Every week we’ll post a recipe that we both made. This week’s recipe was Cake Batter Cracker Dip. Printable recipe can be found at the bottom of this post. The original recipe can be found over at Mommy’s Menu.
This week’s recipe was Nance’s choice, and I have no idea where she stumbled across it, but I’m going to predict that it’s Pinterest’s fault. Also, I suspect that she thought to herself “What can we make that will make the top of Amanda’s head pop off?” This fits the bill perfectly. That Nance just loves to bait Amanda.
When I told Fred what I was making, he was THE USUAL RAY OF SUNSHINE and whined about how it was going to be “Groooooooooss, that sounds grooooosssss, what the fuck, grooooosssss.” As it turns out, he was thinking of crackers like Ritz and Triscuits, and trying to figure out who the hell would eat some kind of sweet dip on those crackers.
(I would TOTALLY eat sweet dip on Ritzeseses, I’ve served Jalapeno Jelly with Ritz crackers and cream cheese approximately one million times, so this weird belief that salty and sweet don’t go together is ODD.)
If the box of cake mix doesn’t send Amanda into conniptions, the container of Cool Whip surely will. All you need is a box of cake mix (whatever flavor you prefer), Cool Whip (I got the big container, but you only need two cups), plain or vanilla yogurt, and powdered sugar (that’s what’s in that big storage container. We loves our powdered sugar.)
Toss all your ingredients into a plastic container (you’re going to be refrigerating this stuff for a while). I added 2 Tablespoons of powdered sugar, and that was just right.
Mix everything together.
I started out using a fork, but cake mix tends to clump together (STUPID CAKE MIX), so I ended up getting out the cheap handheld mixer from the very back of the cabinet (such a pain in the ass to get to) and mixing it together that way. Once it was mixed, I put the cover on the container and tossed it in the fridge for a couple of hours.
Just so you know, the stuff tastes kind of nothing-special right after you’ve mixed it up, so you really do need to let it sit in the fridge for at least an hour to let the flavors mingle.
When the hour is up, spoon the dip into a dish, serve with animal crackers and ‘Nilla wafers. Graham crackers would have been good, too, if yours aren’t stale. Mine were stale. Bleh.
The verdict? It was really good. Fred thought it was “weird”, but he can just shut his face. I thought it was DAMN good. I felt like I ate 60 pounds of this stuff, but still had as much left over. The left overs finally went to the chickens (so I’d stop eating it!), and they thought it was THE BOMB.
The cats, however, were not fans. This is Scorch – he took a lick of the dip, just to be polite, then he swore that he was “SO FULL!” after that one tiny lick. Hmph. MORE FOR ME, you damn picky kitten.
So anyway, two thumbs up from me, a “Meh” from Fred, a “Meh” from the cats, and the chickens were all “GIVE US MORE.” But then, the chickens say that about everything. They’re not picky.
If I had to pick between a piece of pie or a piece of cake, I’m going with the pie. Why? Because I am a coffee drinker and in my world there is nothing better than a slice of pie along with a nice hot cup of coffee (Jacobs Krönung is our favorite). And I can justify pie as being healthy because fruit is the main ingredient.
So why didn’t any of you fuckers submit a recipe for peach pie? DAMN YOU.
Okay, this doesn’t mean that I do not like cake. I like cake well enough. And it is easier to make than pie. I picked this recipe because my truth when it comes to cake is that I am all about eating the batter. You know that whole warning about eating raw eggs? Yeah. Does not and never has stopped me from eating the shit out of the batter when I make a cake. To me, it is the very best part of cake baking.
Please note: Sugar-free cake mix. I don’t normally buy sugar-free, but this was on sale and I thought I would give it a shot. I also bought that brand of yogurt up there because it was cheaper than my absolute favorite yogurt which is Fage®.
The recipe itself was a piece of cake (har-dee-har!) to make and I was all over that because I was busy doing very important things like sewing.
And Sadie has some incontinence issues that needed to be addressed. Sadie did not mind because she doesn’t care that she looks like Hot Topic® threw-up on her. She’s also plus-size (translation: bigger than x-large doggie diapers) and had to have something custom-made for her so she thinks she’s mad fancy now.*
The recipe said to combine all the ingredients in a bowl and mix. How hard can that be, right?
Action shot! Although I don’t know how much of an action shot it really is seeing as how I just slowly leaned that bitch into the whipped cream. Even my dum-dum eyes could tell that things were looking pretty dry in that bowl.
My super-duper mother of a mixer was having one helluva time combining those ingredients. I went ahead and added the rest of the whipped cream from the container and some vanilla to moisten that shit up.
Truth Game: I would not have had this type of photo if I were making a normal cake because I would’ve been too busy licking the beaters. I suppose this fact could also be considered foreshadowing.
I was finally able to get everything combined. And I told myself that it had to be that thick since it was a dip and it needed to be able to stay on a cracker. It should also be noted that I lie to myself all the time.
This is why I do not have a career as a food photographer or stylist. These are Keebler Animal Crackers®. I was impressed that Rick brought these home because I expected him to pick up the cheapest crackers in all the land. Sadly, this was the best and most identifiable animal in the whole damn bag which is why it made it to the top of dip mountain.
The lion appears to have a cleft palate. The rest of the animal cookies were identified as blobs of nothing. They tasted like shit on their own and they weren’t much better with the dip. Bye, bye Keebler® Sponsorship!
I decided to try the dip with graham crackers because I thought my first impression may have been clouded by that crappy animal cracker. I didn’t care for the dip with graham cracker either. I passed it around and nobody really cared for it.
So I decided that maybe I would make this for a party if I wanted to have more than one variety of dip and if there would be kids attending. My brain immediately had two thoughts.
- I don’t have parties.
- I don’t like kids.
This recipe was pitched. If I want to eat cake batter, I’ll just grab a box of Duncan Hines® and take my chances with the raw eggs.
* Apologies to facebook friends who have already seen these, but I needed some animals in this entry to compete with that damn Robyn. Heh.
- 1 box of cake mix, whichever flavor floats your boat
- 1½ c. plain or vanilla-flavored yogurt
- 2 c. Cool Whip
- Powdered sugar, to taste (Robyn used 2 T. and thought it was just right)
- Animal crackers, graham crackers, 'Nilla wafers, fresh fruit. Whatever you feel like dipping!
- Combine all ingredients (except crackers) and mix 'til smooth and creamy. Refrigerate for at least one hour.
- Serve with your favorite crackers.