Cheddar Cheese Crackers (Nance & Robyn make the same recipe)

Every week we’ll post a recipe that we both made. This week’s recipe was Homemade Cheddar Cheese Crackers (aka Cheez-Its®), found over at Rachel Cooks. Printable recipe can be found at the bottom of this post.

Robyn’s Take:

This week’s recipe was Nance’s choice, and I have to confess: I’m not really much of a  cracker gal. When it comes to crackers, I generally stick to Ritz or Graham Crackers and once a decade or so I’ll eat some Chicken in a Biskit crackers (don’t judge). However, I don’t think I’ve ever made crackers before, and the whole idea of this site is to occasionally do new things, so I was all for it.

The ingredients are simple:

All-purpose flour, sharp cheddar, butter, salt and ground mustard (not pictured: 2 T of cold water.)

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First, shred your cheese in the food processor, since you’re going to be using it to put the dough together, anyway. I mean, you COULD shred/ grate it by hand, but why go to all that extra work?

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I shredded the cheese, then switched the shredder plate out for the blade you see in the picture.

Next, put all your other ingredients in there, and pulse ’til it looks all crumb-y.

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And then add your cold water, 1 Tablespoon at a time, and pulse ’til the dough holds together. (If you’re the doubtful sort, like me, you’ll probably think “There’s no way that’s going to get dough-like. What the fuck?”, but it works out like it’s supposed to. Imagine that.)

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Then wrap your dough in plastic wrap and stick it in the fridge for at least 20 minutes.

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You can do what you’d like with your 20 minutes. This is what I did with mine:

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Did a sink full of dishes.

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Gave some kittens their snack.

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Gave another kitten some snuggle time.

Also, not pictured: scooped litter boxes, filled bird feeders.

By the time I got back to the kitchen, it had been 25 minutes.

I am terrible, horrible, no good at rolling out dough, and the recipe specifically said that the thinner the better, so I made Fred come into the kitchen and do it for me.

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I am also horrible at cutting straight lines, so Fred did that as well. I figured, he’s an engineer, he should be better at cutting straight lines than I am, right? Yeah, okay. Keep believing that, dumbass.

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He used a pizza cutter, obviously.

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Yuh huh. Nice and straight and even.

I poked holes in each of the crackers with a toothpick.

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Put them on a parchment-lined cookie sheet.

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Bake, let cool, and then put them in a bowl to take pictures of them.

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What did the cats think?

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Norland and Russet found them interesting – in fact, I had to take the bowl away pretty quickly because Russet (the floofy one) was about to seriously try to dig in.

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Sheriff Mama said “Interesting scent, but I’m not a cheese gal.”

The verdict of the humans? They were really good! They were similar to Cheez-Its®, but different. Better, honestly. We ate all the crackers over the course of two days, and though I’m still not really a cracker gal, I think I’m going to make them again. Fred gave ’em two thumbs up!

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Nance’s Take:

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This is where I have to admit (once again) that I did not read the entire recipe when I picked it. To be honest I just looked at the pretty picture and thought, “I like cheese!” and sent the link to Robyn for approval. The above picture should show you that I didn’t read it through because I would have never picked a recipe that involved using a food processor. I HATE them (it’s always something with me) and think they’re horrible. So many pieces to put together. So much shit to clean. Blech. Die, food processor, die.

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This looks like a 10-year-old did it, huh? I was feeling a little hissy about the whole thing when I started the recipe so I guess I took it out on the butter. It’s exactly how I feel sometimes when I have to get dinner because everybody’s hungry. Or when I have to make a grocery list because that means that I have to have an idea of what we’re going to eat for the week and it’s all.on.me.  I am put upon, people.  PUT UPON.

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ZOMG, CHEEEEEEEEEESE!

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This recipe is pretty easy seeing as how you just throw everything into the food processor and let it go to town. I should probably disclose that Shirley grated the cheese for me the day before when she was bored. I’m sure if I had to grate it I would have been bitching about how haaaaaard and time consuming this recipe was. Yes, I’m well aware that my food processor can also grate my cheese, but that involves using other parts (I have to find them first) and I’m busy.  If by busy you mean reading gossip sites because you never know when Lindsey Lohan is going to find herself involved in some kind of debauchery that is NOT HER FAULT! Heh.

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So it looks like this after you turn the damn thing on. Truth game: I have no idea why food processors have a pulse button. It annoys me and I always put it on ROAR! after a few seconds of shitting around with that dumb pulse mode.

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This is what it looked like after I added the two tablespoons of cold water. Impressive, huh?

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I dumped it out on some plastic wrap and used the wrap to form it into a ball.  I think maybe I should have let it run some more in the food processor, but whatevs.  I lost interest.

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This is what it looked like when I threw it into the refrigerator (the recipe said for at least 20 minutes).
ATTENTION PLEASE: I started yakking with Rick and completely forgot about the goddamn ball o’ cheese and 45 minutes later I had AN ISSUE. DO NOT DO WHAT I DID!  Pay attention to your ball o’ cheese or it will be like trying to roll out a grapefruit.

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I have one of those silicon mats so I used that instead of parchment paper. Rick had to roll it out for me (see above where I mention that you should not forget about that ball o’ cheese in your refrigerator).

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We peeled the plastic wrap off and I went to town with the pizza cutter to make it into squares.

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This is what I used in place of the tooth-pick to poke holes in the crackers. Don’t ask.  Then I just picked up the silicon mat, set it on the cookie sheet and threw it in the oven.  You don’t have to move the crackers around or mess with them at all and I’m guessing that parchment paper would work out the same way.

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They were a little too puffy for my liking. The really thin edges were fabulous though so I guess it’s a win if you make sure you roll the entire thing out really thin! Would I use this recipe again? Probably. It’s kind of a pain in the ass, but I like the idea of eating real food as opposed to a cracker that is sitting on a store shelf full of chemicals. But I would make absolutely sure that it was rolled super thin and then I would sprinkle salt over it before baking!

Homemade Cheddar Cheese Crackers - Nance & Robyn make the same recipe
 
Prep time
Cook time
Total time
 
Original Source/Author:
: snack
Serves: Depends on how hungry you are
Ingredients
  • 1 cup all-purpose flour
  • 4 tablespoons unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
  • 8 ounces sharp cheddar cheese, grated
  • ¾ teaspoon salt
  • ½ teaspoon ground mustard (optional)
  • 2 tablespoons cold water
Instructions
  1. Preheat oven to 350ºF.
  2. In a food processor, shred/ grate your block of cheese (alternately, you could grate it by hand. What are you, a martyr?)
  3. In the same food processor, pulse everything except water together until it looks like coarse crumbs.
  4. While pulsing, add in water 1 tablespoon at a time.
  5. Remove from food processor, wrap in plastic wrap and put in refrigerator for at least 20 minutes.
  6. Roll out dough as thinly as possible, and cut into squares (I used a pizza cutter). Use a toothpick, or the poking implement of your choice to poke a hole in the middle of each cracker.
  7. Place crackers on lined (Silpat or parchment paper) baking sheet. Place them fairly close together, as they do not really expand. Bake for 13-15 minutes or until crispy.

 


Comments

Cheddar Cheese Crackers (Nance & Robyn make the same recipe) — 39 Comments

  1. I like that neither of us can roll out dough worth a shit and had to make our husbands do it. Ha!

    Also, Fred says that he thinks the crackers would be good if I used Pepper Jack cheese. And I like your idea of sprinkling salt over it, too.

    • I’m in physical therapy for my elbow, so I’m already planning for someone else to do the rolling. The husband will not be home for 6 weeks. This recipe cannot wait for 6 weeks. I need a Shirley.

      Also…. Pepper Jack is an awesome idea!

    • These look delicious and like real crackers! I doubt I’d make them, because it would take me too long! You have a lot of patience, Robyn 🙂

  2. We’re pathetic when it comes to being “real” housewives and using rolling pins. Ha! And I loved the way you smack talked the grating of the cheese (asshole).

    • Hush. Shirley wouldn’t have to do it if she would shut her pie-hole and let me listen to my iPod while I work in the kitchen. But no, she’s gotta be all yap, yap, yap — so now she’s gotta work!

      • Good grief! Why didn’t I ever think of that? I am deaf and when people talk to me I have to look at their face to read their lips. My hearing is like 50%, so I hear but not that well. So I have to stop cooking a lot to look at people who love to sit at my island and yap while I cook them stuff. Put them to work! You are a genius!

      • It’s a well-established rule in my house that if you get in my way, you get some of whatever I’m working on. It’s especially effective at bedtime. Children who leave their bedrooms to yap at me frequently get an a chore to do along with the answer to their question. Works brilliantly at keeping them quiet in their rooms (and getting evening chores done for a tired mom who just wants to sit on the sofa!)

  3. More bread, so I won’t be making these. Though they do look just like the cheez its. But I do have to comment (always) to say that I think it is easier to use a grater for cheese than my food processor. I am with Nance, that unless it is a lot of things going together in the food processor, it is too much work to put it together and clean it up (and put it away) afterwards. Probably be even easier if I had a Shirley to do my grating for me – but only if I could then stash them in a cabinet when not in use. Maybe a house elf is really what I am seeking.

  4. Did you both use the ground mustard? Do you think the crackers would be good without it? I don’t think I’d use it for anything else.

      • I read a another site that said paprika – I just used the ground mustard, but I’m going to try a little bit of paprika the next time too. And mustard is always added (it’s like a secret ingredient thing) to macaroni & cheese so I’m thinking that’s why they included it here. It does something to bring out or add to the cheese flavor. Does that make sense?

  5. These look good! I also like the idea of fresh crackers instead of supermarket crap.

    If I make them, I’ll try it with whole wheat flour to cut the carbs a little bit. I’ve been using a “White” whole wheat flour from Robin Hood, which is whole wheat from a different variety of wheat and maybe ground more finely. It seems to keep my blood sugar from spiking without making things heavy.

    Also, I love the tone of this blog! You two should have a show!

  6. Robyn, I’m impressed with how much you got done in the 25 minute waiting time. Me? I would have sat down with Cicero and stayed there until next Tuesday. Also? CAT PICTURES!!!!!! You might have to add Russet to my wish list along with Norland and Cicero… he’s fit right in here with Norman and Simba deciding they’ll just help themselves to the people food. ((You do NOT want to know what they did to my kitchen when I put the 13-year-old in charge of putting away the dinner leftovers and did not check his work… or “lack of” work))

    How many crackers did you get out of this recipe? My girls can hoover cheese crackers like nobody’s business. We go through boxes upon boxes upon boxes in these parts. Pretty sure it’s because their brother (the weird one who doesn’t like cheese) won’t sit anywhere near them if there’s an orange cracker in the vicinity because of the smell.

    • Oh, and I am the dolt who just figured out that my food processor will shred cheese. It’s a whole new world in my kitchen!!!!

    • That is an excellent question – I would say one batch is roughly half a regular-sized box of Cheez-Its? I’d definitely double the batch!

  7. Just what I needed–another snack food I can’t resist. I think I’m going to add a pinch of cayenne when I try them. Or maybe not. We’ll see.

    • Well, you COULD, but ever since Nance pointed out that they add stuff to shredded cheese so it won’t stick together, I’ve been making an attempt to shred it myself. I wouldn’t want to ingest all those CHEMICALS and ADDITIVES (she said as she slurped down a big cup of Diet Coke.)

      🙂

      • Several Mother’s Days ago I was at Mom’s cooking, while grating cheese grated my thumb knuckle & had to have it superglued together at urgent care. Chemicals you say? YUM, no blood! I say. 🙂

  8. The only thing better than reading Robyn’s writing, and of course, seeing the kitties, is the addition of a new funny person in the form of Nance! As a *PUT UPON* cook, I feel your frustration every step of the way!

  9. If you could figure a way to ‘dock’ the edges of each cracker without going insane they wouldn’t be able to puff up so much. With larger things, like pies, they use the tip of the fork to crush the edge and avoid puffing.

    Also more holes in the center might help – note a saltine or Ritz has several holes.

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