle thing to grind it up. What rock have I been living under? Sheesh.
I didn’t even taste the cayenne powder in the biscuit, but Rick says you could. So take that however you want to because I don’t have a clue.
Felina really, really wants to be a part of the action. But she does not fit in with my artistic ideal so tough shit, little dog.
Demon cat be snorting that cayenne and exorcising like Linda Blair. Heh.
Shh…this is the whisk that came with Shirley’s (aka:mom) special stainless steel pan set. I’m totally using it behind her back. Hi, mom. You should probably find a new hiding place.
Half of 8 ounces is 4 ounces which is equal to the amount this recipe requires. I genius!
(Shout-out to Shelleyness – who I always think of whenever I use a Ziploc® Bag).
I cut the cheese (hee!) into ¼” cubes. Or what I thought ¼” cubes might look like. I sure as hell wasn’t going to measure them.
Action shot with Polish Pottery!
This is kinda gross, huh? And I need my ass kicked for trying to pour a too full bowl like that into another bowl. I got lucky this time, normally I would have had to clean up a huge mess.
This is me not over-stirring.
Color me un-impressed. It tasted okay. But cutting the biscuit loaf was a pain in the ass. Crumbs everywhere. It was also a pain in the ass to eat because hunks would break off when you lifted it. Ugh. Too much hassle/mess for me to bother with it again. I’ll pass.
- 3 c flour
- 1 T baking powder
- 1 tsp salt
- ¼ tsp cayenne pepper
- ⅛ tsp black pepper
- 4 ounces cheddar cheese, cut into ¼ inch cubes
- 1¼ c milk
- ¾ c sour cream
- 3 T melted butter
- 1 egg, beaten
- Heat oven to 350 degrees. Spray a 9x5 loaf pan with cooking spray.
- In a bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, salt, pepper, cayenne and black pepper. Add cheese cubes and stir until covered in flour mixture.
- In a separate bowl, mix the milk, sour cream, melted butter, and egg. Stir the wet mixture into the flour and cheese mixture until just combined.
- Spread dough in your prepared loaf pan. Bake for 45-50 minutes. Let cool 10 minutes and then remove from pan. Allow to cool for one hour before slicing and serving.
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